Chapter Two -
Revelations...Chapter Two -
Revelations...Skinner
paces
in his
office for a few minutes, hopeful that Doggett will leave for the
night,
relatively
soon.
It
is a
lot of
information for the man to process and he will most likely feel the
need for
bed. Though, I would go for a drink.
He
waits for
five more
minutes, and then returns to the elevator, lighting up the ‘B’ button
as the
doors close.
J.
Basement
7:33
p.m.
Krycek
stands
in the
middle of the forbidden office, reading Mulder’s file on him for a
moment
longer than he really needs to; comfortable that his black attire
allows him to
almost fade into the surrounding darkness.
However, the small halogen light on Scully’s desk allows a
slight
illumination to invade the eerily quiet room, and he begins to feel a
bit
uneasy-exposed-as he continues to read.
I
wonder
if there will
ever be a way for her to forgive me. He
ponders, his
concentration so acute he
fails to hear the elevator doors announcing an arrival, and thereby
misses
Skinner’s entrance to the office.
The
lack of a
response
from the man standing before him gives the Assistant Director both
ample time
to read the thoughtful expression on the younger man’s face, by the
soft glow
of the lamp as he enters the room, and a jolt of surprise. He
has got
to
be losing his touch, if he didn't hear me unlock the door and walk in
here. I wonder what is troubling him so
deeply.
"Are
you really
that much of a glutton for punishment?"
Skinner quietly inquires, turning on the overhead fluorescent
lights as
a signal of his presence, before stepping nearer to the younger man.
Krycek
jumps
at both the
sudden voice interrupting his thoughts, and the bright glare of the
light. He turns around abruptly,
simultaneously
closing the folder he holds with his left hand, and grabbing his Glock
from his
left shoulder holster with his right.
"Relax,
Alex. It is just me. I
saw you there; in the back. I figured I
would still find you here after
he left."
"Jesus,
Walter! You looking to get shot? You scared the shit out of me!"
Alex declares, returning his gun to its
holster.
"Sorry. I thought you would have heard me arrive by
the elevator doors chiming. Or, at the
very least, by my unlocking the door."
"So, do
you
think he
believed you?" Alex asks, ignoring
Walter's statement; wanting to leap immediately into conversation
instead,
rather than acknowledge that he was caught unawares. "Do
you really think that he will back
off of Scully, and just let her and Mulder be for awhile?
Or is he such a ‘by the book’ cop that he
will dig as deep as he can, until he finds what he wants, and then act
upon it
without any regard to what the outcome might be, upon reaching the end
of his
search?"
Walter
rubs
his hands
over his head and massages his neck.
"I don’t know, Alex. I hope
he can keep his cool. However, we have
to do something to help him believe.
Though I have no idea what that would exactly be, nor how. Otherwise, this is definitely not going to
work. I can't have someone so
closed-minded on my team. Not anymore. Dana was a skeptic, yes, but that was
different. She always had a way of
proving scientifically to herself, if to no one else, that maybe
a lot of what Mulder had said over the course of the years was true. I know she has seen many peculiar things,
even if she will not admit to it. But
men like Agent Doggett?
"I used
to be
like him, Alex, and I truly don't know how Mulder was able to put up
with me
for so long. Being his supervisor
probably helped to keep him in line, but other than that, I see no
reason why
he trusted me. As for the rest? I can only hope that Agent Doggett isn't as
cocky as Mulder was, and that he will listen to orders, rather than go
off on a
tangent of his own for answers."
"Walter?"
"Yes?"
"You do
realize you're still talking about Mulder in the past tense, don’t you?" Alex asks with a slight grin on his face,
wanting to dispel the stale tension in the room, as the residual effect
of the
A.D.’s conversation with Scully’s new partner still bothers him.
"Was I? Shit.
I guess I was just getting used to him being ‘dead’. Now I will have to get used to the fact; he
is not." Walter smiles, as the reality
that Mulder is in fact alive begins to truly sink into his mind.
"We are
playing a very
dangerous game here, Walt." Alex
points out, as he once again thumbs idly through the file in his left
hand.
"I
know."
"Do you
think
I will
ever be able to repair the damage that has been caused by my, for want
of a
milder term, naïveté, over the years? Do
you think Mulder will ever trust me?"
He questions as he looks down, trying desperately to keep the
emotions
of guilt and loss from overpowering him.
God I hate feeling this way!
"Do you think Scully could ever forgive me?"
"Trust..." Walter replies, placing a hand on the younger
man’s shoulder in a brotherly manner, "Trust, Alex, is a big deal to
Mulder and Dana, and it is hard earned.
I know. It has taken years for
them to trust me. Yet, I am confident
that once they hear what you have got to say it will become better-and
easier-for you, despite your history. It
simply takes time.
"As for
forgiveness? That I can't even begin to
take a guess at with regard to them.
However, Dana does have a kind and generous heart, so you may
have a
chance to be able to sway her. But, I
can honestly not give my advice about forgiveness from Mulder. Personally, I think he's still upset with me
over the fact I told him to never make a deal with Spender regarding
Dana’s
cancer, and then made one myself.
"Yet,
you
must not
forget, Alex, I am here and I hope that accounts for at least
something."
"It
does. Although, please forgive me
when I say; I wonder if it will be enough.
Enough that you trust and forgive me." Alex replies, gazing up at Walter; the
honesty in his eyes enough to make the older man want to re-kill the
dead
bastard who manipulated the younger man’s life for so long.
"No
need for
forgiveness from me now, Alex. I
listened to you and I believed you. You
haven’t done anything to prevent me since then from believing in you,
either."
"I am
sorry
about
the nanobots earlier today. However, I
had to use them for…"
"I know. But please, give me a bit more of a warning
next time. It hurts like a son of a
bitch!"
"There
will
not be a
need for a ‘next time’." Alex
affirms, stepping away from the older man.
"Thanks, Walter."
"You’re
welcome. Now let’s get out of here, lest
we are seen together. We can't have our
friendship discovered, before it's time."
Walter cautions.
"All
right." Alex agrees, as he returns
the file into the cabinet. "Well,
since I don’t have to worry about Doggett for the moment, thanks to
you, I
think I am going to go and check on Dana, and thenhead to The Irish
Isle for a drink.
Want to join me?" He questions,
quickly sending the A.D. a
knowing look.
Walter
watches him
closely; needing to be sure the younger man is okay, before having to
leave him
to return to the hospital, himself.
"Alex,
I know
all
too well how hard the past few days have been for you, as well as Dana,
and I
regret that I have been unable to spend as much time with you over the
course
of them as I would have liked, especially considering the
circumstances."
"Don't
worry
about
it, Walter. I am fine."
Alex rushes to assure the older man, as he
zips up his jacket in preparation of leaving the building.
"Give
me a
couple of
hours, Alex." Walter replies,
ignoring the small smirk on the young man’s face. Knowing
what the expression truly stands
for. You still try so hard to appear
nonchalant about things that bother you.
Why is that? "I am going
back to the hospital to check on how Mulder is doing, as I promised
Dana I
would not be gone for too long. And don't
feel as though you have to go and watch her back. I'll take care of
her. We can't risk her seeing you. Then I
will have that drink with you."
"All
right. I wish I could argue with
you,
Walter. Yet, we both know what type of
scene that would make with
Da…Scully, if I did get caught. Not that I
would. But, I most certainly don't
want to add any stress to her life. She
has enough as it is." Alex states,
his tone once again all business.
"I know
you
want to
express your well wishes to Mulder, Alex.
I am sorry that you can't right now, but I am glad you do
realize
it is
for the best that your presence remain as clandestine as possible." Walter quietly says, wanting to free the
other man of his guilt at not being able to visit the agent. Understanding how badly Alex wishes he could
join him, if things had only turned out differently prior
to
Bellefleur.
"It's
okay. I will have a chance at some point,
I'm sure." Alex predicts, as he looks
around the office,
making sure that there is no sign of his having been in the vicinity. Once satisfied, he turns to leave. "All right, Walt. I'll
see you later."
"Be
careful,
Alex."
Alex
smiles
devilishly at
him. "Always. Oh,
and I'll be sure to tell you-know-who
you said hi." With
that,
Alex sneaks
back out of the building the same way he had arrived, while pondering
his
desire of peace for the future. All
I want
is some
happiness around here.
Is
that really
too much to hope for?
Skinner
grins
into the
empty office at Krycek’s last remark, and then turns toward Mulder's
desk. He glances at the wall behind it,
taking a
moment to look and actually read the poster.
"I Want to Believe". He
whispers through a smile. Glad
to
have you back,
Mulder.
Turning,
he
then exits
the office as well, being careful to shut off the lights and lock the
door. He walks to the elevator
and, upon its arrival, enters, and then pushes the button for his floor. Once back in his own office, he leaves
instructions on Kim’s desk that he will be out for a few days so that
he may
attend to matters regarding a sick friend, and instructs her to send
all messages to
his
voicemail; adding that he will be unreachable by cell phone except by
members
of the X-Files Division. He then walks
in and sits at his desk for a moment, reflecting on how he and Alex
Krycek, of
all people, had managed to become friends.
J.
Office
of Assistant Director Walter Skinner
May
29, 2000
6:22
p.m.
"You
have one
new
incoming message." Announces the
computerized voice of the FBI E-mail system.
A bit
startled that he
would be receiving something so late in the day, Skinner reaches for
his mouse,
clicks the small icon on his computer desktop to open his Inbox, and
stares at
the writing on the screen:
To: W.Skinner@fbi.gov
Fr: AKnownMouse@hotmail.com
May
29, 2000
Over
the course of the past few years I have
closely
followed the work of the agents in your X-Files Division.
Recently,
I became aware that your Agent Mulder
was
abducted from a field in the State of
Please
meet me at The Irish Isle Pub and Grill
at
Tonight.
Come
alone.
Seat
yourself, and then I will approach you.
Until
then…
"Shit!" Skinner declares, as he deletes
the message,
and then empties the 'Trash' folder on his e-mail server.
Who
the
hell could
possibly have sent this? 'AKnownMouse'? Clever way of saying 'anonymous', I must
admit. How the hell did he/she get my
e-mail address? Damn it.
Dana is under enough stress without having to
bring this up. I’ll go, but with
reliable backup.
Skinner thinks, as he pulls his Sig Sauer P228
from its holster, and after verifying that it is secure and loaded,
returns it
to its rightful place, preparing to leave for the meeting.
Shutting
down
his
computer, Skinner then grabs his trench coat from the closet in his
office and
exits, the door automatically locking behind him as it closes.
I
wonder
if the owner
will be around.
He ponders, making his way through the
building to his car in the parking garage.
She was certainly cute when I saw her last.
‘Cute’?
Oh God, I really do need a vacation.
Mulder, where the hell are you?
Can't you see I need you back here, if only
to keep my sanity?
Suddenly
laughing at the
absurdity of his last thought, Skinner starts his car and hurriedly
heads out
toward his destination, once again wondering who would have the courage
to want
to meet with him about the search for Mulder.
The
Irish
May
29, 2000
7:17
p.m.
"Krycek!"
"Hello,
Skinner." The ever-elusive triple
agent greets, leaning back against the seat directly across from the
stunned
face of his former boss. "Long time
no see."
Not
desiring
to cause a
scene at the pub he frequents, Skinner merely sits statuesque; anger
flowing
through him. He clenches his fists
together underneath the table to prevent himself from striking the
younger man,
while he also thinks of a quick retort.
Finding none suitable enough for the moment, he simply gets to
down to
business.
"Krycek,
what
the hell
are you doing here? You have a lot of
guts showing your face again, especially after Bellefleur.
What do you know about Mulder’s
abduction? What information do you have
that could possibly be of any use in finding him? Just
give it to me, and then get the fuck
out!"
"Keep
your
cool,
Walter. Wouldn’t want you to bust a vein
now, would we?" Krycek inquires
smarmily.
"What
do you
want,
Krycek?" Skinner replies through
clenched teeth.
"Calm
down,
would
you? I will answer your questions, but
first…I’d like to tell you a story, if I may?"
"I
don't
have time
for your mind-games, Krycek. I have an
agent missing, and another agent who is frantically trying to locate
him; on
and off the clock."
The
waitress,
upon seeing
that Skinner is no longer alone, walks over to the table.
"What
can I
get for
you, Sir?"
"I
would like
a cup
of coffee, thank you." Krycek
replies kindly.
"One
cup of
coffee
coming right up. Cream or sugar?"
"Both." After a pause, he changes his mind. "Actually, do you happen to have any of
those little containers of Hazelnut flavored creamer?"
"Yes,
Sir. I will bring some right out for
you." She replies, walking away to
fulfill his order.
Skinner
stares at him,
disbelieving that he has just witnessed the assassin ordering
coffee-and a
special creamer to boot-as if he were a normal civilian.
The
experience alone is
mind-boggling.
"What
is your
game,
Krycek? Have you come here to play with
your little robots again? What will you
do now, wait until I take a sip of my drink, and then hit the button so
that I
can choke?"
"Get
over
yourself,
would you Walter? I came here because I
am sick and tired of the fucking games.
I finally did something that I should have done a long time ago. Something which could have very well
prevented the situation that you find yourself to be in right now. Unfortunately, I didn't do it when I had the
prior chance, so now we are stuck where we are.
All we can do at this point is move forward.
I am here because I want to help you."
"Help
me? Krycek, since when have you ever
wanted to help? Aside from
a couple of weeks ago when you
showed up to give Mulder that information about the ship, you have been
a thorn
in our sides. Your ‘help’ last time, by
the way, has now led us here! If it were
not for that Intel you and Marita Covarrubias brought to our attention,
I
highly doubt Mulder would be missing!
Other than that, you have always been more of a nuisance, rather
than an
aide to Mulder’s quest. So, how could
you possibly be of any assistance to me now?"
"I
recently
killed
the man responsible for ruining, not only my life and promising career
as an
FBI Agent, but the lives of Mulder and Scully.
The same man who had his hand in your affairs a
time or two, if
memory
serves."
Skinner’s
eyes widen at
Krycek’s blatant admittance regarding his act of assassination. "You killed Spender? How the hell did you manage to do
that?!" He questions, cringing upon
hearing the slight bit of awe in his own voice with respect to the
younger
man’s deed.
"It was
rather easy,
actually. I simply pushed him down a
flight of stairs, and then I put a bullet into his head.
The only regret I have regarding the feat is
that Mulder was not present to witness the old bastard’s demise. I am sure he would have felt some sort of
closure,
had he been able to be a party to the big event. Unfortunately,
he was across the country with
you…getting taken by aliens."
"Fuck
you,
Krycek! How did you find out about
Mulder, anyway?"
"I have
my
sources,
Walter."
Skinner
takes
a sip of
his coffee, as the waitress-Starr, according to her nametag-walks up
with
Krycek’s own cup, and a plate of individual creamer containers.
"Here
you
are, Sir,
can I get you anything else this evening?"
Krycek
looks
up at the
woman and smiles. "No thanks, this
is all I need."
"Very
well. Have a nice night."
"Thanks,
you
too."
Starr
returns
his smile,
and then proceeds to the next table after giving Skinner a brief nod.
Skinner
takes
another sip
of his own coffee, and then places his cup onto the table, having no
idea how
to compartmentalize the past two minutes.
"You
look a
little
piqued there, Walter. Something
wrong?" Krycek asks with a smirk,
as he expertly pours a creamer into his own coffee.
Skinner
watches
intensely, as Krycek picks up another one of the small containers with
his
prosthetic left hand, and opens the lid with his right.
"You
seem to
have
adapted quite well to your…situation."
Skinner replies offhand, wondering how long it had taken for him
to
adjust to his handicap, as well as what the man before him could
possibly tell
him which would hold any relevance to the Mulder case.
"I have
had
to learn. Either I figured out how to
live with it, or I was dead. As you can
see, I've survived." Krycek states
with a slight shrug, picking up a spoon to stir his coffee.
Troubled
by
Krycek’s
seemingly nonchalant attitude, but not wanting to show the man his
unexpected
concern, Skinner makes to return the conversation to its original
subject.
"What
do you
want,
Krycek?"
"Same
as you. For Mulder to be returned.
For this shit to end."
"What
the
hell do
you care? The two of you are not exactly
bosom buddies. In fact, if I am not
mistaken, Mulder would rather see you six feet under.
Why would you wish to have him back?"
"Because
he
should
not have been taken in the first place.
No one should be taken off of this planet. Don’t
you realize that there is a war going
on and, for the time being, we seem to be the only people who actually
give a
damn about Colonization? He has to come
back, Walter. If he doesn’t, we will
lose."
"How do
you
propose
we get him back, Krycek?
We do not even know where he is!
Not to mention the fact that he was taken by a group of aliens
for God’s sake! They could be anywhere
in the damn universe by now. Christ, I
feel like a character in a Star Trek episode."
"They
are
still
here."
"How do
you
know
that? You have some sort of
communication link with them, or something?
I can just see it now…'Krycek to Mothership…come in Mothership.' Give me a fucking break."
"Oh for
Christ's
sake, grow up Walter, would you? This is
not
Star Trek! The evidence is there, or
rather, here. I have a source who is
currently tracking the movement of the ship as it travels across the
country. It may not be able to be seen
with our eyes, but it can't hide from certain aspects of our current
technology. When the time is right, we
should be able to pinpoint exactly where it is, and hopefully get
Mulder
back."
"Why
should I
trust
you? Anytime you come into contact with
one of us, whether it is Mulder, Dana, or I, one of us manages to get
hurt. How do I know that any information
you give
me will be accurate? How do I know that
you are not merely setting us up?"
"You
don’t."
Skinner’s
jaw
falls at
the complete bluntness of Krycek’s statement.
"Let me
tell
you a
story, Walter. After I am through, maybe
you will begin to understand a few things."
Against
his
own
instincts, Skinner nods for him to continue.
His rising curiosity overshadowing his sudden desire to smash
the man’s
pretty face to pieces.
"I am
not the
rat-bastard that Mulder has made me out to be."
Skinner
chuckles, despite
himself.
"Here
me out,
will
you? Yes, I have done some pretty shitty
things, but I have also had my reasons.
Number one being that I wanted to stay alive.
But, no matter what I may or may not have
done to you, or to them, I have been on the same side. Yes, I betrayed Mulder. I
had to. However, that
doesn't mean that I didn't
believe in what he was searching for, nor does it mean that I wanted
to do some of the things I have done, or not done.
"He has
accused me
of some pretty heinous acts, such as killing his father or Scully’s
sister. But I was not responsible for
either death; I was merely in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"Ha. You actually expect me to believe that? You were there, Krycek. Even
if you didn't pull the trigger, you are
still guilty by association."
"You
can be
such a
pompous prick, you know that? Did it
ever occur to you that the reason I might have been at those scenes was
to save
those people? Christ, there is no way in
hell I would have been able to shoot down Scully. Especially
in cold blood! I was there because I
wanted to give her
Cardinal. Unfortunately, that slimy
sonofabitch was too fucking trigger happy for his own good, and I had
failed to
realize it until it was too late. I
should have taken him down myself, and
then presented him to her. But,
they do say that hindsight is
twenty-twenty. Anyway, thank God I was
able to get a warning to her beforehand that something was going on. It helped me to believe she would not enter
the apartment, not without backup.
Still, the fact that her sister walked in and died was tragic,
but not
exactly under my power. I had been
expecting nothing more than a fruitless wait, hoping Scully would heed
my
warning and not return. Melissa's
appearance was beyond my control. Though
I am truly sorry she died, I can hardly be blamed for her arrival. Cardinal reacted before I could even blink an
eye.
"As for
Bill
Mulder? I did not kill that man, no
matter how much I may have wanted to.
Not only did I not kill him, but if I had, the last
thing I would have done was go running over to Mulder’s fucking
apartment after
I did! I may be considered crazy, but I
am not insane."
"You
are so
full of
shit, Krycek, your eyes are brown. Your
explanation seems so damn contrived.
Have you been practicing that little speech for awhile?"
"I did
not
come here
to be insulted with childish analogies, Skinner. Now,
are you going to listen to me? Or am I
going to have to leave and handle
this incident by myself? Cause I will,
if I have to. I have no qualms with
getting up right now, and leaving your slow ass in the dust. Hell, if it were not for me, you
would not even be here right now. You
would be a dead man pushing up daisies in
Actually
thrown by the
amount of confidence Krycek seems to have developed between their last
few
encounters, Skinner finds himself rather intrigued, and waves at the
man to
continue with his story.
"Thank
you. Now, I will start from the beginning
to give
you some insight, but feel free to stop me if you have any questions. I would really rather do this only once, so if
you think about anything else you may want to know, after I have
spoken, save
it for another meeting. I don’t have the
time to spend rehashing my life story all night, as there is work to be
done."
"Fine. Go on if you are feeling the need to
confess. I’ll listen, and you damn well
can bet that I will start asking questions.
In fact, I want to ask you one right now. How
the fuck did you end up getting tangled
with Spender in the first place?"
Krycek
begins
chuckling. "Actually, that is about
where I was going to start. How
ironic…you’re getting spooky on me."
"Shut
up,
Krycek and
start talking."
Immediately
losing his
grin, Krycek’s voice becomes a low husk as he begins to relay his story.
"I was
approached by
Section Chief Blevins shortly after my graduation from the Academy, and
told
that I would be assigned to Agent Fox Mulder within the year. Of course, at the time this statement came to
me it had made absolutely no sense, because everyone knew Mulder was
partnered
with Agent Scully. However, it was also
common knowledge that a partnership could end at any time, for most any
reason,
and I found myself thinking that maybe I was simply next in line to be
his
partner, should anything happen to Scully.
Therefore, when I was indeed partnered up
with him about eighteen months later, I was not too surprised. What I was surprised about was what Blevins
told me my assignment would be.
"I was
to
help
Mulder find his long-lost sister, discredit the X-Files, and prove that
Agent
Scully was committing treason by divulging sensitive information to
unknown
sources with regard to Mulder’s cases."
"What?! That is absolutely ridiculous!
Scully?
A spy? Give me a break! They are the fucking people who
put her with Mulder in the first place! They
are the ones who wanted her to discredit the X-Files! Why in God’s name would they send you
in to do the same damn thing?!"
"Because
she
was not
discrediting the X-Files, Walter. She
found herself liking Mulder, and soon
after being partnered with him, she
began to believe that by working alongside him, instead of against him,
her
science could help to give him the credit he needed to continue working
on the
X-Files.
"This,
of
course,
pissed off the Elders, because They were so damned determined to close
them. In other words, Their little ploy
turned on Them, so they wanted to have her removed from the picture. Thus, They sent in me. To
keep the pair at a distance from each
other. To keep them separated."
"But
the
X-Files were
closed when you came along! Mulder was
on wiretap detail and Scully was back at
"They
were
separated, Walter, but still in contact with each other.
That is what was proving to be
the most problematic. They could take
the X-Files away from the pair, but Mulder would still find a way to
work on
one, and ask for her scientific assistance.
The Cole case being a prime example of this.
Of course, I had absolutely no
idea that any of this crap was what was taking place.
Hell, I was so damn green at that time; I
would have believed practically anything anyone of authority would have
told
me. This was almost identical-in
retrospect-to the scenario Agent Scully had been given, when she was
first
partnered with Mulder. Go in, report
your findings in such a way as to make Mulder appear crazy, and get out.
"But,
she was
green
too, at least to the field, and she found herself intrigued by the
cases, and wanting
to stay with Mulder. To give him the
credibility he so desperately needed. As
for my arrival, I was only doing what I was assigned to do. Isn’t that what we were trained for? To take orders? To
be at such-and-such a place at
such-and-such a time? Hell, if you think
about it, working for the Bureau is almost like working for the
military. You just get to wear better
clothes."
"Well,
Krycek…once
you found out what was really going on, after the Duane Barry incident,
why
didn’t you come to me instead of running?
I would have protected you. I
could have placed you into a safe house, while allowing Mulder to flush
the
bastards out. I can’t believe that you
would willingly become a part of Their
organization, knowing what you knew…that
Scully was not a spy, and that They had lied their balls off to get you
to do
their bidding."
"I had
no
choice,
Walter. None."
"Everyone
has
a choice,
Krycek."
"Not
everyone,
Walter. What would you have done if you
were told your entire family had a contract on their
heads? A contract that had only one
stipulation. Either I remained in the
‘employ’ of the Syndicate and did whatever was asked of
me, or I
would be given a ring side seat at the execution of my parents, and my
closest
friends."
"Jesus,
Alex! That alone should have compelled you
to see
me. I could have protected you! I could have protected your family! If you had only spoken up…If you had come to
Mulder or I, we…"
Krycek
chuckles again at
Skinner’s statements. "Please,
Skinner. Do not patronize me.
You know very well what type of people I was
dealing with. You, yourself, were once
wrapped up within the confines of Spender’s web. The
only difference between you and me is
that you were able to break free a lot sooner than I was, and without
losing a
lot more than I have. Other than that, I
see you and I as being practically equal with regard to my renegade
lifestyle. You just hide your seedy past
better than I do.
"Of
course, I don't
give a damn anymore about who knows what, now.
Because I take it as a symbol that I have won my freedom. Because I am here and They…are not. I am certainly not proud of most of the
events that have transpired over the course of my last seven or eight
years of
life, but I am at least still alive.
That is a lot more than most of Them can claim."
Krycek
pauses
to take a
drink from his coffee and realizes, only as he carefully swallows so as
not to
choke, that the other man referred to him by his first name. Feeling optimistic, he then continues his
tale in a more confident tone.
"Yes,
people
did get
hurt. Agents Mulder and Scully both lost
family members. I lost an arm. For all of that, I am sorry.
But now…maybe we can be considered even and
can start over, because I finally killed Spender. They
have to know that I did not kill
members of
their families. They have to know that I
am on their
side!
"Damn
it, we
have to
be able to work together, Walter, or pretty soon there will no longer
even be a
need. We will all either be dead, or
hosts to a new race. A race that does
not want us here, except as a possible source of incubation and slave
labor. I, personally, would rather not
become ‘papa’ to an alien. There are
enough scars on this body without having to add stretch marks to the
list."
Skinner
ponders the
younger man’s words for a few moments, allowing his reasoning to sink
in, while
he takes a few sips of his coffee.
Krycek
waits
patiently,
sipping at his own drink. When Skinner
finally begins speaking, the question asked is far from what he had
been
expecting.
"What
exactly
happened to your arm?"
Krycek
sharply inhales,
pondering the pros and cons of telling Skinner the true story. Deciding that the older man deserves to be
treated with the truth from this point forward, no matter how painful
it might
be to reveal, he answers the question.
"It was
cut
off in
the early hours of the morning on the final night that I was in
"Instead,
I
went my
own way, while hoping that he would make it out on his own. Shortly thereafter, I ran into a group of
peasants. They offered to feed me and
let me sleep within their camp for the night, after I explained to them
that I
was an American who had been wrongly accused of spying.
During the night, as I slept, they decided to
help me with something else. You see, at
that time if you had no left arm They could not perform Their tests. So, due to their own fears of the gulag, the
peasants held me down and cut it off-like they had their own. In their minds they were keeping me from a
fate
worse than death.
"They
had no
way of
knowing that I was already immune to the Black Oil, and even when I
tried to
explain to them that there was no need to do what they were doing-in
between my
screams-they would not listen. Thus, the
next morning I woke up…after having instinctively passed out from the
excruciating pain…and found myself to be alone.
My left arm was gone. Literally
burned to ashes in the campfire. The
remaining stump had been cauterized during the…process…but I still
ended up
having some extensive corrective surgery performed in order for my new
prosthetic to function properly. That's
why I wasn't around much the following year.
I was recovering."
Skinner
stares at the man
before him, his expression bewildered.
"What
is it,
Walter? You look lost."
"How
can you
relay
that entire scenario so damn stoically?
Aren’t you…angry? Don’t you blame
Mulder in the slightest for what happened to you?"
"I did,
for
awhile. Until, I realized later that
what happened was my own damn fault. I
should
have trusted Mulder enough to let him know what was being done to the
inmates
within the gulag. Why he was being held
captive, while I was hanging out with the brass. Why
I had set him up with those receipts in
the first place."
"What were
you doing?"
"Having
him
vaccinated against the Black Oil.
Leading him to
"Jesus. Why?
Why did you go through all of that, just to vaccinate him? I mean, why did you care?"
"I had
that
shit
inside of me, Walter. That ‘being’, for
lack of a better term, controlled my every movement the entire time It
inhabited my body. I had no
control over anything. My body was not
my own. My mind…shit, my mind was being shared! I could literally feel that Thing take over
and use me to do It's bidding. It was
not I who gave up that fucking tape, Skinner. It was that oily…alien. It
wanted to go home, so It used me to
achieve that goal."
"How
did you
become infected? Mulder never mentioned
anything about the
oily substance invading you. The only
thing he said was that he felt you were acting strangely, after he
caught up
with you in
"After
my
initial encounter
with Mulder in the
"Mulder
never
even
knew! I sat with that brilliant profiler
for over eighteen hours, and he never once hinted that
he might
know what was actually happening to me.
Even when we were in that damn car-just before we were run off
the
road-he never figured it out, at least not then.
"Later,
after
the
wreck, I found myself to be standing in front of Spender."
Krycek pauses to laugh humorlessly. "That
fucker did
know! Can you believe it?
Spender knew, and Mulder didn't. How
is that for irony? Anyway, I was forced to
hand over the
DAT. The next thing I knew, I was
standing atop an alien spacecraft with this oily shit flowing out of me
like I
was It's own well. It came from my nose,
mouth, ears, and even my damn eyes! All
while I was conscious, and thus allowing me to watch in horror as It
seeped
into It's ship. Afterward, I managed to
roll off the damn thing and found myself to be trapped.
Spender had locked me in with the ship at the
bottom of a fucking silo in the middle of
"How
did you
get
out?"
"You
already
know
how. I was released by a militia group
out on a salvage recognizance mission."
Skinner
coughs to cover
his surprise. "Sorry."
He mumbles, not wishing to bring on the other
man’s wrath. Not when he is finally
receiving some answers to a lot of the questions he has harbored over
the
course of several years.
"What's
the
matter,
Walter? You didn’t believe that? Why the hell would I have lied about it? Yes, those were a bunch of psychopathic
nutcases, but they still saved my life.
If it were not for them, and their desire for a ‘better’
society, I
would be a pile of dust lying underneath a space craft in Silo
Ten-Thirteen. I do not believe in their
cause, but I can
see where they might be coming from. We,
too, are fighting our own fight against a force we perceive as menacing. Our fight just happens to include the loss of
the entire human race, should we be defeated."
"Why Mulder,
though? Why did you want him
to be protected against the Black Oil?"
"Because
he
is one of the very few people who can help me to win this war. He believes.
He has seen so damn much, Skinner!
He is brilliant! He has the
ability to wrap things up into a pretty package, and hand it over to
those who
will then be able to understand what he says.
Those people being you, Agent Scully, and his trio of computer
hacker
friends. There are very few people among
us on this planet who share his capability of making intuitive leaps,
and
receiving results from those leaps. Not
to forget, he does have an eidetic memory.
If there is anyone out there who could record an event with
their mind,
it is him. We need someone like him in
the Resistance. Someone who is willing
to go out on a limb in the pursuit of their beliefs.
You, too, were such a man once upon a
time. Are you now? Are
you still willing to ‘fight the good
fight’?"
Skinner
smirks. "You would be surprised what I am
willing to do at this point, Alex. I
have become a believer, myself. In fact,
I am guessing Fate had a lot to do with making sure that I
was
the person who accompanied Mulder to
"However,
no
matter
what I believe, or what you believe, we still have a major problem. How do we get him back? And,
why the hell should I trust
you? You filled my body with tinny tiny
machines, for your own gain. I may sit
here and feel compelled to side with you, just based on your story thus
far,
but how do I know that you are not merely setting me up?
How do I know that you will not kill me, as
soon as you have attained whatever goal it is you have set for yourself
this
time?"
"Skinner,
if
I had
wanted you dead, I would have killed you already."
"You
did, God
damn
it!" Skinner retorts, his voice
rising.
Krycek
reaches into his
jacket, and pulls out the modified Palm Pilot used to control the
nanobots
residing in Skinner’s bloodstream; scaring the other man into stunned
silence.
"No, I
brought you
back. I retrieved this controller so
that you would not die. It
was not an easy feat, either. I am the
one who killed the Tunisian Diplomat at Doctor Orgel’s home.
I am the one who Mulder failed to catch in
the backyard. Not to mention, I am also
the man who ran down your would-be assassin in the parking garage to
keep you
from being shot when you were having an attack.
If I had wanted you to be out of the picture, I would have let
him
perform the dirty work for me, and saved my car a few scratches. I told you, Walter. I
am on your side. I
am sick of the games. I am bone-tired of
running around like a
chicken with my head cut off. I have not
spent years protecting you and Mulder,
and Scully; just to watch the
three of you die, because of an outside source which I could
control." Krycek sighs in
exasperation. "Here, this is now
yours. I have no need for it.
It is the only one of its kind, so you can do
with it what you will, without fear of being attacked later on by
another
one." Handing
Skinner the
remodeled organizer, Krycek then reaches for his coffee and takes a sip
of the
tepid liquid.
Skinner
stares at the
small computer in awe, not fully comprehending that Krycek has just
relieved one
of his worst fears by releasing it to his possession.
Starr
takes
this moment
to once again approach the two men.
"Can I
get
you
gentlemen anything else?"
Krycek
smiles
at the
pretty brunette, a little perturbed by the disruption, but willing to
overlook
the fact, as she is just doing her job.
"No, we are fine."
"All
right,
but if
you need anything, just wave. I will be
around."
"Thanks."
As the
woman
walks away,
Skinner finally looks up at Krycek, and swallows over the lump in his
throat
before speaking. "You…."
He pauses, coughing slightly, and tries
again.
Much to
Krycek’s
amusement.
"You
mentioned being
able to control whether or not certain aspects of danger could bring
harm to
the three of us. How is Scully involved
in any of this? You were involved in her
abduction, Krycek. That did not appear
to be helping her in any way."
"I was not
involved in her being taken. All I was
involved with was making sure Mulder did not reach the summit of
Skinner
inhales sharply
at the implication being presented to him.
"You
brought her back?"
"Yes,
and
that is
not the only thing I have done with regard to Miss Scully.
She is…"
Krycek pauses a moment to get his thoughts in order, carefully. Hoping not to reveal too much.
"She is special, in more ways than
one. There was simply no excuse for her
to have had to deal with some of the things that happened to her. Therefore, when I could help out, I did. It is extremely unfortunate, though, that she
was made barren because of the experiments Spender conducted on her. For that I am truly sorry."
"Aside
from
bringing
her back, what else have you done to assist her? I
must warn you Krycek; I am extremely
guarded when it comes to her welfare.
She has been through entirely too much to have to deal with
anything
more. This shit with regard to Mulder
being abducted has taken a large toll on her.
In fact, her stress level has to be kept below a certain level
because…" Skinner stops speaking,
immediately shaken by the realization he almost revealed to the man the
very
information that he was sworn to keep to himself.
Krycek’s
eyes
narrow,
immediately sensing that there is something amiss, and he is not privy
to it.
"What
were
you going
to say, Skinner?"
"Nothing. It's nothing. Go
on; explain to me just what you have done
for her, lately." Skinner demands,
rigid in his insistence at not continuing his previous statement
regarding
Scully’s health.
"I am
the
person who
worked it so that Mulder could make it to
"What?!"
"It's
true. After Mulder refused to deal with
Spender,
the old man became extremely agitated.
Spender had known Mulder would be unable to make a deal with him
regarding the chip implant; he was too loyal to her beliefs, as well as
to his
own. But it did not lessen Spender’s
anger any. Therefore, when that prick
was going to toss it into the
"Why
are you
here
now, Krycek? How come you didn't come
forward with this information two weeks ago during our conference in my
office,
before Mulder and I went to
"I
needed
Mulder to
go back to
"Why
did you
stay
with Spender for so long? Why didn’t you
come to us years ago? I have listened to
your story, and a lot if it is finally filling in some blanks, but I
still don't understand why you would put yourself through what you have. You could have come back to the Bureau and
been fighting alongside Mulder and Scully.
Not from the outside."
"I
stayed
within the
Consortium ranks so that I would be on ‘the inside’ and hopefully
prevent
anymore harm coming to the agents. Plus,
if I had left the Syndicate entirely, I would have been a dead man, and
dead
men can't help anyone."
"I find
your
nobility to be quite heartening, Krycek.
Though I find myself having a lot more questions as this
conversation
proceeds."
"Ask
away,
Walter. I am not here to hide anything
from you. Not anymore.
I want things to be civil between us. I
want to get out of the fucking dark, and be
allowed to work alongside you, without having to worry about being
killed in
the process. Besides, I want to bring
the rest of these bastards down, as much as you do.
I want Mulder back, and coming forward now is
the least I can do, in light of all that you and Agent Scully are up
against. I can't do much else, except
ask for your forgiveness for the past, and allow me into the fold so
that we
may work on a plan to fight what the future may hold.
Her losses, especially, have only worked to
strengthen my resolve in this fight.
"It is
one
thing to
tragically lose a family member, but another matter entirely when you
are
unable to have your own children, due to shit that has been done to
your
person, beyond your control. I am not
expecting either of you to like me, or even be friends with me. All I ask is that you trust me.
I came here because I wanted to extend the
olive branch, so to speak, so that you may finally be able to
understand that I
am here for you, should you need me."
Skinner
looks
at the man
apprehensively, and then blurts, "Scully is pregnant.", before he has
a chance to think about the complications involved with his admission.
Krycek
instantly drops
his cup, causing it to clank across the edge of the table and land on
the
floor; where it shatters into a hundred shards of glass.
"What
did you just say?!"
Skinner-startled
himself
by the loud crash-bites the interior of his cheek to keep from laughing
at
Krycek’s sudden loss of stoicism, as Starr rushes over to clean up the
mess.
"I am
so
sorry! I was…I am so sorry."
Krycek stammers to the waitress, while drying
his right hand with a napkin, and then returning his gaze toward
Skinner; his
emerald eyes ablaze, and his cheeks flaming with embarrassment.
"It is
all
right,
Sir. Would you like a replacement of
your coffee?"
"Um…no. Thank, I'm fine." He
replies, not looking away from the man now
smiling at him from across the table.
As
Starr
walks away,
Skinner’s grin widens at having shocked the man, and then he returns
his
expression to its normal seriousness, to continue with his own
confession.
"She is
pregnant. We found out the morning after
Mulder was taken. We have no idea how,
though she did admit that she and he had tried to use IVF, but that it
had not
taken affect. Believe me; she has
assured me that she was just as surprised to here the news, as you
appear to be
right now. I am the only person who
knows. Now, you are the second. She has not even told her family yet."
"Pregnant? Scully?"
Krycek whispers to himself, believing that if he says it out
loud, what
he is hearing may actually be true.
The
look that
flits
across the younger man’s face causes Skinner’s instincts to perk up,
and he
suddenly recalls several elements of their conversation.
…no
way in
hell I
would have been able to shoot down Scully…
…I
went to
search her
out…
…She
is
special…
"You
really didn't
know, did you?" He questions with a
slight smile upon his face.
Krycek
merely
shakes his
head in the negative, fearful of what may happen if he speaks aloud.
"You
care a
lot
about her, don’t you?"
Krycek’s
eyes
narrow to
slits, as his expression hardens.
"No more than I do anyone else."
Sure,
and
I am the
Pillsbury Dough Boy. Skinner thinks,
before moving to change the
subject. "Is there anything else
you wish to discuss here? Or have you
pretty much laid it all out on the table?"
"There
is one
other
major thing. The rest is relatively minor
and can wait for another time."
"What
would
that
be?"
"I want
you
to
understand that if I had had any inkling at all that
Mulder may
have been at risk of being abducted; I would never have
come
forward with Marita and provided the information I had regarding the
UFO in
Skinner
raises his hand
to put a stop to Krycek’s words.
"I
believe
you,
Alex. In light of what you have provided
me, both verbally and materialistically, I believe that what you have
been
telling me here is the truth."
Krycek
gazes
at the older
man, wide-eyed. Stunned yet again. "You believe
me?" He whispers, unable to even entertain
the
idea that his desire to come clean may have worked in his favor, as he
had
wanted, instead of earning him a bullet just for the sake of posterity.
Skinner
smiles. "Yes.
I do. I’d like to think that I am
a good judge of character, and what you have shown me here tonight, by
coming
forward, raises yours a lot in my eyes.
I understand first hand how manipulative that Cigarette Smoking
Bastard
was. He had his claws into me for quite
awhile, though certainly not to the extent he had them in you. My only question is why did you come to me,
now? Why did you not contact
Scully? I am sure that, being a
fair-minded individual, she would have given you the same opportunity
to speak
your mind that I have."
"I
don’t
think
so. She would have just as soon shot me,
as look at me. At least with you, I had
an advantage." Krycek admits,
glancing down at the machine near Skinner’s left hand.
"Not that I would have used it mind you,
but I could have made you sit here and listen to me. There is nothing I have within my reach to
control how Scully would have acted, not that I would want to control
her, of
course. Especially in light of the
psuedo-truce we made a couple of weeks ago; I most certainly am not
about to
pull a gun on her.
"Not
only
that, but
I am sure she is under enough strain with dealing with Mulder’s
abduction, than
to have to add the weight of my truths regarding my deception over the
years to
the mix. I just can't believe she is
pregnant. God, she must be
thrilled!"
"I
think she
is, but
it is hard to tell at this early stage.
With everything that is happening right now, I don't know that
she has
actually had a chance to sit down and assimilate the ramifications of
what her
doctors have told her. That she is going
to be a mother, despite all of the odds against her."
Krycek
shakes
his head in
awe, delighted that the woman will have her fondest wish granted, but
also
feeling badly about the fact that Mulder is not around to hear the good
news
himself. "So…now what?"
He asks, the sudden realization of holding
something in confidence with the Assistant Director giving him a heady
feeling.
"What
do you
want,
Alex? Do you want me to go to Scully
with the information you have provided here tonight?
Or would you rather join me for that meeting?
It is up to you. The way I see it,
since you have come forward
with the truth, I can forgive you for the deeds you have participated
in over
the last several years. I know firsthand
how controlling Spender could be. Keep
in mind though; this is not coming from me lightly. If I find out that you have done nothing but
bullshit me here, I will not hesitate
to kill you.
"However,
my
instincts tell me that you are being truthful, and that I should give
you
another chance. You have lost a lot
since we met, much like the rest of us, and you have given me a token
of your
word." Skinner reminds Krycek,
pointing to the Palm Pilot. "Thus,
I see no more reason as to why I should doubt what you have confessed,
nor
continue to wish you ill will."
"I
don't
want
Scully to know about me, quite yet. Not
if the shock of my presence could endanger her health.
Not that she is weak, of course, but the
stress of my being around may be a bit more than she needs right now. Therefore, I will simply keep my distance in
the background, and come forward when it is absolutely necessary."
"All
right."
"Now,
can I
ask you
something?" Krycek questions, not
quite trusting that Skinner has forgiven him in such a short period of
time.
"Sure."
"Why?"
"Why
what?"
"Why
are you
doing
this? Why are you willing to allow me
the benefit of the doubt, and give me this chance to prove my loyalty
to you,
and to Mulder and Scully?"
"Alex,
what
you have
just relayed to me was probably to worst thing to ever reach my ears in
twenty
years; next to Dana’s quiet tears after the disappearance of Mulder. For what it is worth, I will even make the
effort to become your friend. God knows
you could probably use one. I know I
could. This shit regarding Mulder’s
abduction has me so damned frustrated, I am ready to take out my gun
and shoot
somebody just for the rush of knowing I hit something tangible. I am fighting a force I can't see. Not to mention the fact that I have someone
else
now to deal with, as well."
"Who
would
that
be?" Krycek asks, too overwhelmed
by the rest of Skinner’s words to ask anything else, for fear he may
just crack
under the strain of the last hour’s conversation, and the drastic
change it has
provided for his future. To allow
himself to believe he has possibly become a friend to the Assistant
Director-a
former mortal enemy-is a lot more than he ever could have hoped for
when he had
sent his e-mail as an informant.
"New
guy. Just transferred in from
"Are
you
fucking
serious?!" Krycek asks,
perplexed. "Scully is getting a new
partner? Mulder has only been gone for
two weeks!"
"I
know, but I;m
not sure that he is there to necessarily replace Mulder.
All I do know is that he is being brought in
to lead the task force."
"What
task
force?"
"The
task
force that
is being formed to find out what exactly happened to Mulder."
"But we
know
what
happened to Mulder!"
Skinner
sighs, his
apparent dislike for his current situation at the office seeping
through his
words. "Yes, we
do. However, the Bureau refuses to believe
that
Mulder was abducted by…aliens. In fact,
Kersh is insinuating that Scully and I are suspects."
"Suspects?! That is absurd!"
"Yes. However, we were the last two people to see
him."
"That
is
ridiculous!"
"I know. It floored me too, but Kersh does not give a
shit what I think. So, this Agent
Doggett is coming aboard anyway, against my wishes."
"Does
Scully
know
about this man?"
"Oh,
hell no. I decided it would be better if
she found out
tomorrow, when Kersh announces Doggett’s arrival. I
wanted to at least spare her one quiet
evening, without making her world collapse.
Again."
"It
sounds to
me
like Kersh has it in for the two of you."
Krycek replies thoughtfully. Then,
with a wicked grin, he deadpans, "So…do you want me to take him out for
you?"
Skinner,
not
expecting
the question being asked of him, bursts into laughter.
"Do not tempt me, Alex, please. Never tempt me with that offer, as I may have
to take you up on it one night. That
sonofabitch is so damn infuriating!"
Krycek
watches the A.D.
with something akin to reverence; not believing he actually made the
man
laugh. "All right, just consider it
an open invitation."
"I’ll
do
that,
now…would you like to have another drink?
I am sure that we could both use one."
"Sure…Sir. It would be my pleasure."
Skinner
starts at the
moniker, and then breaks into a wider grin, before flagging down Starr
to give
her their order.
J.
December
2, 2000
Office
of Walter Skinner - Violent Crimes Unit
8:13
p.m.
"Skinner."
"Hey, it’s
me."
"I am glad
you
called. Are you sure you are okay,
Alex? I was just thinking about
you."
"Walter…I
didn’t
know you cared."
Skinner
smiles at the
smart-ass tone of Krycek’s voice.
"I don't like the idea of you being out and about worrying
about
Mulder, while I actually have the opportunity to see the man. Do you want I should try to approach Dana,
and let her in on…?"
"Walter, stop
it. You know very well how that would
pan out, and how dangerous it would be for her to find out about us at
this
juncture. Don’t worry so damn much, all
right? I am fine. I
am a big boy, and you know I can take
care of
myself. A little bit of melancholy
reflection regarding Mulder is not going to harm me.
Besides, I am sure at some point there will
come a time when I can explain to them what is actually going on; give
them
their truth. Right now, though, I have
something else on my mind."
"What is it?"
"Well, since
I left
the
"I, too, have
the
feeling he may be holding something back, but I am sure it is nothing
to worry
about Alex. It may simply be that the
man is suffering from extreme denial.
What with everything that has transpired over the past few days,
he is
probably just working on figuring out how to get things clear in his
head. Dana was much the same way, in the
beginning. Don't worry about him. I am sure that Agent Doggett is on the up and
up; he is merely having a hard time facing the reality of Mulder being
alive,
as we all are. Are you sure you are all
right, though, other than that?"
"I’m fine,
Walt. I will meet up with you later,
okay?"
"Okay. How about The Irish Isle at say,
nine-forty-five?"
"Sure,
nine-forty-five. I will see you
then. Bye."
"Goodbye,
Alex."
Feeling a
little better
about the situation of his friend, Skinner puts away all of the
miscellaneous
files atop his desk in preparation for the upcoming weekend, and then
he puts
his coat back on for the trip to the hospital.
As he
walks
through the
quiet halls of the Bureau toward the elevator, he ponders over a few
more
issues he knows he has to work through, before much more time can pass.
How
do I
get Dana, and
eventually Mulder, to continue to trust me once they learn I am working
with
Alex? Plus, how do I figure out where
Agents Doggett and Reyes are going to fit into the scheme of everything
going
on, and finally, how can I rid myself of Deputy Director Alvin Kersh?
Why
was I
passed over
for the position of Deputy Director and that idiot given the job? Of course, it was most likely Spender’s
doing. But, it still pisses me off. In fact, it had become abundantly clear to
those of us working on the X-Files that Kersh’s sole purpose was to
oust
Mulder. Then, however, Mulder went
"missing" and Kersh spent both time, and the taxpayers’ money to have
him found.
Which
really makes no
sense at all; if I stop to think about it.
Yet, what happened when Mulder was found? Kersh
was still not happy. What gives?
Now that I think back on it, Mulder’s funeral was actually the
only time
I have seen that miserable excuse for a man at peace!
He even gave his condolences to Dana!
How
sick
is that?
Reaching
his
car, Skinner
makes to push his thoughts aside, and concentrate on the task ahead of
him;
seeing Mulder.
I
hope to
God there
has been a change. If that man spends
the rest of his life in a coma, I will have to shoot somebody.
Grinning
at
the picture
his mind’s eye creates of his bullet entering the soft tissue
surrounding
Kersh’s black heart, Skinner starts his sedan and pulls out of the
parking
garage, turning toward the hospital.
Somewhere
between
8:23
p.m.
I
should
probably call
Agent Doggett. Especially after the
tense conversation we had at the office.
He has had quite a shock. He
thinks, glancing in his rearview mirror. Poor
guy,
he really is
a good agent. A bit too rigid, but a
good agent, nonetheless.
He
laughs at
himself.
To
think I
was
like that merely a scant six months ago!
If only I had believed sooner, than maybe…
He
sighs.
Maybe
I
could have
prevented all of this heartache from happening to Dana in the first
place.
Stopping
for
a red light,
he fishes in his trench coat for his cell phone. Upon
retrieving it he pushes ‘4’ on his speed
dial. The traffic light turns green and
he continues on slowly, as he hears his agent finally answer.
8:25
p.m.
"Agent
Doggett? It is me, Skinner."
"Is
everythin’ all
right, Sir? Agent Scully?
Is she okay?" Doggett asks with
more than a bit of concern
in his voice.
"As far as I
know
everything is fine. I am on my way to
the hospital now, after finishing some business up at the office. I wanted to call to see how you were
doing. To apologize, really.
I didn’t mean to sound so rough in our
conversation earlier."
"Thank you,
Sir. I understand that you are only
tryin’ to help me. I apologize too, for
bein’ so defensive." Doggett
replies rather wearily.
"You have a
right to
be defensive. But you must clearly know
by now, John, we are all on the same side here."
"That is just
what
puzzles me, Sir. What ‘side’ are you
talkin’ about? I didn't realize that
there were any sides. I
thought that we were all fightin’ for Truth, Justice, and the American
way. Now, I'm bein’ bombarded with talk
about government conspiracies and aliens from outer space.
It's a big stretch from bein’ a New York
City Detective.
"I need
facts,
Sir. I need to be able to have somethin’
tangible to hold on to. I appreciate
that just havin’ Agent Mulduh alive, after bein’ buried for three
months, should
be enough, but it isn’t. It just creates
more questions in my mind." Doggett
admits, pouring himself a glass of cold water from his kitchen tap.
Skinner
laughs softly.
"What the
hell is so
funny, Sir? Please let me in on it
because, frankly, I don't understand the joke!" Doggett
retorts, becoming angry once again,
and so soon after arriving home to try and relax from his ordeals of
the day.
"I'm not
laughing
at you, John, so please, calm down. I am
just laughing. I was once right where
you are now. As was Dana.
She always had her faith, and her science to
fall back on. To show her what could or
could not be explained. However, she
still always walked that fine line between believing and not believing. No matter how much she cared about Agent
Mulder, she always felt that unless she had it in her hand, like you,
she would
not believe. Now, she does believe to an
extent. There are still a few things she
has a hard time grasping, as do I, but after seeing that ship the night
we found
Mulder I think she is more of a believer now, than a non-believer. As for myself? I
didn't believe at all. Until I watched it
fly across the sky with my
own eyes. Even Agent Reyes has seen it
John, and you have known her for years.
"So, there
you
are. You have three agents whom you work
with, and have trusted, who are telling you how true these sightings
and
abductions are. Yet, you still don't
want to open your mind to the possibilities.
I don't understand. I really
don’t."
"What do you
want me
to say, Walter? Do you want me to lie to
you? Tell you that I believe in UFOs and
secret government conspiracies made to hide the truth of an alien
existence? One that threatens to
decimate the planet? Granted, I have no
idea how to explain what is goin’ on, but there has to be some sort of
an
answer. One that does not consist of
life from off of this planet!"
Doggett states, growing more tired by the minute and really
wanting to
simply go to bed, and forget about his horrid day.
"No, John,
whatever
you do, never lie to me. Or to
Dana. And especially never lie to Agent
Mulder. The moment you are caught in a
lie, it will be all over for you, among us.
Trust is a huge thing for
Mulder and Scully. If he can't trust you,
than he won't want
you, and neither will she. Listen, John,
we will not condemn you for being a non-believer, but you will have to
give us
the same courtesy, as believers."
Doggett
ponders this
statement for a second. He is tired, so
very tired, but he relents; if only to be able to go to bed. "All right, I will. I
will continue to work on the X-Files in the
same capacity as I have been for the past six months.
I will respect your beliefs, as lon' as you
continue to respect mine. Whatever
happens? Happens."
"Good. Now I am about to pull in at the
hospital to
see Mulder. Is there any message you
wish for me to give to Dana?"
"Yes. Tell her that I am happy for her
that Mulduh
will live. Tell her I'm here for her if
she needs anythin’."
"Okay, I will
do
that. I'll call you in the morning
with an update."
"All right."
As Doggett
disconnects,
he lays his head back against his couch; tired, confused, and lonely.
Now,
more
than ever.
Living
alone in D.C. had been rough on me at first. No
wife, no son, and no friends. I had begun
to feel a certain…closeness to
Scully over the past three months, since the funeral.
A closeness that I didn't think would have
been possible, had Mulder been found alive.
We
sure have come a long way, since that cup of water she
had thrown in my face on the day we met.
He
smiles a
sad smile as
he closes his eyes, and remembers.
After
the
funeral of
Special Agent Fox Mulder, most everyone who had attended the ceremony
decided
to join Agent Scully at her apartment, for an impromptu gathering to
celebrate
the life of the man they had admired.
I
had made
it a point to
be available to Dana at any time, because I knew from experience she
would need
someone to comfort her and to help her through, not only her great loss
of
Agent Mulder, but also with her difficult pregnancy.
I
had so
wanted to be
that person…
Depew
Gardens Apartment Homes
August
14, 2000
12:02
p.m.
"How are you
holdin’
up, Agent Scully?" Doggett asks,
now that he has been given a chance to get the petite woman alone in
the
kitchen.
"As
well as
can be
expected, Agent Doggett. Thank you for
asking."
"I
wanted to
let you
know that if you ever need anythin’ at all, day or night, that you can
call
me. Especially with your…well…with
everythin’ you are dealin’ with."
"Thank
you,
but I
believe I will be all right."
"I am
sure
you will
be, Agent Scully. I just…I have some
experience when it comes to losin’ someone you love, and I really would
hate to
think of you needin’ to talk to someone at say…one in the mornin’, and
feelin’
as though you can’t. So, I thought I
would let you know that it would be okay."
"All
right, I
will
keep your invitation in mind."
Within
the
next three
months, she had finally started to open up to me. She
spent a lot of time with A.D. Skinner,
going to Lamaze classes and buying baby furniture.
However, she had also started to talk to me,
John Jay Doggett, as a real person,
not solely as her law enforcement partner, and she told me about a lot
of the
adventures, as she calls them, that she had been on with Agent Mulder.
It
had
felt so damn
good to be so…trusted.
September
22, 2000
8:14
p.m.
"No…I
can’t
say as I
recall ever hearin’ about a ‘Rain Kin’’, Dana."
"It was
quite
funny,
really. Mulder and I were called out to
the
"What
was he? Some guy who would go up and seed
the
clouds?"
"No, he
would
perform a ritualistic ‘rain dance’. It
was quite amusing, actually."
"I
don’t see
anythin’ amusin’ about makin’ rain. Why
did you find it funny? I am sure that,
what with that scientific mind of yours, you thought it was a bunch of
mumbo-jumbo."
"I must
admit
I
certainly had my doubts. I even
expressed them to Mulder, who listened to me quite patiently; all the
while we
were watching the Rain King dance. I
tried to tell him that I felt it was simply a waste of our time, until
the
weirdest thing happened."
"What
was
that?"
"It
began to
rain."
"Are
you
serious?" Doggett asks with an
arched eyebrow-learned from his partner.
Scully
smiles. "Oh yes, quite serious. It
poured buckets of water right out of the clear
blue sky."
"So, I
take
it that
means he-the Rain Kin’ wasn’t a fraud?"
"No, he
was. We found out all the ways in which he
had
been committing his crimes against the local people, but what I will
always
remember is the look on Mulder’s face when it had rained.
He had looked so…happy."
Or, the
time Agent
Mulder had asked her to meet him at a house that was supposedly haunted, on Christmas Eve…
October
5, 2000
7:17
p.m.
"You
went to
a
haunted house for Christmas? Isn’t that
more of a thin’ to do at Halloween, Dana?"
Doggett inquires, reaching up to apply a black witch window
cling to the
front window in Scully’s living room.
"This
house
was
special and required your presence for Christmas. Mulder
had called me out to meet him along a
dark road near this old mansion on Christmas Eve. I
had just finished my shopping and should
have been headed home to wrap gifts, for the gathering at my Mom’s the
next
morning, but Mulder seemed so eager, I couldn't help but to catch his
enthusiasium."
"So you
went
inside?"
"Oh yes. We went inside and had a thrill, to say the
least. He and I encountered an old
couple of spirits bent on turning us against each other-all in the name
of
love."
"Love? Ghosts?
I thought you didn’t believe in such things, Dana."
"I
believe in
a lot
of things, John. Now.
Of course, at that time I could never allow
Mulder to know; I would have never heard the end of it."
Scully states with a sad grin.
"So,
what
came of
your adventure?"
"I
learned
that one
should never place less important things-like work-above the more
important
things-like family and friends. That I
should live a little."
Then there
was the
genie incident. She still can't believe
it about that one, herself, but Agent Mulder had, and that had been
enough for
her...
Starbuck’s
Coffee Shop
November
2, 2000
11:14
a.m.
"The
what?" Doggett inquires, taking a
drink from his own Expresso.
"The
jinn. Or 'Jenn', as Mulder called her.
She was a genie."
"Nope,
can’t
say I
have heard it."
‘It’s a
rather amusing
adventure Mulder and I had this past spring, just before…actually, now
that I
think about it, that was our last case before…Oregon.
God, how I wish that woman was here
now." Scully admits wistfully,
rubbing her hands absently over her swollen abdomen.
"What
woman?" Doggett asks, hoping to
lift Scully from her pensive mood.
"Oh,
I’m
sorry." Scully replies with a
slight blush. "She was supposedly a
woman who had been transformed into a genie in fifteenth century
"Mulder
and I
had
gone out to investigate the claim of a man in Missouri-Jay Gilmore-who
stated
that his former employee had caused his mouth to disappear."
"His
mouth? Disappeared?"
"Yes. You should have seen him, John.
It was…freaky. He had to have his
face surgically repaired
to have his mouth replaced. His surgeons
wrote up a piece about it in the New England Journal of Medicine. Quite fascinating from a doctor’s standpoint.
"Anyway,
Mulder and
I flew to
"Their
what?"
Scully
chuckles. "Their yacht.
See, it-the yacht-was the second wish of
Anson Stokes. He was the former employee
of Jay Gilmore. His first wish had been
for his boss to shut up. Hence, the
disappearing mouth."
"What
was the
guy’s
third wish?" Doggett asks,
incredulously.
"To be
invisible." Scully beams.
"Listen to this…"
It was
during these
times that she would have my undivided attention. She
seemed to come alive when she spoke of
her dead partner, and I had not felt threatened.
Not
then.
Agent
Mulder was dead
and buried. No one should feel
threatened by a dead man. It is
ludicrous.
Of
course,
it has also
been during the past three months that I found myself falling in love
with
her. Yet, I
never could get around to telling her how I
feel. She was still grieving the loss of
Agent Mulder, and I had thought it would be inappropriate to mention my
own
feelings for her. Therefore, I simply
listened to her sweet voice as she told her tales.
Except,
right about
the time I was thinking I could actually let her know my feelings for
her, we
learned about Billy Miles; and Skinner had Mulder exhumed.
Doggett
sighs, opens his
eyes and stares at the ceiling.
This
is
insanity! Aliens, conspiracies, and now
dead men
rising? What next?
He
pulls
himself up from
his couch and walks around, checking the doors and windows, making sure
they
are secure, and then he shuffles into his bedroom on the second floor.
As he
starts
to undress,
he places his weapon on the nightstand next to his cherry four post bed. Very masculine, yet comfortable.
He pulls the covers down, turns off the light
and climbs in. He grabs an extra pillow
and pulls it to his chest, for comfort.
He then
silently weeps
for what-in his mind-could have been.
Near
December
2, 2000
8:50
p.m.
As
soon as
I can, I
will have to approach Dana about Agent Doggett.
Though I am
the
one who has practically taken over the ‘father’ role in this pregnancy,
I know
she has started to spend a lot of her time with him.
That, in and of itself, is not necessarily a
bad thing. I am sure it has done wonders
for the foundational strength of their partnership.
However,
considering
the feelings he now harbors for her, she really should broach the
subject with
him, soon. Let him down easy.
I just hope he will be able to remain within
the X-Files. His sharp mind is one asset
I would hate to lose around the division, and certainly because of the
love of
a woman.
Of
course,
than there
are Dana’s actions to consider.
She has changed so much in the past three
months, since the funeral. She has an
even harder time trusting anyone-especially now. It
amazes me that she is closer to
John. Not to mention how much she has
also begun to act like Mulder.
What
is
sardonically
amusing, though?
She
doesn't see it
for herself. Yet, I do.
This,
also, is why I
have never had the chance to tell her about Alex. I
can see that she blames him for Mulder’s
disappearance. For her, if it had not
been for the information he discussed with all of us on that fateful
night in
my office with the Gunmen, Mulder would have never left.
He
would
still be his
normal, paranoid self. He would
have been there when she found out she was expecting.
He would have been there to take her
to Lamaze classes. He would have
been the one taking her to the furniture store; picking out a crib and
mobile
for the baby. He would have been
the one who had escorted her to the obstetrician to hear the child’s
heartbeat
for the first time.
Not me,
Walter
Skinner.
According
to her, if Alex
had not come forward, none of this would have happened.
Despite
the fact, as I
have tried to explain to Alex-and Dana-Mulder most likely would have
left,
anyway. The temptation of actually
finding the ship being too great for him to stay.
Always,
Mulder has
felt the need to find the answers, even if it meant leaving Dana behind.
Even
though it has
nearly killed me-watching the toll Mulder’s absence took on Dana-and
Alex-I
knew Mulder would leave; because of his constant urge to seek the
truth, all of
this shit may have still happened.
With
or
without Alex’
information.
With
or
without
Mulder’s knowledge of the child Dana now carries.
As a
result, she has
now turned to John Doggett- in friendship.
Ironically, John would not be here if it were not
for Mulder’s
abduction. John is a lot like she was-in
the way that he needs facts to believe in something.
What is paradoxical, too, is that John has
somehow become the old Scully, while she has become the old Mulder. This probably accounts for the closeness that
they now share.
She
was
able to
finally turn to someone who could understand how she had felt all those
years
as a skeptic, and bounce off theories the way Mulder had to her,
somehow making
her feel closer to Mulder-by filling the role he had left.
That
is,
until a week
ago…
"No
problem, Walt. What’s up?
You sounded quite antsy when you
called." Alex states, walking into
the penthouse, and taking a seat on the couch in the living room.
"I
just received a call from
Parking
Garage
December
2, 2000
8:58
p.m.
I
know
that what I
have done with regard to Mulder has been the right thing.
Even if it did cause an imbalance with the
current routine that Dana’s life has become.
I
could
not-would
not-have been able to forgive myself had I not checked, after hearing
about
Billy. I had to be absolutely certain,
beyond any doubt, that Mulder had in fact been dead when buried.
I
will
never, for the
rest of my days, forget the feeling that came over me when the coroner
announced that Mulder was-impossibly-alive. Oh
the joy
that news
has brought Dana! That, in and of
itself, makes it all worthwhile. But
now, what about Doggett?
Shit,
what
about Alex?
Skinner
parks
his car in
the garage at the hospital, and as he is walking to the elevator, he
becomes aware
of the spot on the floor that marks where the vial Alex had had been
dropped. The liquid itself has
evaporated, but he can see where it had fallen by the shards of glass
surrounding what used to be a small puddle.
He feels a pang of guilt at the sight, and hurries his step.
Damn,
I really
need to talk to Dana. I am confident she
will be able to come to terms with everything that has happened, now
that
Mulder is back and safely recuperating under her watchful eye. She should, with any hope, be more receptive
to my explanation, no matter how difficult it will be to hear.
Or
believe.
Let
John
think what he
must, for the time being. Getting Dana
to listen to me about Alex is of a bit more of a concern, than John
being
pissed off about the struggle he had encountered with Alex over that
vial.
As he
walks
through the
hospital and approaches the room where Mulder is staying, he stops at
the
Nurse's station to inquire about the condition of the man he worked so
hard to
have placed in the medical facility.
"Hello. I am Assistant Director Walter Skinner of the
FBI. I was wondering if you could tell
me how Special Agent Mulder is faring?"
The
pretty
blonde behind
the desk looks up at him, and he notes her nametag reads ‘K. White’.
"He is
doing
a lot
better than he was when he first arrived, Sir.
His doctor is with him right now, but I am sure you can go in
and see
him."
"Thank
you,
Nurse
White."
"You’re
welcome. But please, call me
Kathy."
"Okay,
Kathy. Thank you."
Skinner
walks
the short
distance to Room two-twelve. He pushes
the door open, and smiles. I
knew
that the
"doctor" in question would be none other than; Doctor Dana Scully.
"Hi,
Doctor
Scully. How is your patient doing this
evening?" He asks, sending her a
smile.
Scully
looks
up from the
chair she is sitting in, and smiles at him in return.
She then looks back at Mulder and slightly
nods, causing Skinner to turn his gaze away from her, toward the bed.
"I am
doing a
lot
better, now that I am officially back among the living."
Mulder says quietly, his voice causing him
some slight agitation from lack of use.
Skinner
stares at him in
utter shock.
Mulder
grins. "So…how you been, Walter?"
A smile
spreads across
Skinner’s face as he, uncharacteristically, scurries over to the bed,
leans
down and carefully grabs Mulder into an embrace; not bothering to hide
his
tears of joy at seeing his friend actually awake and talking.
Then he
breaks down,
overcome with emotion, and sobs.
"I am
so
sorry,
Mulder! I am so sorry.
I didn't mean to let you down. I'm
so glad to be talking to you. To see
you alive and getting
better." He confesses, squeezing
the younger man even tighter.
"Hey,
there. It's okay. It's
very nice to see you, too!
Thank you for following your hunch.
I realize it must have taken a lot of guts on your part to dig
me
up." Mulder replies, trying to keep
from crying himself. He pushes Skinner
away a little, and smiles up at him.
"Not a
problem, my
friend. I would do it again in a
heartbeat." Skinner reiterates,
returning Mulder’s grin, before glancing at Scully once more.
Scully
smiles
at the
little exchange between two of her best and dearest friends. With tears spilling silently down the cheeks
of her face, she can only look between the two men, and grin, as she is
afraid
the image before her will disappear if she moves.
"How
long
have you
been awake?" Skinner asks,
hurriedly wiping his eyes.
"I have
been
stirring here and there. When I woke the
first time, I thought I had died and gone to Heaven, as I saw Scully’s
angelic
face looking down at me." He
admits, turning again toward his right to grin at her.
"Oh,
Mulder,
please. You are embarrassing
me." Scully laughs, blushing a
little, still thrilled by the fact that he is even here in her presence. Though, she still believes he hasn't noticed
her condition of pregnancy, she is a bit nervous to stand up;
especially now
that he is fully awake.
When
he
was
unconscious being his doctor was easy, but now I feel…odd.
She
continues
to watch
her two friends chat for awhile, catching up on scores regarding the
Knicks,
and how Skinner has started branching out socially.
She watches in silence as he explains that he
likes to hang out at a little Irish pub, and stare at the cute
redheaded owner.
Shit! I have to use the damn bathroom!
She suddenly
realizes, wondering how she can accomplish the feat, without bringing
attention
to herself from Mulder. She stands,
while Mulder is looking the other way, and beckons to Skinner with a
nod.
"Walter,
can
you
come over here a moment?"
"’Walter’,
huh?" Mulder questions with a smile. "You two certainly seem to have gotten
close in my absence. Is there anything I
should know about?" He teases,
unable to keep from smiling in a lop-sided way.
"Mulder,
I
see that
even an alien abduction and pseudo-death haven’t killed that sense of
humor of
yours." Skinner remarks, as he
leaves the bedside.
"Why,
Mister
Mulder,
I am glad to see you have awoken."
A short Japanese man interrupts; suddenly appearing in the
doorway.
Skinner
takes
this moment
to walk around the bed-and block Scully from Mulder’s view. He knows what her predicament is, having been
around her constantly for the past few months; he can see she has to go
to the
restroom. I
wonder
why she is
trying to hide her condition from him?
"Who
are
you?" Mulder asks, more than a
little nervous by how quietly the man beside him showed up in his room.
As
Skinner
approaches
Scully, she bends over slightly before rising to her full height.
As she starts walking toward the bathroom he walks alongside
her, and
leans over just a bit, in effect blocking her profile from Mulder.
"I am
Doctor
Lim. I was asked by Doctor Scully to
come over from
"Nice
to meet
you. Hey, where are you going,
Scully?" Mulder asks, turning his
attention away from the man before him, now unable to see Scully, and
curious
as to why Skinner is keeping such a close proximity to her.
How
odd
that they are
standing so close.
He swiftly dismisses the thought, however, as
he returns his attention to the new doctor.
They
are
close
friends. Quit being paranoid.
"I am
only
going to
the restroom, but I wanted to fill Walter in on the tests Doctor Lim
was just
telling you about." She answers;
confident Skinner’s broad body is blocking everything from Mulder’s
view,
except her face. Then an idea strikes
her.
"Would
you
like me
to call the Gunmen, Mulder?"
God
how I
have missed
you!
"Scully, sometimes you are too much!" Mulder
replies, still smiling at her as he
returns to his conversation with Doctor Lim.
"How are the tests coming, Doctor?"
"Fine,
Mister
Mulder. We should have more results for
you by the morning, but your prognosis is very good.
It really is great to see that you are
awake. I will leave you now,
though. I really must be getting
home."
"Well,
it was
nice
meeting you."
"You
too,
finally. Good night, Mister Mulder. Good night to you, too, Doctor Scully."
Scully
nods
at the man as
he walks toward the main door, and then grabs her cell phone from her
pocket. Walking as straight as possible,
Scully reaches for the handle of the bathroom door, and opens it. Skinner then leaves her side to wish the
doctor good night, as well.
Unfortunately,
forgetting
how long his legs are compared to hers-thus, his stride is greater-as
he
watches Doctor Lim leave the room, he unintentionally leaves her
exposed to
Mulder’s view, without even realizing it.
Until
it is
too late.
He
catches
the surprised
look on Mulder’s face, and stops dead in his tracks. Shit,
now
what? How will he take this?
"Scully?" Mulder asks.
Jesus, turn around! I need to
see if I was imagining what I just saw!
She
stops. Shit! He can't find out,
not yet.
I am not ready!
"Yes,
Mulder?" She asks turning her head,
but not her body, with her cell phone placed against her ear. I must look absolutely ridiculous, going
to the bathroom on the phone.
"Is there anything wrong?"
He
scrutinizes her,
slowly.
I
know
that she is
hiding something from me. I have not
been gone that long. There is no
comparison, between eight years versus six months, though it had felt
like an
eternity-at least to her. For me
however, I can't remember my experience very well.
Yet, it is as though I never left. Therefore
I
am
still as sharp as a tack when it comes to reading her body language.
He
peers at
her a second
more, and then replies, "No, I
guess not. I was just wondering if you
are okay. You look a bit, I don’t
know…troubled."
"I am
trying
to get
a hold of the Gunmen. I want to let them
know that you are now awake, though I still have a hard time believing
it
myself."
"Ever
the
non-believer, I see." He teases,
feeling at ease once more. Maybe I am
just imagining things.
"Mulder,
you
would
be amazed at what I believe in, now."
She quips, walking into the restroom.
Alas her angle, unbeknownst to her, allows him to see what she
has tried
so hard to hide. She slowly closes the
door behind her, missing his face-and his reaction.
Oh
my God! Scully is pregnant!
But…wait
a
minute?
How?
Mulder
throws
a glare
toward Skinner, and the effect of Fox Mulder's surprise is not lost on
him. He merely smiles, tightly.
What
am I
supposed to
say? ‘Oh by the way, Mulder, you’re
going to be a daddy?’ Her pregnancy is
something that she must discuss with him, not me. It
is not my place!
Which,
of
course, does
not help his comfort level any. Feeling
Mulder still
staring at him, Skinner shifts his eyes away, knowing to do otherwise
would
cause him to say something he may later regret.
She
called
you
‘Walter’.
You
were
standing so
close to her.
What
the
hell is going
on? What has happened since I have been
away?
Oh
shit, I
think I
would rather go back in the box, six feet under.
Mulder
closes
his eyes,
unable to continue to look at the man in front of him-now.
He feels very betrayed, and tries desperately
to keep the images from penetrating his mind.
The images of her with Skinner.
Together.
Not
that
she was mine
in the first place, but, oh this is just too fucking much!
"Mulder?" Skinner asks quietly, demanding to keep the
suddenly tense air of the room from suffocating him.
I must say something, right now, or I will
have to deal with an even bigger issue later.
Lord
knows
I have
enough issues to deal with, already.
"Mulder,
it is not what you think.
Dana
must be the one to talk to you about it."
"Dana? Oh, so now you and she are on a first name
basis? When the fuck did that
happen?" Mulder hisses, turning a
hard gaze onto his longtime friend.
"Mulder
cut
the
crap! You know very well I have been
calling her ‘Dana’ for a couple of years now.
Although I will admit, yes, it comes more freely from my mouth
since our
friendship has developed into something more personal than
professional, over
the past few months. You are just going
to have to deal with it. However,
Mulder, you must listen to me. It truly
is a miracle." He pauses for a
response and, upon not receiving one, ends with, "That
is all I am going to say."
Mulder,
of
course being Mulder,
takes this statement the wrong way.
"Why
did you
exhume
me? How come you didn't just leave me
there in the cold, hard dirt of
Shit,
he
is wigging
out more than I thought he would. He is
definitely going to need to understand.
I guess being the ‘caring friend’ to him is not going to work at
the
moment. "Mulder,
stop
being
an asshole! Do you actually hear
yourself? Good God, what the hell is the
matter with you? Just listen to her. Let her explain it to you."
"Oh yes. This ought to be very interesting, I am
sure. Sir.
Now, will you please leave? Let's
just call it a night, shall
we?" He asks, turning away to face
the opposite wall. This is not
happening!
Skinner
realizes he is
being a bit harsh, but he also knows that Mulder has no right at all to
lay
there, and accuse him of something that he would never do.
Not to him, and certainly not to Dana.
"She is
more
like a
sister to me, not a love interest!
Besides, she is an adult. If she
wants to be with someone, it will be her choice. Not
mine.
Moreover, I am not about to start arguing with you about the
child,
either.
"I
would
rather wait
until Dana comes out of the bathroom to make my leave.
On the other hand, not wanting to upset you
any further, though you are clearly in the wrong to be upset, I will do
as you
ask."
Skinner
walks
to the end
of the bed and looks at his old friend with anguish in his heart,
and
pain clearly showing from his eyes.
"Please,
just
listen
to her before you pass judgment on me, or anyone else."
He then turns and walks to the bathroom door,
tapping lightly. "Dana, I am
leaving now. Call me when you get home. I want to know how you are holding up."
"Okay,
Walter. Have a nice evening."
Scully
replies through the door.
I
certainly hope she
has heard none of the conversation that has just taken place.
Mulder
listens to their
exchange, and wants to crawl back into the hole he had been excavated
from. I feel as though my world is
falling apart, and I have only been awake for less than two hours! He keeps his eyes closed so as to refrain
from watching Skinner leave.
Skinner
stares at him
with sad, but knowing eyes and walks out, partially closing the door
behind
himself. He
will be
fine
tomorrow.
Skinner hopes, as he walks passed the Nurse’s Station, up the
hallway
and out to the parking garage.
On his
way home he contemplates the predicament he now finds himself.
I
guess I
will just
have to wait until I hear from Dana. She
will make him understand. She always
does. Shit! I forgot to give her John’s
message. Well, I am sure they, too, will
talk tomorrow
morning.
If
Mulder
hasn’t
absolutely run her through the mill, that is.
Scully,
finished in the
bathroom, nervously stands just inside the door; pondering what to do
next.
How
am I
going to get
passed Mulder’s eyes, and back to my seat?
Why am I so shy all of a sudden?
I want so much for the baby to be a surprise, and for Mulder to
be
happy. But, how will he react? I will be devastated if it is in any way
other than positive.
"Mulder?" She asks quietly, through the door.
"Mulder?" She calls again a little louder, after
receiving no response.
Again,
nothing.
She
opens the
door slowly
and peeks around it. She looks at his
still handsome, albeit injured, face and notices that his eyes are
closed.
He
is so
peaceful when
he is asleep. Why didn’t I put my foot
down and insist that he not leave for
Kind
of
ironic,
really, that I hate hospitals.
Considering I am a doctor.
You're
a
doctor for
the dead, Dana.
Now
you
get technical?
She
shakes
her head to
clear her mind, and then quietly opens the door the rest of the way,
turns off
the light, and starts to walk back through the room to her chair. She gazes over at his monitors, making sure
that his readings are still acceptable.
His
heart
rate is a
bit high, but that might be from being overwhelmed at seeing Walter.
She
sits down
and takes
his right hand into her left. I don't
want to disturb you while you sleep, but I have just got to touch
you. I need to know that you are truly
here, and
not simply another dream like the ones that have plagued me for so many
months.
Mulder,
having watched
her exit the bathroom, keeps his eyes open just enough to appear to be
sleeping.
I
was
right. She is pregnant.
Very.
She must have turned to Skinner right after I left.
I can understand her need for comfort-on some
primal level. But, to actually get
pregnant? How?
She is barren. The Invitro didn't
work in '97. That had been her last chance! Or was it?
Oh
God,
why couldn’t
You have simply let me die, for real? I
can't handle this. Why is this
happening to me?
A
single tear
escapes
him, as he lies in his own personal torment, with her hand inside of
his. Torment he refuses to realize is
unfounded. He has only been awake from
his ordeal for a few hours, and he already wishes sleep would reclaim
him.
The
idea of
the timing
regarding the child has not yet seeped into his mind.
All he sees is a very pregnant Dana
Scully. The best friend he has loved for
so long.
Lost
forever to another man.
He
involuntarily squeezes
her hand in anguish.
"Mulder?" She asks with alarm, noticing both the tear
on his cheek, and his heart rate rising again on the monitor.
He
must be
having a
nightmare about what had happened to him.
She
thinks, when he doesn't answer.
She
does not
realize that
he isn't actually asleep, so she stands up and walks to the monitor,
exposing
herself to his eyes. In doctor mode now,
she misses his head following her, as she becomes engrossed in
observing the
equipment readings.
His
heart
rate has
indeed risen. Damn, I should have had
Doctor Lim look over his readings before he left. Give
me a fresh perspective as to what I
might be dealing with here, now that Mulder is no longer comatose.
"When
were
you going
to tell me, Scully? When?
After the child was born? When I am
released from this damn hospital,
and have to watch you be with…with Skinner?" He
asks, not able to hold onto his tears any
longer.
She
jumps at
the sound of
his voice, severely startled.
He
gazes at
her with sad
and haunted hazel eyes. The tears brim,
then fall down the sides of his face, and he turns away.
Jesus,
Mulder! What is wrong?
She
reaches
for the side
bar of the bed, struggling to keep her balance. What
did
he just say
to me?
She
can't bear it.
His words to her.
Oh
my God! I mustn’t cry.
Why
would he say that to me?
"Oh,
Mulder. There are so many things I want to
tell you,
no, need to tell you."
He
turns
toward her once
more, mindless of the tears that are streaming down his face, and
gathering
like at the tip of his chin.
"Tell
me. Tell me now, so that you can get the
burden
of me off of you, and then you can go and have that normal life you
have always
wanted. As it appears to me you have
indeed found a man with a spotless genetic makeup, and are starting to
pump out
the little Uberscullies."
He says
this
last, with a
bit more harshness than he had intended.
Yet he really can't help himself.
His hurt is too great.
She,
however,
becomes incensed. Until a powerful
realization hits her, and
she has to grip the bar of the bed tighter, to keep from dropping like
a stone
to the cold tiled floor.
He
thinks
this baby is
Walter’s. Oh no! The
torment he must be feeling! That explains
the erratic heart rate on the
monitor. I have got to straighten this
out. Now!
"Mulder,
listen to
me." She says, very quietly, but
sternly.
He has
turned
away from
her again, knowing that she can't easily walk into his field of vision. He wants to hear her talk, but can't tolerate
looking in her eyes. To see
that he is right about his assessment of the situation.
Seeing
any
light for him,
gone.
"Mulder. Look at me.
Please! There is something that I
must tell you, and I refuse to do it to the back of your head. Nor am I going to waddle to the other side of
this bed. Please, Mulder."
He
reluctantly turns back
toward her. He still has tears in his
eyes, and he doesn't bother with trying to raise his hand to wipe them
away.
"Why,
Scully? Why did you bring me back?
Why did you care enough to cure me, if you
were only going to hurt me?"
Scully
holds
on to the
bar for dear life, but she can still feel the floor falling out from
under her
because of his words.
Damn
it, I
have got to
make it back to that damn chair, before I fall down.
She
starts
walking back
around the bed, all the while holding onto the railings, and she stares
at him
as she does. Square in the eyes. Pissed off almost beyond reason, until she
finally stands in front of the chair beside him, and gives him her
undivided
attention.
"Fox
William
Mulder! You think I would do this-help
you to heal-only to hurt you again? Have
you any idea what your absence has done to me?" She questions, working hard to keep her voice
from rising.
"Can
you imagine
the torture I have had to endure being pregnant and
alone, while
doing nothing but cry, and want to die inside because of the unknown? Not knowing whom to trust?
Not knowing where to go; how to find you?
"Then,
after
three
months, finally finding you dead in a field in
"If it
were
not for
this child, Mulder, I would have died right there in that field beside
you. It would not have taken but three
seconds for me to pull out my gun, and squeeze the trigger. To put a pain-ending bullet into my
brain. I wanted to; oh God only knows
how much I wanted to! The agony I felt
was almost too much to endure!
"However,
I
knew you
would never have forgiven me. Not for
taking the easy way out. For letting Them
win. So instead, I dealt with the pain and
turned all of my energies into caring for this baby.
Making sure that I ate right and didn't push
myself too hard.
"The
past
three
months were agony after your funeral. I
didn't know how I was going to go on.
To raise this child alone in a fucked up world, where those you
care
about are taken from you for unknown, unexplainable reasons. Impossible reasons." She pauses to catch her breath.
"Then I got The Call. The call that
you were, in reality, alive."
Mulder
reaches for her
hand. Unable to tolerate seeing the pain
on her face, the tears in her eyes.
She
pulls
away and sits
down, looking away from him-overwhelmed.
"Scully
please calm
down. I don't want to argue with
you. Not you. Not
now.
We have both been through a traumatizing ordeal.
I didn't take into consideration how this
must have affected you, as well as me."
"Ever
the one
to
think about yourself, right Mulder?"
She retorts, understanding she is being a bitch, but at this
point not
caring.
I
can't
believe that
the evening has progressed to…this. What
the hell is going on?
"It
affected
us,
Mulder. Us." She turns then, and gazes into his eyes. Wondering if he has finally grasped the truth
of what she has been trying to convey to him.
Why she had not killed herself, upon reaching his dead body.
"I can
understand,
if you had to turn to Walter for comfort.
I really can. It is just, such a
shock to me. I mean, Walter Skinner? To see you in a womanly way, knowing it was
said to be impossible?"
Apparently
he is
getting better; back to his old self again, in fact.
He is still an arrogant egomaniac who thinks
he can simply calm me down using a few soft words.
Boy, does he have a few things to learn about
the new Dana Scully. Scully seethes to
herself, profoundly
hurt. Nevertheless, she can't get
passed her anger.
"Never
give
up on a
miracle." She recalls, flatly.
"What?" He asks, at a loss as to what she means.
"You
once
told me to
‘Never give up on a miracle’, Mulder."
"So? What?
Skinner was your miracle?"
He retorts, snidely. This is
getting out of hand! At what point in
our relationship, after everything we have been through; at
what point
did I turn into such an asshole as to send her a remark like
that?
She
gapes at
him
furiously. More so now, if that is even
possible, than she was two scant minutes before. In
anger she starts to smile, and then laugh.
"You
dear,
sweet,
highly educated, but narcissistic man!
This child is not Walter’s! Haven’t you been listening to me?
He and I are only friends, albeit closer friends
since you have been away, but that is all we are! Friends!
He has helped me out-a lot-in the past few months. Even going so far as to attend Lamaze classes
with me! He also helped me to turn my
second bedroom into a nursery! But none
of his help had to do with him having a desire to be with me. He cares for me, as he has always cared for
me, Mulder. As a friend, or a
sister."
Mulder
turns
away
again. "I am sorry, Scully.
I just assumed it was him. Will you
please go now? I don’t know if I can
handle any more enlightenment
this evening."
Oh
my God! He is thick, isn’t he? For
a man with an
"I will
not!" She replies, forcefully.
He
turns his
head to her
again, surprised by her tone of voice.
"Please,
Scully." He actually begs.
"No. Not until you hear what I have to say,
Mulder. Something that is important,
something I, myself, can't even begin to explain.
It goes beyond my medical expertise and
comprehension, not that your even being here has not
done that to
me, as well. This child that I am
growing inside of me, which God somehow felt I miraculously deserved to
have,
belongs to the man that I never had the guts to say, ‘I love you’ to. The man that was sweet enough at one time to
give of
himself for the chance at giving me a child.
That man is you, Mulder.
You. This child is yours. Ours." She admits, while going still, waiting for
his reaction. Praying it will be the
joyous one she has only dreamed about, when she was not being plagued
by dreams
and nightmares of aliens, bounty hunters, and green-eyed assassins. She is well aware it will not change anything
between them.
We
will only remain the best of
friends. Nonetheless, I hope he will be
happy about the situation, knowing the child is his.
His
gift to me.
It
takes
quite a few
moments for him to comprehend. To
process in his still slightly confused state what she has just admitted.
"Mine? How
could it
possibly be mine, Scully? We never even…" He trails off, the memories flooding his mind
of their night together. Their only
night.
"Oh my
God."
Suddenly,
he
bursts into
laughter. However, it is not the kind of
laughter one has after hearing a funny joke, but the gut-wrenching,
side-splitting, jerk-the-tears-right-out-of-you type of laughter, and
he can't
stop once he begins.
What
the
hell is wrong
with him? I just informed him of the
best news of my entire life. News that I
have waited for six months to tell him, and he is
laughing as
though he were a certified lunatic!
"Mulder?" She asks when he has calmed down, albeit not
much, but enough to get a word in edgewise.
"Mulder?" She repeats when he fails to answer her. "Just what, in God’s name is so damn
funny?"
He
abruptly
stops, and
turns his eyes toward her. They are
moist from his laughing attack, but there is something else, something
about
them which does not sit well with her-at all.
They
are bitter.
Ice
cold.
What
the hell is wrong with him?!
"Yes, Dana?" He asks, softly. Too
softly.
His use
of
her first
name-in such a light no less-unnerves her.
"What
is the
matter
with you? I just told you that you are
about to be a father, and you feel the sudden urge to laugh
hysterically? Possibly causing more harm
to your body, than
it already has endured Laughing
like…." She can't go on.
Not when he keeps staring at her with those
hazel ice chips.
She
feels her blood run
arctic.
Jesus,
I
have got to
get out of here! Out of this room, this
hospital, Hell the
Somewhere…safe.
Safe? I need to run to feel safe?
From Mulder?
She
starts
shaking, not
wanting to believe for an instant that the man in front of her could
possibly
be looking at her the way he has been.
"Mulder?"
"Any
other
bombs you
want to drop on me? Dana?"
"Why
are you
so
cold? Why are you acting this
way?" She inquires quietly,
cautiously. Why the hell does he keep
calling me "Dana"? She
also wonders, as she starts weeping-on the inside.
On the outside she is fuming; both from his
response, and her reaction to his retort.
Damn
hormones!
Leave,
Dana. Just…leave.
Fighting
very
hard to
keep from breaking down, Scully's fight or flight instinct tells her to
get out
while she still can, or risk losing something most precious to her. Though, she is unable to define exactly which
she might lose first: Her friendship
with Mulder. Or her sanity.
"I
don’t
know,
Dana. This ‘news’ seems to be a bit too
much for me to believe at the present moment."
"What? That you are going to be a father?" She asks calmly, clasping her hands together
to keep from smacking some sense into the man.
He
continues
to stare
into her eyes. "That I am
the father."
She
gapes at
him, shocked
at his words and can't comprehend that he has actually said them. She doesn't know this cold, uncaring,
Mulder. Nor does she care to get to know
him.
Did
I not
just explain
it to him?
Time
to
go, Dana.
Reaching
a
decision, she
stands and picks up her trench coat.
Glancing at his monitors one more time-out of habit-she walks
around the
bed toward the door. All the while,
avoiding his piercing gaze; fearing she may not get out intact; should
she take
a glance at his face.
He
follows
her with his
eyes as she stands, and it finally occurs to him that she is going to
leave, as
she starts walking away from him. What
is wrong with me? Why am I filled with
so much anger? Toward her,
of all people? She has done nothing to me,
except save my
sorry life. Again. He begins to
panic, not liking the idea one iota of being alone once more.
"Scully?!"
"What?!" She
hisses
loudly through her teeth, clenched
to keep her from falling apart all over the floor in front of him. There is no way in Heaven or Hell that I
am going to give him that warped satisfaction.
Oh, and we are back to "Scully"?
"I’m
sorry,
Scully. Please, don’t go.
I am sorry.
I don't know what the hell came over me, just now.
If you believe that I am the father of your
child, then I will accept that. It is
simply, undeniably, a lot for my brain to wrap around right now. After what I have been through in the past
few months, only to be told that I am going to be a father? How would you react, Scully?
It seems, well? Contrived.
Planned. You know?"
She
narrows
her eyes and
glares at him, the cold having now passed through the air from his
hazel orbs,
only to land into her sapphire ones.
"Planned?! Mulder
what
the fuck are you talking about;
planned? You think I expected
this to happen? This child I will not
deny is a miracle.
Especially in view of the fact that the Invitro session failed. But, planned?
Mulder, I was barren! I can't even
begin to explain how I
conceived. But, I do know that I have
received a gift.
"Yet,
you
have the
gall to lie there and accuse me of planning something
against you? Who the fuck
do you think you are?! What is it that
makes you think you are so
damn special? You were the
one who told me to never give up on a miracle, Mulder. Now the miracle has happened and you go
fucking nuts on me? You talk about what you
have been through. Well, let me tell you
something, again, Fox! You
are not the only one here who has been through Hell and back! I have had to
deal with
self-centered, skeptical, bureaucratic, arrogant assholes ever since you
left!
"However,
I
had
never, and I repeat, never given up the hope of finding
you. Of telling you about our child. Yet this is the response I
get? That you, of all people on this
planet, the only one whom I have always
implicitly trusted-no
questions asked-do not believe…"
She abruptly ends her tirade, and turns away from him, no longer
able to
speak. Fearful that by continuing to
have a confrontation with her former partner, she will end up in a
patient bed,
herself.
Therefore,
she turns
around and makes to leave, instead of finishing her sentence. She feels more than a bit dizzy from the
sudden onslaught of adrenaline to her fragile system, and realizes-with
a
growing horror-that her blood pressure is rising dangerously fast.
I
have got
to
get out of here!
"Scully?" Mulder calls after her retreating body, only
now noticing the sudden paleness of her features, as she hastily
retreats. Jesus, just how badly have I
shaken
her? "I am sorry.
Truly I am.
It is just…how can it be possible?
How could this have happened?"
He asks, desperately trying to keep her from parting and making
him be
alone.
She
stops,
and doesn't
turn around as she replies, "I thought it was due to the love and
respect
that we had for each other, Mulder. I
guess I was wrong." She then
continues to walk away, no longer bothering to keep the tears of her
own pain
at bay.
"Scully? Please, wait!
Don’t go! Please, I am
sorry. I just…I was not thinking
clearly. Please, Scully?
Come back here!" Mulder shouts
while moving to get up, yet
having a hard time of it, what with being attached to so many machines.
She
abruptly
halts, and
turns to stare at the man she no longer understands-steeling her
emotions as
she takes in his panicked demeanor.
"Well,
Fox,
think
clearly about this, because I am thinking clearly. Go.
To. Hell!" That said, she throws the door open, and
rushes out of the room as fast as her pregnant body will allow her, and
she
does not look back.
Oh,
God! Please, help me!
What
have I done? What just happened here? How could we have been holding hands only a
few minutes ago, yet now, she has banished me to Hell and fled? What has happened to me?
Mulder wonders,
as
he once again allows his tears to fall.
Not giving a damn about who may or may not see him; should
anyone happen
to appear through his now fully-exposed room.
Except one
person has
seen.
A
person who
has,
actually, heard most of the entire sordid argument, and she is shocked
into
disbelief by what transpired in front of her.
As she
numbly
watches
Agent Scully scurry down the hallway toward the parking garage, the
woman grabs
her cell phone from the inside of her jacket, and hurriedly dials the
number
for the only being she knows who will be able to help calm the woman
down.
1515
Jefferson Davis Hwy
Seventeenth
Floor, Unit 17-03
10:05
p.m.
Five after
ten? God, it feels so much damn later than
that!
"I am sorry
if I
woke you, Sir, but there appears to have been a situation at the
hospital that
I feel needs your immediate concern."
Skinner sits
bolt upright
in his bed. All signs of being tired
washing away with the tide of adrenaline coursing through his veins.
"What?! Is it Agent
Mulder? Tell me!
Agent Reyes has Mulder had a relapse?"
Oh God,
that will just
kill Dana!
He waits
impatiently for
a response, various visions of Mulder truly dying vying for space in
his mind's
eye.
"Agent Reyes,
are
you still there? Answer me!"
"No…um,
yes…Sir." Special Agent Monica
Reyes stammers, wanting to reassure him that Mulder is fine, yet make
him
understand that Dana Scully is the person he should be worried about. "Agent Mulder is doing well.
At least physically. Emotionally?
I can't even begin to explain to you what I just witnessed, Sir. He is now lying in his bed, crying like a
baby."
"What the
hell do
you mean, ‘crying like a baby’? Where is
Agent Scully?"
"Dana? She…she…left.
She is gone, Sir. Which does not
actually surprise me, considering the fight she just had with Agent
Mulder. I felt you should be informed
immediately,
about what I witnessed. I am worried
that her health may be in danger. She
left here in an extremely frantic state, Sir."
"What are you
talking about, Agent Reyes?"
Skinner demands to know, clearly becoming agitated with each
passing
moment. He suddenly feels as if he is
hearing the soft-spoken agent through a tin-can connection.
"The two of
them
just had the worst argument I have ever witnessed, and she took off."
"What do you
mean,
she ‘took off’? Where did she go? Why the hell didn't you try to stop
her?!" He roughly inquires, as he
rises from the bed, hastily putting on a pair of discarded jeans from
the floor
by his closet door.
"I don’t know
where
she went, Sir. I only know that she
left, and in quite a hurry. I was afraid
I would make her hysteria worse if I intervened, so I decided to simply
let her
go, and called you."
"What could
they
possibly have been fighting about?"
Skinner presses, his voice rising out of fear for Dana’s safety,
and
anger over Mulder’s involvement in putting the woman in the position
where she
had apparently felt the need to run.
If he hurt
her. I will kill him.
This time for real!
"The
baby." Reyes replies quietly.
"The baby?!" Skinner
repeats, genuinely shocked. He falls back
to sit on the bed, feeling very
ill. "Why would their baby cause an
argument? This news should have had an
entirely different outcome."
I knew
Mulder was
shocked, but this? This is insane! There should have been loving, caring and
kind, soft words. Not an argument. He
pulls himself back to his feet, trying to keep the panic he feels from
entering
his voice.
"Do you know
where
she was headed? Did she say anything to
you at all, Agent Reyes?"
"She didn’t
even
know I was here, Sir." Agent Reyes
answers, calmly.
"Why are
you there, Agent?" He asks, looking
around for his shoes, confused by the turn of events the agent is
relaying.
How did
she receive
the information of Mulder’s actual existence?
Agent
Doggett.
Damn it, I
specifically expressed to John that I wanted this to be kept silent for
a few
more days.
Finally
finding a pair of
boots and slipping them on, Skinner then madly searches for a shirt to
wear. Deciding on his red-plaid flannel,
he sighs deeply, waiting impatiently for Agent Reyes' response.
"Agent
Reyes?" He implores when her reply
is too long in coming.
"I came by to
check
on how Agent Mulder was faring after his ordeal. I
had heard that he had been exhumed, and
then brought here once out of immediate danger.
I came up from
"I stopped at
the
door when I heard loud voices. Please,
Sir. Do not be angry with John. He knows that Dana and I have become good
friends
as of late, and he felt that I should know about the turn of events. Especially since I was there, you know, that
night."
"Don’t worry,
Agent
Reyes. I can understand the whys, but I
must ask you to please keep silent about this.
I could not handle having the hospital plagued with the media."
"I understand
fully,
Sir."
"How is
Mulder doing
now?" He inquires, slipping on his
glasses after running his free hand over his face.
"He appears
to be in
emotional shock, but otherwise, he is in good condition.
I mean, he has not tried to hurt himself or
anything stupid like that. Actually, in
my humble opinion, he is in great condition considering he was ‘dead’ a
few
days ago."
"All right,
Agent
Reyes. You keep an eye on him for
me. I am going to see if I can locate
Dana. Find out if I can understand what
the hell is going on."
"I will be
here."
"I will call
you, as
soon as I find her." Skinner
promises as he then hangs up his phone.
He
starts
walking down the
hall, and pausing in his step, he quietly
knocks at his
guest room door.
"Yes?" Comes the sleepy answer of his guest.
"I have
to go
out
for awhile. I wanted to let you
know."
"Do you
need
any
help?" Skinner hears the voice query from
behind the door. Closer.
"No, I
think
I can
handle it. But, keep your cell phone
handy, just in case."
"Always."
"Okay,
I will
see
you later." Skinner replies,
turning to continue down the hallway toward the stairs.
"Wait. Walter?"
His guest asks, slightly opening the door and stepping out.
"Yes?" Skinner inquires, returning to stand in the
doorway.
"Is it
Dana?"
"Yes. Apparently she just left the hospital very
upset."
"Are
you sure
you
don’t want me to help you?"
Concern
is
evident in the
air, surrounding the two as they stand in the pale light of the hall.
"Yes. It will be stressful enough, I think. If I can even find her."
"All
right. Just keep in mind, I am only a
phone call
away should you need me."
"I will. Thanks."
"You’re
welcome."
Skinner
turns
again, and
walks down the stairs to the coat closet by the front door where he
swiftly
removes his leather jacket from its hanger.
Then, with keys in hand, he opens the door, making sure to lock
it
behind him as he leaves.
Shit! I have got to find her!
But, where do I begin my search? Would
she have gone home?
Certainly
not in the
mood she was supposedly mired in.
From
the
elevator,
Skinner pulls out his cell phone from his jacket pocket, and dials
Scully's
number, while descending to the parking garage.
No
answer. Shit!
That is not a good sign. She
always keeps her cell turned on!
Then,
an idea
hits him,
as he reaches his car and unlocks the door.
She
may
have gone to
the Gunmen's. They have become quite
good friends of hers, in Mulder’s absence.
She could seek solace there, and never have to worry about being
located. They would not let anyone
near her, unless she wanted to be found. Especially
Frohike.
Yet,
just as
he turns the
key in the ignition and is about to pull away from his parking space,
he sees
her car.
Wow. She came to me!
Shit, maybe she did
hear the conversation that Mulder and I had when she had gone into the
restroom.
1515
Jefferson Davis Hwy
Parking
Garage
10:22
p.m.
Surprising
herself,
Scully turns into the parking garage of Crystal Square Condominiums,
and takes
a nerve-calming breath.
What
am I
doing? Why am I here?
Is it simply because Walter's place feels comfortable?
No,
that
would be too
easy. There are just too many things
around my apartment to remind me of the baby’s impending arrival, and
what
that news did to Mulder. I just…I don't
feel like facing it alone. I am so tired
of facing every fucking thing…alone!
Shit! What am I doing here,
though? I should have at least called
first.
She
glances
at the cell
phone in her hand, as she stops her car in the only available spot
left-next to
a very expensive-looking imported sedan-pondering whether or not she
should
call anyway, and let Skinner know she is having a breakdown in the
basement of
his residence.
Dead
battery. This is just great!
Well, at least I was not in an accident on
the way over here.
Thank
God
for small
favors.
She
glances
at her watch.
Ten-twenty-four. Damn it; he is probably asleep by now. About
to restart her car, she hesitates. Of
course, it is Friday night. Maybe
he is still awake.
I
can't
believe that
this is happening! Not now.
Not today.
What exactly happened to Mulder?
Why was he so angry? So…unlike
himself? Is it due to his experiences on
that ship? Did They mess with his mind,
as well as his body? Why did he react that way to my news?
The news that I have been longing to tell
him, ever since the morning I found out he had been abducted! He was talking about timing? She
sadly laughs at the irony.
Where is the trust that was between us?
Now,
there
is
the question of all questions.
Why
doesn’t Mulder
trust me?
Irritated
once more,
Scully removes her key from the ignition, deciding that she will wake
Skinner
after all.
God
knows,
I have
to talk to someone. Someone whom I
trust, and whom I know trusts me back.
Implicitly.
Course,
I
could go and
see John.
She
sighs.
Then
again, he is still convinced that I am
half crazy. At least Walter knows I speak
the truth,
always, and he would never doubt what I have to say.
Not now.
Satisfied
with her
decision she exits her car, making sure she has her weapon, and then
grabs her
coat. After placing her keys and useless
cell phone into a pocket on each side of her swollen body, she then
locks the
door, and proceeds to the bank of elevators that lead to the interior
of the
building. As she is about to reach her
destination, she pauses, sensing a presence behind her.
Feeling
a bit
out of
sorts, she slowly slides her hand behind her back, and with swift
grace, spins
around with her gun in hand, only to look directly into the shocked
eyes of
Walter Skinner.
Christ! I thought Alex
was fast!
"Damn
it,
Walter! Do not do that to me!
I could have shot you!"
As a
large
sense of déjà
vu hits him, he hurries toward her, and smiles.
"I'm sorry, Dana. I didn't
mean to startle you. Are you all
right? What are you doing here?"
She
relaxes a
little upon
hearing his concerned tone, and replaces her gun into its holster. "Please, Walter. Do
try to make some noise next time. I could
have shot you dead, and that would
not have been a good thing for our friendship.
Nor good for the baby.
"Lord
knows,
I have
had enough stress lately, without having to deal with your accidental
death. Oh, and I am fine."
She answers hurriedly, as she smiles at him
apprehensively, while shaking her head.
Her expression belying her statement of wellness.
"Why
are you here,
Dana? In the middle of the
night?" Walter presses, hoping to
relieve the start he had given her.
Scully
laughs. "Walter, it is not even eleven
o'clock. Hardly the middle of the night.
I needed someone to talk to. A
friend." She admits as she lowers her
voice, noting
the depth of worry in the man's eyes while he looks down at her, and
wanting to
relieve it before he can begin to pepper her with questions.
"I am
very
confused. I didn’t know where else to
turn." She continues, her voice
scarcely a whisper, as she starts to weep.
Her
shoulders
slumping in
apparent defeat, she finally gives in to her shattered emotions. Her adrenaline rush over, now that she is in
the presence of the one person she feels can truly understand the
turmoil she
harbors.
Damn
hormones!
"Come
here." Walter says gently, pulling
her into a soothing embrace between the flaps of his long jacket,
allowing her
to cry upon his softly covered chest.
She
willingly
wraps her
arms about his waist, and begins to sob, letting all of her pent up
tears fall
freely down her face into his shirt.
"Thanks. I needed that." She
admits, after quite a few moments have
passed, pulling away from him to stand firmly beside him.
"You
think?" He asks, smiling down at
her and reaching out to pull her face toward his by her chin.
"Actually,
to
tell
you the truth, I am not sure. Normally,
I don't cry in front of people, as you well know.
But, lately?" She chuckles
ironically. "Lately it seems that is all I
have
done."
"What
happened
between you and Mulder, Dana?"
Walter asks, feeling the need to point out up front that he is
aware of
the source of her current emotional upheaval.
Yet, also conscious of the fact that, no matter how much he
cares about
the woman before him, he is also stalling her.
How
will
she react to
learning I have a guest in my home? In
her present emotionally-overworked state of mind, will the revelation
only make
her condition worse?
"We had
a
fight. Can you believe it?
He has only been back for a few days, and we
are already arguing. We almost never did
that in the past, unless it regarded a case.
Now he is angry with me, I am pissed at him, and it is all over
our baby,
no less. He accused me of lying to him.
"I
don't
understand, Walter. Why would he do
that?"
"You
want to
tell me
about it?" He questions, taking a
step back to give her some breathing room, should she decide to vent
her anger
before they take the elevator up to his penthouse.
"Yes. That would be nice. Can
we go upstairs, though? Or would you
rather go somewhere else? I am getting a
bit chilled standing out here
like this."
"Damn,
I’m
sorry,
Dana. I wasn't even thinking.
Yes, let’s get inside. We
probably do look a bit odd, standing like
this in the middle of the parking garage.
However, Dana, can I ask you something first?
Before we go upstairs?"
With
immediate concern,
Scully looks across the short distance between them, and places her
hand on his
arm. "Sure, Walter, what is
it?"
"Do you
trust
me?"
She
stares at
him;
shocked, momentarily speechless, and gapes at him.
"Now
why
would you
ask me that, Walter? You know I trust
you. After all that you and I have been
through these past few months, not to mention several years; how can
you ask me
that question? Of course I trust
you; more than I trust myself, at times.
Why?"
"Just
making
sure." He replies, lamely.
Giving her a small smile, he takes her by the
hand and leads her to the elevator bank; once again removing his cell
phone
from his pocket, as they reach the elevator.
He can
see
that she is
watching him curiously, as he pushes the number two on his speed dial,
but does
not allow himself the luxury of hesitating.
It
is now,
or never.
Scully
stands, smoothing
her hair with her hands, and stares at him while wondering; What is
going
on? Oh shit!
Way
to go,
Dana, he
has a girlfriend. She is staying
upstairs. Waiting for him, because he
left to go on an errand.
Probably
some late
night food, and then I just happened to come along.
To plop into the center of his evening.
Way
to go
there,
G-Woman.
Fuck.
"Yes."
"I’ll be
ready. I made some coffee."
"Good, I
think it
will be a long night."
"Me, too."
Skinner hangs
up,
replaces his phone into the pocket of his jacket and smiles down at
Scully,
noticing for the first time that her expression is one of apprehension.
"Are
you all
right,
Dana? Is there something wrong? Are you sure you don't want me to simply
drive you home?"
"I’m
sorry,
Walter. It is just that…shit, I am
sorry, but I didn't realize you had company.
Damn, I knew I should have called first.
She isn’t going to be mad at you, because you bring another
woman into
the house, is she?"
Walter
stares
at her,
stunned.
As
if I
have time for
anything more than to subtly gaze at the redhead in the pub. Moreover, there is no way I have the courage
to ask her out. She is too independent
to want anything to do with the likes of my
burly attitude, and the problems I am dealing with.
Not
only
that, but,
for the first time in my life since
"Walter?" Scully asks, taking hold of his hand, her
concern mounting as he appears to have vacated the elevator. "Hello?
Sir?" She prods as she waves
her other hand in front of him, trying to gain his attention.
Walter
blushes, realizing
he must have become lost in his thoughts.
"Sorry,
Dana." He replies sheepishly,
returning to the prior conversation.
"No, you are always welcome in my home. You
know that. Please, stop calling me ‘Sir’. I believe that we have become too close of
friends, for that. At least, outside of
the office. There is not a woman
upstairs, okay? Trust me.
Please."
Her
fight
with Mulder
swiftly gone from her mind; Scully simply gazes up at her friend, and
comes to
a startling realization as she peers in his eyes.
You
are
scared! Something is wrong, and you are
afraid to
tell me what it is. Christ, is there
something wrong with Mulder that you were afraid to tell me about? Did you and John uncover more than you felt I
could handle? What in God's name has you
so spooked?
"Yes,
Walter. I trust you."
She
replies, instead, making it a point to
keep her voice light. Looking for any
clues that could possibly help her in solving the sudden mystery she
finds
herself to be encountering, she takes a deep breath, and prepares
herself for whatever
it is that has frightened her friend so completely.
1515
Jefferson Davis Hwy
Seventeenth
Floor, Unit 17-03
10:12
p.m.
Listening
to
the fading
sounds of his host's footsteps Skinner's guest turns away, and closes
the
bedroom door.
Well,
sleep will be a
long time in returning. Especially, if
the next few hours will involve the possible presence of Special Agent
Dana
Scully. I might as well take a quick
shower
and get dressed.
Fifteen
minutes later he exits the guest bath, and puts on a pair of charcoal
slacks and a
green
sweater. He then
sighs
as he takes
a quick look around, wondering what he should do with himself, now that
someone
else will be arriving for the evening.
I
guess coffee could be a good way to break the ice.
So
to speak.
Exiting
the
spare room, he walks down the stairs and into the kitchen.
Opening the cupboard above the coffee maker,
and keeping in mind Agent Scully’s present condition, he takes out the
bag of
decaffeinated hazelnut coffee beans Skinner purchased specifically for
the
woman's use, and pours some into the grinder for a few seconds. Then, after carefully placing the grounds
into the filter, he quickly adds ten cups of ice
cold
water, and glances at his watch.
Ten-thirty-one.
I
wonder
where he
went, exactly?
Turning
to
lean against
the granite countertop, he waits patiently for his cell phone to ring. Confident that his friend will call him,
should he need any assistance at all in locating his stressed out agent. Then, less than three minutes later-almost as
if on cue-it shrills through the silence.
"Hello?"
"Is it
her?" He asks; vaguely aware that he has
begun to grow agitated from the events that are transpiring around
him-beyond
his control-at an extreme rate of speed.
"Yes."
"I’ll be
ready. I made some coffee."
"Good. I think it will be a long night."
"Me, too."
With
the
conversation
abruptly ended he turns off his cell phone, slips it into his back
pocket,
and moves to stand in the kitchen doorway.
He sighs, wondering how things are going to change because of
his
presence. God,
I can't wait until my apartment is finished being
remodeled!
Then he
shakes his head,
admonishing himself.
Walter
said not to worry about being here; that it is not
an inconvenience for him, but damn it,
this has the potential of turning into something very bad if his agents
start
to show up-unannounced.
Sighing
deeply, he
nervously surveys the room; making sure everything is in order, and
then leans
his head back against the jamb-patiently staring at the front door.
Well,
I
guess I'm
about to experience a lesson from the "Book of Spooky"-"How to
survive a near-death experience-in three minutes or less."
For
God's
sake man,
get a grip!
As they step
off the
elevator Skinner stops, and takes Scully by the hand.
She
looks
down at their
clasped hands, and then up at him-questioningly. "What
is it, Walter? What is going on here?"
"Are
you sure
you
trust me?"
"Stop
it,
will
you? At this point in time, aside from
John and Monica, you are the only one I do
trust." Mulder seems to have changed,
so I can’t
say that I trust him fully, at this time.
"Now, please stop with this mysterious behavior, and tell me
what
the hell is going on! You are starting
to scare me, Walter. Plus, I really have
to use the restroom, again." She
chuckles this last, trying to assure herself that things are not as bad
as she
is allowing herself to imagine.
Though, why he keeps asking me if I trust him is just wild.
He
looks down
at her, his
expression indifferent, though his heart rate rises significantly.
I
hope
that you will
be able to understand, Dana. That you
will not shoot first, and ask questions later.
Oh
this is
so fucked
up!
Reaching
his
penthouse
suite, Skinner inserts his key in the lock and opens the door. Once inside he turns, and flicks on the
little brass touch lamp that sets upon an end table just near the
door, and
allows her to enter. He immediately
notices the aroma of gourmet coffee in the air, and smiles down at her,
reassuringly. Jesus,
I
am a nervous
wreck! I haven't felt this out of
control since the morning I had to tell her about Mulder's abduction!
"You
always
come
home in the ‘middle of the night’ to fresh brewed coffee, Walter?" Scully can't help but ask, gently teasing..
Yum,
hazelnut. My favorite. Damn,
that
coffee sure
does smell good, too. What did he do,
make it just before he went downstairs?
Okay,
maybe I am just overreacting because of the
fight with Mulder. I mean really, things
wouldn't be that bad if he is so casually turning on a lamp, right? No ghosts and goblins to worry about.
Jesus,
Dana; get a
grip! She checks herself, as she
moves to
enter the living room and carefully remove her long trench coat; her
back
beginning to ache due to the extra weight she currently carries.
"No. He does not." An
altogether different voice replies
quietly from the direction of the kitchen.
"Only when he knows that there will be an intense discussion
taking
place, and sleep will be a long way off."
The
softly
stated comment
startles Scully, and stops her in mid-step.
She
turns her
head
sharply toward the sound of the voice, too stunned to even think of
pulling her
gun, and her shock is evident upon her pretty features.
All she can do is gawk with wide eyes at the
man standing before her. Unable to
comprehend the image that is penetrating her vision, and seeping into
her
brain. I must
have had
an accident. The past several minutes
have not happened at all. Not the
parking garage downstairs. Not the
conversation Walter and I had. Not the
trip up in the elevator.
Hell,
I am
not really
standing here!
I am
knocked out cold
on some side street, probably bleeding to death, while waiting for an
ambulance. I must be having the
Nightmare from fucking
Not in this house!
But she
has,
and she
does, and now that the adrenaline is coursing through her once again,
she feels
faint. Her legs actually start to give
way, astonishing the man standing beside her-and the one watching.
"Dana!" Skinner exclaims, reaching out to steady her,
and noting how his guest does not make a move.
However, he is
staring at her, his worry more than evident in his eyes.
Shit, maybe I should have warned her; told
her what she should expect.
Both
men are
very
concerned for Scully's overall well being, and Skinner can see the
question
being asked across the short distance between his current roommate, and
himself.
Is
this
revelation-my
presence-simply too much for her to take; on top of everything else,
Walter?
Scully
blinks
once,
twice, before realizing the truth. This
is
not a dream of
some sort, due to my lying unconscious on the road from a car accident.
Oh
God,
this is
reality!
She
continues
to stare at
the man standing in the kitchen doorway, and blinks again, still
trying to
rid her mind of the figure's mirage. But
he simply will not go away.
"Alex Krycek! You miserable excuse of a man! I ought to kill you where you stand!" Scully hisses, anger finally coming to the forefront of her emotions. With it, her first instinct is to reach for her gun, and she immediately does so.
However,
Skinner, knowing this would be her initial response,
places his
arms around her and stops her from completing the motion, just before
she is
able to fully remove it from its holster. Christ,
she is
fast! "No, Dana!"
"What?! It’s…He’s…Krycek!" She
stammers, incensed by the fact she can't
break free of Skinner's grip.
"I
know."
"But…?"
"I
know."
"He
is…!"
"I
know!"
"What
the fuck
is going on here?!" She beseeches;
her voice cracking as it rises.
"I asked
you, if you trusted me!"
"Dana,
please?" Krycek implores her,
slowly moving toward her like he would a frightened animal.
"Don’t
you dare
come near me!" She shrieks,
flinching when she sees him take a step in her direction. Having
no
idea what to
expect, she feels an extreme need to flee-quickly-in the opposite
direction, but
only manages to be pulled against Skinner's firm chest. This
is
worse than
dealing with a newly risen Mulder!
Shit! I should have just gone
home. I could have cried it out, alone. Like I usually do. This
is too fucking much!
She
manages
to free an
arm from Skinner's clench, and places a hand to her head; trying to
evade the
sudden vertigo she feels threatening to envelope her senses.
Krycek
halts
his step,
fearful of how she might further react should he continue to walk
toward her. Shit! She looks as
though she is going to fall to
the floor any second!
"Damn
it, Walter! Couldn’t
you have at least given her a hint
that I was here?!" If she loses
that baby it will kill me!
He
continues
to observe
her, as he glares at Skinner, the concern he wrestles with over the
woman
before him written all over his face, and yet he does as she asks;
forcing
himself to keep from moving any closer.
"Not
now,
Alex!" Skinner stresses urgently,
before returning his attention to the woman he holds with a whispered,
"Dana?" Trying to diffuse the
situation; to keep things from getting out of hand. I
have got
to calm her
down significantly, less something happen to her mind, or her baby.
"It is
all
right. Alex is an invited guest in my
home. Everything can be
explained. Please, sit down at the
table, Dana. Just give me a chance to
tell you what is going on, and listen to what we have to say." He pleads, loosening his hold on her so that
she may know he means her no harm.
"What
could
this…this…monster…possibly have to
say to me? This man killed Melissa! Why should I believe anything
that comes out of his rotten mouth? It
is because of him why Mulder was abducted in the first
place!" She seethes, nearing
hysterics. Finally wrestling out of
Skinner's loosened grip, Scully retreats toward the front door. "I can't believe you would
do this to me, Walter! How could you
bring me up here, knowing this son of
a bitch was waiting?!"
Skinner
tries
again to
calm her down by answering her in a soothing, soft tone.
"Dana, everything will be fine. Please,
just come and sit down. You look like you
are about to faint." I
must
keep her from
leaving, especially in her emotional state. Unfortunately,
any sudden move might push
her over the edge, and then what would I do?
Shit! Maybe I should have waited until she had the
baby.
But
damn
it, we are
running out of time!
"Please,
Dana." He pleads. "Join
me at the table."
She
closes
her eyes,
frustrated, as she tries to figure out what she should do.
Why is Krycek here? An
invited
guest? Surely Walter must be under
some type of duress? Is this some sort
of trap? Is Krycek trying to get to me,
through him, to get to Mulder?
She
opens her
eyes and
glares, coldly, at her nemesis.
Skinner
keeps
silent as
his heart races, and his hands begin to feel clammy. I
wonder
if Alex is
armed?
Not
that he would hurt her, but I
understand this is now a battle between the two of them.
That all I can do is remain where I am, and
pray she keeps standing on her feet.
Alex
returns
her gaze,
with deep anxiety in his own eyes, momentarily paralyzed by a startling
realization: I have never
cared for anyone in my life, as much as I care for this woman,
especially right
now.
What
the
hell does that mean?
Do I
even
want to
know?
Aware
her
eyes are still
casting daggers of ice at him, Krycek moves to the dining room table,
pulls out
a chair, and tries once more to coax her into relaxing.
"Dana,
please? Come sit down like Walter
suggested. Let us talk to you. Give
me a chance to explain what is happening
here. I know you are frightened, and
confused. You must have questions. Please?
I am afraid you will fall if you don’t sit down, and I would
really
rather not have that on my conscience."
"Since
when,
in
God’s name, did you start to give a damn about me, or have a
conscience? I have nothing to say
to you, Alex!" She
rants, stressing his first name; irritated beyond reason because he
addressed
her by her own.
"I do
care, Dana." He replies calmly,
quietly. God, if you only knew how
much. "I always
have, and I have plenty to say to you, if you will only give me a
chance. Please, sit down."
He implores, patiently.
When
she does
not make a
move, he continues; hoping she will calm down enough to think
rationally about
what he is offering to give her. His
honesty.
"I
realize
you can
still leave at any moment, but I can assure you that it would not be a
good
thing; for any of us involved in this mess.
Now that you are finally in front of me, I must be allowed to
confess to
you all that has occurred and is still
occurring. Please…hear me out, Dana."
"There
is nothing
you could possibly say to me that I would want to hear, Krycek!" She responds icily, mindful of the door
directly behind her back and calming a little because of its symbol of
escape,
much to the men’s relief.
"Please,
join
us." Krycek pleads quietly, moving
away from the chair. "I believe you
will find what I have to say to be very interesting."
Torn
between
her devotion
to Mulder, and her present loyalty to Skinner, Scully searches for a
way
out. For anything that will get her away
from the situation she now finds herself.
Yet, she can think of nothing.
I
guess I have been around Mulder for too many years.
She thinks,
realizing that her curiosity is indeed piqued.
I wonder just how much I should-or
can-deal with, before my sanity will return and allow me to simply tell
these
two men to drop dead, and vacate the building post haste.
Except…I
can't very
well go back to the hospital. I just
told Mulder to go to Hell.
John?
He
would really
think I was crazy if I were to show up at his home, this late in the
evening,
simply to inform him that an enemy from my past is at Skinner’s house. As a guest, no less!
Hell
that
sounds crazy
to me!
Skinner
moves
across the
room to stand beside Krycek, with a heavy heart.
"We
want to
talk to
you, Dana. That is all.
However, this is a decision that you, alone,
will have to make. All we are asking for
is a little of your time. We…I…should
have come clean before, but I truly didn't want to add to your stress. Yet, now that you are here, and we are here,
don't you think it might be best if we simply sat down, and answered
your
questions? I know you have some, it is
written all over your face. Please,
Dana. Let us talk. If
anything, knowing what we know may be what
you require to help Mulder."
"You
really
expect
me to join you at that table, only to sit down and listen to more
lies?" She asks incredulously.
Damn
it! What would Mulder do?
Mulder
would...
Christ,
he
is why I am
here in the first place!
Abruptly
recalling the
recent argument with her partner, she looks between the two men across
the
room, unable to deny that she truly does want some answers.
If
anything, I need to
know how to resolve Mulder's sudden distrust of me.
But, he has no reason at all to
distrust me! I have done nothing
wrong! Well, not until now anyway. Yet, is this wrong?
Walter is here, and he apparently has invited
this man into his home, and therefore something big must to be going on!
She
peers at
Krycek
curiously, as she sees him sit down at Skinner’s dining room table. In the chair directly opposite of the one he
had pulled out for her.
"No
lies,
Dana. Not this time. Actually,
not for quite some time." Krycek admits,
as both he and Walter watch
the emotions play across her face.
Each
of the men wonder if she will take the steps necessary in order to
fulfill
her interest; to find her own answers.
They
anxiously wait,
with pent up breath, to find out what she will decide to do. Desperately wanting her to give them a
chance to explain.
Scully
shifts
her feet,
and slyly looks about the room, before finally turning and walking
toward the
back of the couch.
Skinner
smiles inwardly,
as he recognizes her subtle body language.
Thank God! She is going
to sit down! Finally!
Someone with enough sense to actually listen
to reason, before going off half-cocked.
Scully-her
decision
made-slowly relaxes, and swiftly removes her coat, not conscious of the
fact
she is revealing her very pregnant state to her enemy, and not for the
first
time.
God,
she
is so
beautiful! Krycek immediately reacts;
the thought
blindsiding him and
causing him to gasp reflexively. His
surprise at her exposure, and clear vulnerability, is visibly expressed
on his
face, even though he had seen her in this condition only a few hours
earlier. Hitherto, both her beauty, and
the fact that it registered in his mind with the speed that it has,
again,
shocks him into immobility.
Unaware
of
the response
she has provoked in her archenemy, Scully throws her coat across the
back of
Skinner’s couch, and-after only a moment's hesitation-removes her
back-holster,
placing it on top of her leather, before finally making her way to the
table.
Looking
up as
she walks,
she ponders the strange look on Krycek’s face, and then smirks as she
takes his
proffered chair and carefully sits down.
"What is it, Krycek? Haven't
you ever seen a pregnant woman before?"
She asks, frostily.
Realizing
she
must be
referring to the expression on his face, Krycek instantly puts on a
front of
disinterest, and looks away. Actually
afraid of what she may have seen within the depths of his eyes, and
suddenly
curious as to whether or not Walter noticed, as well. Shit! Just what I don't need! Walter
wondering what the hell I am doing
gawking at Dana Scully is the last thing I can handle at this point.
Focus,
Alex, focus!
However,
this
entire
transaction is not lost on Skinner, who also finally removes his own
jacket and
places it atop of Scully's. He then makes
his way to the kitchen for the coffee, sensing the need to retreat,
even if
only momentarily; afraid if he does not take charge of the situation,
she will
get up and leave, just as quickly as she has decided to stay.
I
need to
show her
that I am not being coerced into anything.
Besides, this is Alex’s moment.
Only he can break the ice with Dana and-with any luck-keep
himself from
getting shot in the process.
As
Skinner
leaves the
room, Krycek watches Scully through hooded lashes, having a hard time
adjusting
to how striking she appears; and his continuing effect from it. Once settled, he sees her chance a look
across the table, and notes the slight puffiness around her eyes;
evidence
that she had been crying at some recent point, and promptly feels
compelled to
destroy whomever it was who had brought her to tears. Christ,
what am I thinking?!
Revenge
for Dana
Scully?
You must
be
losing your touch with reality here, Alex.
She would just as soon shoot and kill you, as look at
you.
And
why
does that fact
bother me so damn much?
However
odd,
though, the
feeling will not go away. No matter how
hard he tries to chastise himself. Thus,
with a conscious effort, Krycek shakes his head and makes himself think
of
something-anything-else to keep from actively analyzing his reaction to
her
presence.
Coffee;
coffee is
good.. It smells wonderful, and I could really use a cup right about now, even
if it is decaf.
"So,
Krycek? What is this all about?" Scully
finally asks, not trusting herself to
do-or say-anything more now that Skinner has left the room, and also
aware that
her presence across the table from the assassin seems to be wreaking
some sort
of havoc on him; yet having no idea it is the exact opposite of what
she
believes it to be.
"I
don't
care how unattractive
I am to you, you slimeball. You can fall
into a pit of deadly snakes for all I give a damn.
Now, what is your story? Why the
hell are you here?"
She demands to know, her initial fright
having been replaced by seething anger.
She feels a great need to lash out at him, and makes a mental
note as to
the distance between herself, and her gun.
Krycek's
eyes
fly open,
and he gapes at her-stunned by the venom he can hear dripping from her
voice.
She
actually believes
I find her unattractive? Is she fucking
kidding me? Doesn't she have any idea
how beautiful she is?
"You do
realize I
could just shoot you right here, right now, while Walter is in the
kitchen? However, unlike you, I do not
make it a habit to kill in cold blood, you son of a bitch."
"Excuse
me?" He replies, unable to think of
any fitting rebuke to her harsh words, though he knows they are untrue,
as he
is still stuck on the idea of her thinking she is undesirable in his
eyes. Jesus,
she is even stunning when she is angry!
Fuck,
I have got to keep it together!
"I am
still
waiting
for an answer to my question." She
continues, calmly; digging her nails into the palms of her hands to
keep from
smacking him from across the table.
"How do
you
want
your coffee, Dana?" Skinner calls
from the kitchen. "It's decaf, so
you don’t have to worry."
Her
gaze
sharpens at
Krycek, as she processes Skinner's statement.
Are you actually bright enough to know I can't have any
caffeine? She wonders, truly surprised
by the gesture
the man had made.
Krycek
catches her amazed
expression and suppresses a grin; forgetting all about her vindictive
words of
moments earlier. "I am not an
idiot, Dana. Contrary to popular belief."
She
stares at
him, her
eyes wide. Again. Unable
to articulate a response, not only to
his words, but also to his behavior, she finds herself pondering, What
the
hell is going on? Why is he being so
damn sweet? Okay, maybe not sweet,
but...what is he trying to pull here?
He then
laughs, startling
her even further. Jesus,
he
is laughing!
Why
do I
find that so shocking, anyway?
"You
look
truly
shocked, Dana." He states gently,
while continuing to laugh softly; relieving some of the tension from
the room.
She
can't
help herself,
in her surprise, and she smiles warily back at him.
How did you know what I was thinking?
"I will
take
some
hazelnut creamer if you have it, Walter."
She answers, realizing that Skinner may appear at any moment, if
she doesn't-and not understanding why she suddenly feels he should stay
away-for
at least a few more moments.
"Otherwise, three sugars and a cream." She
adds, as she keeps smiling. Surmising
Krycek to be correct-I must be in the early stages of shock-she
ends with a, "Please."
"All
right, I
will
see what I can find."
Never
in a
million
years would I have imagined myself to be sitting here-in Walter
Skinner's
house-about to have coffee with Alex Krycek, of all
people!
"I like
it
sweet." She explains, forgetting
about her impromptu interrogation at the sight of his raised brow. Instead, feeling the need to break the
deafening silence that has enveloped the room; finding it suffocating.
"Me,
too." He admits with another smile.
Well, at least she didn't shoot me.
Yet.
God,
she
really is
stunningly gorgeous. Damn you,
Mulder. You are one lucky son of a
bitch!
Scully
itches
to analyze
the man sitting across the table. To get
into his mind, in much the same way as that which made Mulder famous
throughout
the Bureau, if only to gain the answers she so desperately seeks. However, she remains wary of him, keeping her
eyes on his position for any sign of danger he may pose to her or her
child,
yet managing, while she does, to appear aloof-so as not to provoke him
in any
way.
"What
are you
thinking about, Krycek? What is going on
here? How the hell did you manage to
become an invited guest in Walter’s home?"
She asks, not quite sure if she is repeating herself, and not
really
caring either way, as she does not remember having heard an answer from
him
prior to Skinner's interruption.
Skinner
walks
out of the
kitchen holding a tray that supports three piping-hot cups of coffee,
and a
bottle of Hazelnut creamer. The pair
watches him keenly, as he places the tray down in the center of the
table, and
then takes a seat at Scully's right.
Scully
turns
toward him
as he sits, trying to force her single utmost thought into his head
with a mere
look.
What
is
this all
about?!
Skinner,
noticing her
intensity, smiles at her. "Trust
me, Dana. You will be glad
that you heard this. It could very well
change everything you have ever perceived about the situation."
"What
'situation'
have I supposedly been incorrect about with regard to my perceptions;
exactly?"
Pondering
her
question,
he takes a cup of coffee from the tray, pours some creamer into it, and
stirs
it with a spoon, before then handing it to her with an innocent smile
upon his
face. "Your entire basis of
understanding regarding Alex."
She
stares at
him,
astonished by his nonchalance, and takes the cup from his hand.
Skinner
then
grabs his
own cup, as does Krycek, and they each repeat the process.
"I take
it
you two
have coffee together often?" She
remarks, marveling at their fluid movements and sense of ease around
each
other.
"For a
time." Krycek admits, putting his
spoon down onto the table top, before raising his mug to his lips and
taking a
tiny sip.
"Oh,
really?" She asks, turning to look
at him directly, wanting very much to pry the answers of her unsaid
questions
from his mind, by sheer will.
He
smiles at
her
cordially. "Yes."
He
certainly does seem charming.
Sure,
when
he is not
trying to kill someone.
Her
eyes
suddenly widen,
as she takes a sip from her own cup.
Oh
my God! Did I just actually think that?
Krycek? Charming?
Son
of a
bitch, what
is wrong with me?!
Horrified
with herself,
Scully quickly returns her attention to Skinner. "How
long, precisely,
Walter?"
"About
six
months." He reveals casually, as
though she has asked him about the weather.
She
nearly
spits her
coffee across the table-aghast. "Six
months?!"
"Yes,
since about two weeks after…after It happened." Skinner
continues, without missing a beat.
She
fixes him
with a
blank look, incredulous.
Comprehension
is once
again hard pressed in arriving to her brain, and Krycek wonders, for
not the
first time since her arrival, whether or not the timing of this
discussion is
completely inappropriate.
Maybe
we
actually
should wait, at least until she is no longer pregnant.
Her blood pressure has certainly got to be
rising, and that is definitely not good for her-or the baby.
"You
mean to
tell
me…" Scully says, oblivious of
Krycek's concern as she glares bitterly at Skinner, "…that you have
been
friends with…with…him…the entire time that
Mulder
has been-don’t say abducted-gone?"
She stammers, torn between feeling utterly betrayed, and
absolutely
furious.
"Yes."
"The entire
time I have been working with Agent Doggett?"
"Yes."
"Lamaze
classes?"
"Yes."
"Baby
furniture
shopping?"
"Yes."
"Decorating
the
fucking nursery?!"
"Yes."
Beside
herself with rage
at Skinner's calmly stated admissions, she forces herself to continue
to listen
to the casual tone of his voice, as he persists in answering her
questions. Finding it to be an
unfamiliar struggle. She places her cup down, and takes a deep
breath.
Stay
calm,
Dana. Get your answers.
No! What I'd really like to do-at this point-is
grab my gun, and shoot Walter!
"Am
I supposed to believe that you are serious, Walter?
Really?"
"Yes. All of it is true." Walter
affirms evenly, cautiously gauging her
body language-and her rising anger-yet not offering an apology for his
own
behavior in the slightest.
"Dana,
Alex
Krycek
and I have become very good friends. He
has, in fact, helped me to understand quite a bit of what you and
Mulder have
been facing over the course of the past several years-from your point
of view. He explained his 'involvement'
with the
Syndicate a while back, and he has been able to put together a lot of
the
puzzle pieces in my mind that I have carried around for several years,
and for
that I am very grateful.
"He has
also
helped
me to come to grips with the whole 'aliens do exist' issue. I'm embarrassed to admit that he did a
better job of it than Mulder-even considering the…event…in
"Not
that I
don't
trust Mulder-of course I do-but Alex has a way of explaining things
clearly-and
concisely-whereas Mulder has always managed to bring emotions to the
table
during a discussion; thereby leaving me feeling drained, and causing me
to have
more questions than answers.
"Alex…Alex
merely
answers a question outright, and is able to leave emotion out of it. Most of the time, anyway."
Skinner finishes, taking a sip of his coffee.
Krycek
closely watches
Scully's reaction to Skinner's words.
Knowing it is make-it-or-break-it time.
Either
she
will get up
and leave-never to return-or she will stay and hear us out. If, for nothing more, than to cure her
curiosity. To find out why I am coming
out of the woodwork-at this late juncture of the game-to settle things
with
her, and Mulder.
Thoroughly
livid by
Skinner's admission of his friendship with her nemesis, she abruptly
slams her fist down on the table, and stands.
"You
son of a
bitch! You…you...asshole!
I can't…I can't believe I am hearing this,
Walter! And from you!"
She
actually can't
take this?
Skinner realizes in awe, watching in dismay
as she slowly pushes back her chair; stoically taking in her harsh
words. I can't believe it!
She is really going to leave here, without an
explanation?!
Just
what
the hell has happened to her to make her give up so easily, and walk
away from the
Truth? After all of the years she has
put into Mulder's quest, she is going to simply…flee the scene?!
That
would
make no
sense, whatsoever! Not from her! Mulder…yes, I could see that…but, Dana
Scully? Running?
"Dana,
where
are you
going?" He asks, hoping that he is
merely jumping to the altogether-wrong conclusion.
Damn,
am I
ever
going to catch a break with this woman? Krycek
wonders,
as he, too, observes her
slowly moving away from the table.
"Scully? Please.
Don't leave."
She
turns to
look at
them, her breath hitching between her tightly clenched teeth, and
seriously
ponders departing from their tag-team efforts of manipulation. A moment later, instead, she narrows her
eyes; and after taking another deep breath, she begins to speak.
"If I
were a
coward,
I would go back to the hospital and apologize to Mulder.
Fucking beg him to take me out
of this insane situation. To take me
away from this place, and anything whatsoever having to
do with
either one of you.
"Yet, I
know
I could
never dare do that. Would not. I am not that type of woman.
I am not weak, and I most certainly do not
need Mulder to escort me away from everything-or
anything-for
that matter. I am stronger, now. After the shit I have been through,
especially over the course of the past several months, I am stronger
than I
have ever been. I have been forced to
face the worst possible event that could have happened to me-his
'death'-and I survived
it.
"Everything
else? Well, whatever comes next will be
a piece of cake by comparison. Or so I
would like to believe, anyway.
Therefore, I am willing to calm down, and pay attention to your
explanation regarding this 'situation' in an analytical way. But, if I so much as feel an
ounce of untruth-from either of you-I will shoot you
both.
"Now,
Walter,
I know
you would never intentionally hurt me.
And I highly doubt you would allow Krycek to harm me, either. So, I guess I really have no choice, but to
stick it out and hear what you both have to say. However,
this had damn well better
be worth my time, or-as God as my witness-Walter, you
will regret
ever betraying my trust."
She
turns to
Krycek,
then, and smiles at him. A genuine, full
wattage smile. "Don’t worry
Tovarisch, I'm not leaving. I only have
to use the restroom. Being almost nine
months pregnant tends to do that to a woman."
They
both
stare at her,
and slightly nod-speechless.
Krycek,
dumbfounded,
can't believe he has actually been awarded with a smile
from
her.
Tovarisch?! Jesus
Christ,
where did she pick that
word up from?! Surely Mulder never…I
haven't done a single thing, as far as I can recall, to truly deserve
that
smile! If anything, I most likely
deserve to be shot for the amount of
pain I have caused this woman.
Tovarisch-indeed!
He
finds
himself looking
down into his cup, unable to meet her eyes. I
wonder
if she even
knows what that word means?
I
swear to
God, if she smiles at me like that again, I will lose all of my
control
over this state of affairs.
Skinner
merely gazes at
her-without realizing the effect she has just had on his
friend-wondering why
in the world she would smile at the younger man.
"All
right
Dana, we'll be waiting."
"You
had
better be,
Walter. I am determined to know what
this is all about." She reaffirms,
as she turns and walks away from the table.
Heading
down
the hall,
she rounds the corner on her left, and enters the half-bath. Upon arriving in the secluded area, she
promptly locks the door, and then leans up against it; forcing herself
to keep
standing.
Thank
God
this door is
here, or I swear I would fall to the
floor in a heap, and start to beg to wake up. To find
myself in
bed; this entire encounter with the assassin in the other room having
been
nothing more than a vivid dream-again.
She
moves toward the toilet; continuing to ponder the events of the past
hour, more
than a bit anxious about the situation that has been brought to her
attention.
Walter
Skinner and
Alex Krycek? Friends?
Oh
no...I
am not
leaving. Not until I get to the bottom
of this. If this is not an X-File, than
I sure as hell don't know what is.
I
wonder
if I should
call Mulder?
Damn
it, I
can't; my
phone is dead in the other room.
Then
again, he
probably wouldn't believe me anyway.
Oh, how that hurts! If he
didn't believe me about the baby, who is to say he would not accuse
me of
lying about Krycek?
This
is
just insane!
After
emptying her
seemingly-always-full bladder, and washing her hands, Scully loiters in
front
of the large mirror above the vanity; taking a good look at herself for
a
moment.
Why
am I
still here,
and at this late hour?
I
should
be at the
hospital! I am supposed to be sitting
next to Mulder, holding his hand!
Telling him how hard I searched for him; how much I have missed
him. How I prayed for his safe return for
hours on
end!
Not
drinking coffee at
Walter’s house with Alex Krycek! That,
in and of itself, would be enough to cause Mulder to distrust me.
She
splashes
some water
upon her face as another thought strikes her.
Wait,
he doesn't know
I'm here, and he doesn't seem to trust me now, anyway.
Not to mention, I have already held his hand,
told him how hard it was on me that he was gone, and got it thrown in
my face
that I am pretty much a whore in his eyes-now.
Well,
fuck
Mulder! I must find out what is going on
here, and when I do, maybe then I
will be willing to go back and give him an even bigger piece of my mind. Ask him where he gets the gall to treat me
like some tramp just in from
She
pats some
more cold
water onto her cheeks; careful to keep her mascara from running, dries
her
hands and face, and opens the door.
Turning off the light, she makes her way back toward the dining
room,
realizing with a growing inquisitiveness that she is no longer
frightened by
Krycek's sudden appearance back into her life.
Almost…almost
as if I
just knew he would show up again.
Like he seems to always have
a habit of doing, now that I think about it.
Upon
reaching the
table, she takes her seat without looking at either of the two men; a
little
nervous as to what might happen if she does.
Situating herself in the chair, she clenches her teeth, and then
smiles
slightly at Skinner, before turning to stare at Krycek-directly in the
eyes.
"Spill
it. Now."
She stresses calmly, yet quietly, as she glances at her watch-Eleven-oh-two-and
prepares herself to pay strict attention to the story the-Former? Current?-hit
man is about to
relay.
This
ought
to be good,
considering the circumstances. I just
wish I had my damn tape recorder with me.
At least then Mulder might
believe.
December
2, 2000
10:12
p.m.
Agent
Reyes
ends her call
to the Assistant Director, and places her cell phone back into her
blazer
pocket, while at the same time making her way toward Agent Mulder's
hospital
room.
I
know I
have done the
right thing by informing A.D. Skinner about Dana’s argument with her
former
partner, or so I hope, but should I have really mentioned anything
about the
man's state of emotions?
What
if
all he ends up
doing is talking Day into returning back here, once he finds her?
Surely,
he
would not
go that far, would he? After what I just
witnessed, I think it would be best if Dana stayed away, for at least a
little
while.
Taking
a
breath, she
steels her nerve for the cold welcome she is convinced she will receive; positive it will be such-once Mulder
becomes aware of her presence-especially because he will have no idea
as to who
she is, and why she would be stopping by for a visit at such a late
hour.
After
witnessing their
fight there is no way I can keep myself from entering his room. I have got to try to talk to him.
Let him in on a few things. Though,
I really hope that I can make this
guy understand exactly whom it was who just left his side.
She
walks
silently into
the room and, upon seeing him; her heart begins to pound, surprising
her
momentarily into halting her step.
Holy
shit;
the poor
man! He looks so…defeated and…broken...as
he lies there. He has been crying!
Yet, he doesn't seem to care whether or not
anyone will notice.
I
better
make my
presence known, and quickly.
However,
in
sudden
hesitation, she can't help but take a moment to watch him.
To study the man she has heard so much about
over the course of the past few months.
Wow. This man is Special Agent Fox Mulder?
She
lingers
in the
doorway-almost expecting some unknown thing to occur-when she belatedly
realizes how she must appear, as he turns his head in her direction,
and
startles her by speaking.
"Who
are you?" Mulder inquires;
his tone not at all
pleasant. "If you have come by to
run some more tests, don't waste our time.
I am sick of all your damn needles and blood work; of being
everyone's
fucking pincushion. So, how about you
just forget it for the rest of the night, and get the hell out of here?"
Shamed
by
having been
caught both staring at him, and off guard, she immediately pulls her
badge from
a back pocket of her jeans, and moves toward him, shyly.
"Actually, Agent Mulder, my name is
Monica Reyes. I am a Special Agent out
of the
He
is
beautiful!
She suddenly
thinks as she nears closer to him, and then she shakes her head-stunned. Those
marks on his face surely don't take away his beauty any.
Oh,
shit! What
am I thinking?
He
is Dana’s!
She is the one
who spent nearly three
months looking for him, and then another three months grieving for him.
Get
a hold
of
yourself, Monica!
"Great. Now, what do you want, Agent
Reyes?" Mulder asks; perturbed that
he has been interrupted while feeling sorry for himself, again. "Make it quick. I
don't want to be bothered. I just want to
simply lay here, and wallow in
my own self-pity." He mumbles, turning his face away from her once more
to
stare at the far wall.
Surprised
by
his esoteric
reply, Reyes hurries to explain, feeling the sudden-and
overwhelming-need to
make the man before her feel better about himself.
To force him to understand just how thankful
those who care for him are that he is alive.
That
his is
alive.
"I came
by to
see
for myself that you were…okay. How are
you doing?"
Oh
yes
there you go,
Mon. That is such an intelligent
question, Girl. You know very well how
he is doing. Shitty! That
is how he is doing! Christ, couldn't you
have come up with
something more original?
Oh,
be
quiet! Who asked you?
Yikes! Two seconds in his presence, and I am already
arguing with myself!
"I'm
doing
fine,
now get out. I really would rather be
left alone." He states, his gaze
still held by the other end of the room, and allowing her to only see
the back
of his head.
Not the
tears
coursing
down the bruised cheeks of his face.
Why
can’t
everyone
just leave me alone? Haven’t I been
through enough? Jesus, I was never
this popular throughout the Bureau when I was alive the first
time!
"Agent
Mulder?" She prods, propelled
forward by the continued tone of sadness radiating from his voice.
There
is no
way
I can simply leave him. Not now. Not when I can feel the gross amount
of pain the man radiates!
After a
long
moment, he
turns his attention back toward the door-toward her-and his eyebrow
arches in
amazement.
"You
are still
here? What is the matter, Agent
Reyes? They stop teaching
girls manners down South?" He
accuses acidly, aware his brisk tone is absolutely out of character,
yet not
giving a damn about how this new stranger perceives his actions.
"I
noticed
you had
an argument with Agent Scully." She
replies gently, ignoring his rude comment.
"Do you want to talk about it?
I'm rather good at listening."
She presses, perceptive of the fact that he may start yelling at
her if
she continues to ignore his request, but not caring in the slightest.
Of
course,
he could
just tell me to piss off. Inform me that
he believes this situation is none of my damn business.
Then again, who the hell else does he have?
Day has already left, and there is not
exactly a line of people waiting outside his door for the chance to
speak with
him.
This,
come
to think of
it, is quite odd. The guy did
just come back from the grave!
His
expression turns
quizzical as he watches her, and he-by nature-begins to profile her.
Where
the
hell did you
truly come from? You could not possibly
have flown here all the fucking way from
Why
would you be
any different?
"Would
you
really
want to listen?" He asks quietly,
shocking himself in the process.
Who is
this
woman? Why do I have the sudden feeling
I could tell her anything, and she would understand?
He
quickly
blinks back
the urge to cry once more. What
am I
thinking? Scully is the only one who
understands me. That is, she used to be
the one; now she…she…
"Never
mind,
you wouldn't understand." He rescinds;
his voice scarcely a whisper.
"Try
me,
Agent
Mulder. I may surprise you."
She responds soothingly, as she walks around
the hospital bed and takes the seat that had so recently held Dana
Scully. "What is it you wish to talk
about?"
"I
really don't
know where to begin. Other than the fact
that I am so damn…confused!
I mean, one minute I was standing in the forest in Oregon with
Walter
Skinner, and the next; I was waking up to see Scully staring
at
me as if I had been…resurrected…or something.
Which I guess is what happened.
"At
first,
when I
saw her face, I thought that I must have fallen ill or gotten hurt,
you know, while on
the case. That we were in a hospital there. It does tend to happen a lot-my waking up in
a hospital.
"Instead,
I
have
been told that six months of my life have passed, three
of which
I spent in the ground, and I have risen from the dead. So to speak.
"Then,
I find
out
that Scully is pregnant, when by all medical explanations she should
not
be. My body feels like utter shit, and I
have begun having brief images flash in my mind's eye about someplace
that I do
not even remember being!
"How is
that
for a great start to the weekend, Agent Reyes?" He
replies derisively, feeling like an idiot
because of how he must sound. Why
the
hell should I
be surprised? I have always known that I
appear odd when explaining my thoughts to others.
Well,
except to Scully.
"Agent
Mulder?"
"Please,
call
me
Mulder. Just…Mulder."
"All
right…Mulder. Do you
know what
has happened to you? With regard to the
injuries that you have
sustained; do you remember how you got them?"
"Scully
told
me that
I was abducted. Actually abducted!" He chokes out a laugh, nervously.
"I find it sort of ironic, don’t
you? I mean, me, ‘Spooky’
Mulder. The one person, who has actually
been chasing after little grey men for years, was
abducted! I
don’t know
if I
should feel triumphant or just intensely pissed off."
"Do you
remember
anything about your experience?"
Reyes continues, keeping in mind his fragile-and emotionally
unstable-state of mind.
"I
think I am
starting to. But I don't know…can't tell…if
what I am seeing in my head is real. The
memories, I mean. I see a chair. I see instruments. I
feel pain.
Yet, at the same time, I am…"
He stops a moment to gain control of his chaotic emotions, and
then goes
on. "It is almost as if I am
watching from the…outside, through someone else’s eyes.
Do you know what I mean?"
"Like
an OBE."
"Yes, exactly! Like an Out of Body Experience.
I can see what's going on, but
yet, I can't believe that it is me I am seeing."
"I
understand." She agrees, while
looking at him squarely, her compassion very evident in her eyes.
"You
do?" He asks with a laugh.
She
has got to just be humoring me
here.
She
maintains
eye contact
as he chuckles, and winces when she realizes there is no humor in his
gaze. Damn, he is so sad!
How can I possibly give him some hope?
"I do
understand. My specialty is dealing with
the Occult and cult-like phenomena. Yet,
I also have a strong-personal-interest in the paranormal.
Thus, I have seen this
before-unofficially. However, never with
an actual Abductee. I mean, I have heard
the stories about alien abduction, but you are the first person I have
ever had
any real contact with, who was abducted.
I do truly believe that you were abducted,
Ag…Mulder. Especially given that I saw
the ship myself."
"You saw
it?!" He exclaims, surprised that
she would so willingly-and openly-admit to such an event occurring. That she would be so honest about it and not
even hesitate with her admission.
Good
God,
this woman
sounds like I used to!
"Yes. I believe it was the
night you were returned
to Earth. Yet, I was too late in getting
to you, or to whom I believe to have been you.
Someone else beat me to the spot, though, and the Abductee was
taken
away in a truck. I am convinced it was
you I saw being taken away, but I can't prove it.
Not that there is a need to, any longer. Anyway,
that is when I found the other
Abductee."
"Other
Abductee?" Mulder inquires, while
pressing the button on the side of his bed to bring himself into a more
upright
position.
Wow. Other than Cassandra Spender, I have never
met anyone who believed in these events so…readily.
She is actually willing to talk about it? Where
did
she come
from? Who the hell is she?
"Yes, a
young
man. His name was
"Was he
dead
like I
was ‘dead’, or just dead?"
"I
would be
safe in
assuming that he was truly dead. Dana
performed the autopsy herself."
He
looks away
for a
moment, and then whispers almost to himself.
"I wonder why they didn’t perform an exam on me?"
"Probably
because
Dana would not allow one to be made."
Reyes replies honestly, shocking him once again.
"She
was
scarcely
able to grasp that you were gone, let alone allow someone-anyone-to cut
you
open and try to find the answers about your death."
She pauses a moment, upon seeing the sudden
paleness of his face. "Excuse me
for being so frank."
"No,
no, it's
okay. You just…that description really
sounds like Scully. She never would have
autopsied my mother, if I had not practically begged her to do it. I can only imagine how she must
have reacted to the thought of me being the one on the
table."
She
nods,
fully
comprehending the meaning of his words.
Christ,
after the way
she reacted after your being found? No
way would I have wanted to be an M.E. around her.
"If you
don’t
mind
my asking Mulder…what happened?"
"I
already
told you,
I don't remem…"
"No…just
now,
before…before I came in?"
I
know I
am most
likely treading on thin ice here, but I can't help it. I find myself attracted to him, and for an
unknown reason, I can't bear to see him in pain.
"She is
pregnant. We argued about it." He replies, coldly.
"I
would have
thought it would make you happy. To
learn of her pregnancy." Reyes
presses, knowing she is indeed stretching the limits of his
congeniality, but
feeling the absurd need to know.
"She
claims
it is
mine." He answers, succinctly.
"You
don’t
believe
her? You think she is lying to
you?" She continues, having a hard
time grasping the idea.
He doubts
the
word of Dana Scully?! She and I have
spoken on numerous occasions since this man's funeral,
and
we have
become good friends! How can I possibly
bring myself to accept she would lie about such a thing?
There is-simply no way she
would fabricate such a situation!
Especially
with regard to Fox Mulder!
"Scully
has
never
lied to me." He resumes, accurately
reading her nonplussed expression.
"That is to say, not that I can recall." He
pauses a
scant moment
before continuing. "All
right,
there was
that time she went away with Cancerman. However,
she did explain her reasons to
me-later. Notwithstanding the hurt I
felt at her deception when I found out; at the time he persuaded her to
leave
with him she had had no choice but to hide the truth from me. She swears the only reason she went was
because she sincerely believed the information he promised her would
benefit
all of mankind. It was not
her fault that-once again-Spender proved to be nothing more than a
lying piece
of tar-infected inhumanity."
What
is he
talking
about?
She wonders, without interrupting. Who
is he
talking about so…vehemently?
"It
doesn’t
make any
sense." He adds, as he makes an effort to
pull himself back
from his tortured past; his perceived betrayal.
"What
doesn't
make
any sense?" She pries, in a low,
serene voice. Though her insides are now
roiling. God, please don't shut me
out! Not now!
"She is
supposed to
be…barren. Yes, she had a chance for
motherhood, at one time several years ago, and I-willingly and
happily-helped
her out when she asked. However, the
Invitro failed, so how could she possibly be pregnant?
It makes no sense." He protests, as
he turns away from her. Desperately trying
to keep her from seeing
the suspicion in his eyes. The
reservations he has regarding Scully’s words.
Could
I
have gotten
her pregnant that…one…night? The night
she told me about her friend Daniel?
"If not
you,
than
whose baby do you think it is she carries?" Reyes
entreats, fearful he will stop his
narrative, just when she is receiving her own answers to questions she
had not
even realized she had.
Is
she capable of such subterfuge?
I know it's not unheard of for a woman to
get pregnant-in hopes of snaring their "dream man", but her? God, no.
She is not…can't…be that type of a woman. She's
simply unable to be that type of a person.
Than
why
the hell is
he, her best friend, so alarmed by the possibility of being the baby's
father?
"I
don’t know. I have an idea of whose it
might be, but she
denies it." Mulder interjects
quietly; having no idea as to the turmoil the woman before him now
suffers because
of his previous enlightenment.
Day
should
be barren? "Is
that why
she
left?" Reyes questions,
straightening herself in her chair so as to appear uncaring-either
way-rather
than give away any outer sign that she is now pondering the validity of
Mulder's words.
"Yes. I did everything but come right out and call
her a liar. I accused her of sleeping
with a friend of ours." He answers;
his voice full of shame.
"What
will
you do if
you find that it is yours?" And…why
do
I want to know? I don't even
know this man. Hell, Day is practically
my dearest friend! Why on Earth should I
take what he says, and begin to mistrust her because of his own
insecurities?
"I
don’t know. I'll be happy for her, of
course. Yet, something seems to have, I
don’t
know…changed."
"Changed? How?"
She asks, quite surprised by his choice of words.
What
could
have
possibly-despite his recent "disappearance/reappearance"-caused
things to change between them? Surely it
could not be simply because she is pregnant!
He helped her try to conceive the first time! So…why is he having such doubts now?
"I
can’t
explain
it. I simply have a feeling that things
are not going to be the same." He
rushes on, noting with growing concern the fleeting mix of expressions
upon her
face. "The same as they
were, before I left for
"Why
would
you say
that, Mulder? Truth be told, I have only
seen her devoted to finding you.
And to making sure that you have had the best treatment
possible,
now that you
have returned." She states, more
than a little confused.
"I
don’t
know, Agent
Reyes."
"Monica."
"What?"
"Please,
call
me
Monica."
"All
right, Monica. I don't know,
actually. There is just this feeling
that I have. This feeling that
something…profound…is about to happen, and it may very well tear us
apart."
She
sits back
even more,
and watches him; suddenly wanting nothing more than the opportunity to
stay in
D.C. To find the answers to all of the
new questions she now has burning inside her. Primarily
one in particular.
Who
are you,
Fox Mulder?
Penthouse
11:02
p.m.
Krycek
can't
help but
marvel, as the woman who sits across from him continues to stare,
to…contemplate his presence.
She
is in
a delicate
condition yet; all of her strength and determination still shine
through. Amazing.
I know that she will most likely
never forgive me for what I have done. That
apologizing to her for my past sins will be useless.
However, I vow that I will do whatever I
must, in order to protect her from now on. No
matter
what it
takes, or what I have to do, no one will ever harm her
again, not
as long as I draw breath.
"Now,
Krycek! I don’t have time for this!"
Scully demands sharply, bringing him out of
his thoughts.
"Sorry,
Dana. I was just…thinking."
He
replies shyly, horrified to feel himself
blushing.
"It is
‘Agent
Scully’ to you, Dirtbag, and don’t you forget it." I
have
already had
about enough of this little conspiracy and I am tired.
So very tired. And has the
gall to call me
"Dana"?
He
wishes.
All
I want
to do is go
home, take a nice hot shower, and climb into bed. I
hate that baths are out of the question,
for now. God knows I have a hard enough
time keeping my balance in the shower, without trying to lie in a tub
full of
sudsy water.
Damn
it,
why am I
always ending up in late night meetings like this?
How come I can never be home at a decent
hour?
Oh
yeah, I
wanted to
talk to Walter. Smart move, Dana.
"Once
more, Agent
Scully, I apologize."
Krycek replies, his voice slightly tainted by hurt. I
knew
this was going
to be hard. I just did not anticipate
how much! Nor had I ever foreseen how
greatly her presence would have an affect on me.
Jesus,
I thought Walter was
difficult. She is going to have me on my
knees and begging for mercy, before this night is through; if I
am not
careful.
"Please
continue,
Alex. I am sure she would merely like to
get some sleep." Skinner encourages
with a slight smile; taking a sip of coffee. This
sucks!
I
feel so badly for him. I
hope that for just once he catches a
break. Although that will be up to Dana,
I sincerely hope that the truth is enough to change her view of him.
I
understand that this
must seem surreal to her. I can only
imagine what she must be thinking.
However, I also know that this conversation has to take
place
and, since she is here, there really is no time like the present. Before Mulder is out of the hospital, and can
make this whole meeting impossible to conduct.
Damn
it, I
knew I
should have told her about Alex long before now. It
would have made things so much easier to
explain to Mulder, when the time comes.
Krycek
glances at
Skinner. Thankful for the one true ally
whom he has finally been able to make, since his life went to shit six
years
prior. He picks up his cup, takes a sip,
looks at Scully, smiles a soft smile, and places the cup back down in
front of
him.
I
thought
facing her
would be easy after having convinced Walter of my sincerity, but just
seeing
the animosity coming from those blue eyes, I know I
have my work
cut out for me. Whatever happens in the
future, she has to know that I speak the truth.
The truth that she has been seeking for so long, alongside
Mulder. The truth that has always managed
to elude
her. Even the truth regarding Mulder
will have to be revealed to her. Though
that will have to be at another time.
She is such a strong woman. He
ponders, closing his eyes momentarily; his
eyelashes
sweeping his cheeks. Then he gazes at
her once more, readying himself for what lies ahead.
I just hope she is strong enough. Taking
a deep
breath he
gives her his full attention, and then begins his story.
"When I began
my
career with the FBI, I had dreams of ascertaining the level of success
that you
and Agent Mulder enjoyed." He
pauses to make sure he has her interest.
Satisfied he does, he continues. "You
see,
Agent
Scully, I was not always a ‘Dirtbag’, as you so eloquently put it. I do have a college education, and I have
always wanted to make a difference with the knowledge I gained in
school. I had hopes and dreams of doing
the right
thing, just like you and Mulder. I
had goals. I still do, and I still
intend on accomplishing them.
"However,
first I
need to get this shit, if you’ll pardon my language, out in the
open." He takes a quick sip of his
coffee, noticing her intense gaze upon him.
Scrutinizing his every word.
"Anyway,
while in
the Academy I would listen to the stories about Fox Mulder, as they
came down
through the Bureau, and I was in awe over him.
How he was able to make things that seemed beyond reason
actually make
sense; it was inspiring. Plus, the way
you-with your medical background-could justify his findings with your
scientific knowledge was nothing short of amazing.
"When I
graduated
from
"Yet,
right
from the
start, I was aware that he disliked me.
You were not very happy, either, that I had been paired up with
him. I wanted so much to show the two of
you; to prove to you, especially; I
was worthy of being Mulder’s
partner." He pauses to take another
sip of coffee, shaking slightly. Yet,
not wishing to appear weak in any way, he forces himself to be still. He takes another deep breath, thinking of how
this night might-with any hope-end.
I
want so
badly for
her to believe me.
She has to.
He
finally
proceeds when
he feels her eyes penetrating him, analyzing him for the lies she is
convinced
he will produce.
"Less
than a
week
after I was partnered with Mulder I was approached by Him. The Cigarette Smoking Man, CGB Spender,
"Hence,
being
the
naïve and trusting young man that I was-believing this man to be
an
all-important figure within the government-I listened.
I bought into his lies with every amount of
patriotic confidence I had. Thus, I
became ensnared in his web of trickery, treachery, and even…death…and,
it did
not take me
very long to realize just how badly I had erred in my
judgment of
the man." He ends on a whisper,
chancing a glance at Scully's face, before reverting his attention to
her
hands, watching-transfixed-as they encircle her own cup. Jesus,
they are so
tiny! How can she possibly shoot a
handgun the way she does?
Fearing
she
will not let
him go on, he doesn't pause for very long, and he persists in his
tale-telling
while still gazing-fascinated-at her hands.
"Then
you-don't
say "were abducted"-went missing, and my
world…crumbled. Christ
did it ever!
"I
worked
very hard
to help Mulder find you. I knew,
belatedly, I had done something deeply erroneous by inadvertently
helping that
tar-infected bastard take you; through Duane Barry.
So, after we learned where Barry had taken
you, I tried to make amends. Not just to
Mulder, but also to you, by aiding Mulder with the search on
"I know
that
it
appears I was not on your side at that time, especially concerning what
happened
with the tram operator, and later to Barry, but I was.
And after Barry died, I became desperately
afraid that Mulder was going to either kill himself, or someone else. He was so distraught by your being gone; I
felt I had to do something, only I had no idea as to what.
"I was
also
terrified that, as a result of helping Mulder, I would be killed by
that son of
a bitch Spender for going against his commands.
Plus, the longer the search for you took, the more I realized
that Mulder
would never understand; should he actually find out about my misplaced
duplicity.
"By the
time
you were
found-and returned-I had become convinced that, since Mulder hated me
at that
point; he would be able to turn you against me after you became well
again.
"Agent
Scully, I truly
believed I would be killed by either of them.
Therefore, having decided it would be best for everyone involved
if I
left-especially me-I did. Only
to be
caught
by Spender-again-several months later.
"It was
after
I heard you had made it-and Mulder was back to his old self-I worked
extra hard
to gain back my freedom from that chimney-smoking asshole.
No matter what that son of a bitch pulled on
me, or what he forced me to do in order to gain that freedom, I still
wanted to
clarify to Mulder what had happened. How
I had been approached and conned into believing the lies. And I wanted
to prove to you I was on your side."
Rapt,
Scully
watches Krycek’s face as he speaks, and is startled
when he
ceases; her objective of getting through their conversation-receiving
her
answers-as soon as she possibly can, gradually becoming more imperative
with
every sentence of the past he reveals.
Now, momentarily stunned by the silence, her breath catches, and
she
finds herself abruptly wondering if he will resume. Is
this
too much for
him? Is he having as much of a hard time
telling all of this to me, as I
am with listening to him?
Though, I do have the feeling that if I don't leave somewhat shortly, I may end up hearing a few things that I would rather not have to hear. Yet, I also have the sense that there is something...important...about to be revealed...What is it, damn it?! And, why the hell has he just stopped talking?!
Damn,
I
have such a
headache!
She
takes
another sip
from her own coffee and persists in staring at him; forcing herself to
remain
impassive; as he begins to fidget in his chair.
You'd
better squirm
like the rat you are, Krycek! She
thinks, noting how he looks away from her,
and down at
her cup. Soon, you will see
that you hold no chance in Hell of making me believe you; no matter how
sad
your tale may turn out to be.
She
tightens
her grip,
ever so slightly.
I
hope…
Krycek,
a nervous wreck; more so than he was
when he
first began, starts to sweat. He
can see in her smoldering eyes-whenever he chances a glance at
them-that he is
already treading on thin ice. Inhaling
slowly, he looks to his friend for support, who gives him and
encouraging smile, but instinctively
understands that
this is his situation to deal with, and he feels like an idiot for
being so restless.
"Any
day, Kry..."
"A few
months
later, Bill Mulder was killed, and Mulder thought I committed the
assassination; though I hadn't. I could
never
have done that to him, Scu...Agent Scully! So,
after the
shooting, when you met up with him to take him to safety, I followed. I wanted to try to explain to him what had
happened to his father, so I also went to
"It was
at
that
time, however; when he confronted me in the parking lot, that I knew
the only
option left open to me was to keep running.
It was either I do that, or Mulder would kill me at the first
chance
given to him. He
would
have, too,
if you hadn't shot him that night outside of his apartment building.
"So,
with
my primary goal
being
to stay alive, I pretended to be on Their
side, which, of course, made you and
Mulder believe that I was on their side, and hate me
even
more." He says, as he returns his gaze
back up to her face, and
holds it, allowing her piercing eyes to penetrate into his soul, while
his
mouth utters his declaration. "But
I was not working for Them, Agent
Scully. I simply
went-undercover-so to speak.
"It was
not
until a
few months later, with the incident of your sister, that I knew for
certain that
I had to do something to stop the
suffering we were all enduring. That I
would have to rid
ourselves of
"So, I
put
myself in
that place; in the rank of Spender's lackey so that I could protect
Mulder. To protect…you."
He whispers, abruptly hesitating to proceed,
upon seeing the changing expression on her face. "Agent
Scully? Are you…are you all right?"
"Stop!" She wails, tearing her eyes away
from his and moving to get up from the table, only to lose her balance,
thereby
ending up back in her chair. However,
not allowing her predicament to stop her, she continues; "Don’t you dare
mention what happened to my sister! How
can you possibly sit there and deny it, you bastard?!
You killed her! You
God damned son of a bitch! You killed
her! How can you say to me that you didn't? I have the fucking ballistics tests that prove
it!" She shrieks, desperately
fighting back tears. Jesus,
the
last
thing I want to do is cry in front of Alex "Rat Bastard" Krycek!
"Agent
Scully,
please! Listen to me.
I didn't
kill her!" He rushes to assert, knowing
she will not
believe him, but feeling an intense need to convince her otherwise. I
have to
make her see
that I am telling the truth. Fuck!
I have never felt so
helpless. How do I convince her that I
am not lying?!
"Oh,
please,
Krycek! Ballistics proved that the
weapon used was the same as the one used to kill Mulder’s father! You can't sit there and deny you killed him
either, because Mulder told me he saw you at the scene, and I would
certainly
believe him over you any day of the
week!
Therefore, do not sit there
looking…distressed…for God's
sake, and tell me that you didn't kill my sister Melissa!"
Scully yells, her hands now clenched into
fists; enraged, as she fights
every urge in her body-and mind-to keep from leaving.
I
should get the hell out of here.
I
should hit
him.
Or,
better
yet, rush
for my gun and shoot the lying prick!
Holy
Mary
Mother of
God, why am I even allowing myself to be subjected to this bullshit? I should really just go home.
Go home, and forget I ever saw this
son of a bitch-again!
"There
is no
way
Mulder saw me at his father's house! I
fled out the window, before he even entered the bathroom!
Dana, I did not
kill Melissa! It's
true, I was there when she was shot,
but I didn't do it! Hell,
I didn't even want to be there, except that he had a
contract
out on you; that bastard Spender!
"I
couldn't
allow
your death to happen! I only went to
your apartment so that I could protect you!
I even contemplated killing Cardinal, after making him
confess
that he had killed Mister Mulder, so then we could
explain to
Mulder the truth of what happened. So
you would finally see that I was on your side! Only, it didn't turn out the way that I had
wanted. It never
did.
"Instead,
your sister walked in; startling us, and Cardinal simply took a shot in
the dark. It was not until after he had
fled the scene
that I realized it was your sister.
Because I didn't flee, Dana. Not
initially. No, I stayed! I
wanted to make sure that you would be all
right; as at first, I thought she was you.
Yet, it was her, so I called 911, and then I, too, escaped. I got scared, so I did the cowardly thing,
and left the scene. I am
so sorry, Dana. So fucking
sorry." He admits, moving to take
her hand in his. To convince her of the
sincerity of his words.
Scully
jerks
back in her
chair and succeeds in standing, almost knocking the chair to the floor
in her
haste to retreat from him. "Don’t
fucking touch me, you asshole!
Stop fucking calling me 'Dana'!
I told you it is 'Agent Scully' to you, you bastard!" She
screams, trying to keep control of her
emotions, so as not to end up crumpling to the floor.
Gripping
the
edge of the
table, she stares at him and takes a few deep breaths, needing to calm
her
heart rate. This
is
definitely not
good for the baby!
Skinner
stands,
having known
Krycek's statement would be hard for Scully to hear, and walks
hastily
into the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water.
"I am
sorry, Agent
Scully. Please, forgive
me. I didn't realize how badly this
information would affect you. I am
sorry. I will not try to touch you
again. I promise." Krycek
replies, pulling his hand back to his
own side of the table. He then turns his
attention to Skinner, as the man returns with water for Scully.
Skinner
looks
at him
sympathetically. Nevertheless, they had
both known that this would not be an easy conversation for Krycek to
have. Especially with Dana
Scully. So, he merely shrugs and makes
his way to the distraught woman before him.
"Here,
Dana. Drink this." Skinner
implores, handing over the
glass. After she takes the glass he
looks down at her, noting her pained expression, but not knowing what
else he
can do for her. He sighs, and retakes
his seat, catching her gaze as he gets comfortable.
Scully
glares
across the
table at him, over the rim of her glass; her eyes clearly showing how
angry she
is that he, one of her dearest friends, has deceived her.
She swallows, lowers her hand and seethes;
her agitation palpable.
"I
can't
believe
that I am actually still here listening to these lies, and because of you,
of all people, Walter!" She rages
at him, as she again raises the glass and drinks another sip of the
cool
liquid, hoping it will calm her fraying nerves.
She
turns and
narrows her gaze at his houseguest, while moving to stand at the arm of
the
couch. She glances down at her weapon
among the folds of her coat, taking comfort in its closeness, and then
returns
her full attention to Krycek; pleased by his stunned reaction to her
quiet
indication of possible death.
"What
else do
you
have? What other bullshit fabrications
do you wish to tell me?"
"I am
not
deceiving
you, Agent Scully. I didn'tkill your
sister, and I didn't kill Mister Mulder.
I was there, yes, but I wasn't the one who killed him. Mulder
simply walked in at the wrong time,
and-especially because he saw me later that night-assumed that I had
committed
the act. He hates me that much. However, it wasn't me. It
had been Cardinal.
"The
Syndicate had
Mulder's father killed because he was against the Project.
I couldn't have killed him, Agent
Scully. I was against the
Project myself. But, damn it, I was trying
to keep myself alive, and the only way I knew how to do that was to
pretend I
was one of Them! Yet, there was no way
in Hell I could kill the father of Agent Mulder. I
looked up to Mulder for God’s sake!"
Scully
flinches at both
his words and his raised tone, causing him to go silent,
his eyes
widening upon seeing her recoil. "I am
sorry. I didn't mean to shout, nor
frighten
you."
"You
are a fucking liar!" She exclaims,
recovering
quickly, more than slightly miffed at herself for having reacted to
him, and
being caught. "You are full of
shit, Krycek! I should have let
Mulder shoot you! Instead, I put a
bullet through his shoulder and saved your
sorry
ass! And what for? What
did I get in return? You killed my sister!" She retorts between clenched teeth, still
pissed at herself for allowing his tone of voice to bother her. Still not believing a word he says.
He
smiles at
her,
appreciatively. "Thank you for
saving my life, Agent Scully. No one has
ever done that. Wanted to spare
my life, I mean. That is one reason why
I have always made sure that you were protected. Even
if you never saw me, I have been
watching your back."
"You
have got
to be
kidding! You expect me to believe
this? That you didn't kill our family
members? Also, that you have been
protecting
me? Well, I hate to break it to you,
Krycek, but I didn't shoot Mulder to save your
life. I shot him to protect his! Nor, do I need your
protection! Not now, not ever! Therefore, you can feel free to stop at any
time. In addition, why the sudden change
of heart? Why have you felt the sudden
urge to confess these…these…hell, I don't even know what to call what
it is
you are doing. What made you think that
I would believe you? Why now?" On a
roll,
she turns to
Walter, and shakes her small fist in anger.
"And you?!
You do
believe him? Why on Earth would you,
out of everyone else involved in this mess, believe him? Need I remind you of what he has done to
you?" She asks, visibly shaking,
her anger threatening to overcome her rationality.
Skinner
keeps
silent,
taking her fury in stride, recognizing that her questions-in her mind
at least-are justified.
After a
moment she
appears to noticeably relax enough for Krycek to take hold of the
situation,
and continue. Though he is now
even more worried about her emotional well being. We should
have waited until she had the
baby. This emotional roller coaster she
is riding can't possibly be healthy for either herself, or her child.
"I am
confessing to
you because I am tired of all of the lies, Agent Scully.
I'm weary of having to look over my shoulder
every fucking day of my life, because of things that I didn't even
carry
out. I'm not one to back down from a
fight, as a rule, and I am sick of others trying to tell me how to live
my
life; dominating my existence.
"My
parents
would be
extremely ashamed if they knew what my life has become.
I can't keep living like this! I won't! It's
time for the truth to come out, Agent Scully.
Time for me to be in control of my own destiny. To stop letting someone else do the
controlling."
"You
have
parents?" Scully interjects with a
laugh. "Somehow, Krycek, I can't
picture you as ever having had parents.
Parents, good parents, do not usually tend to rear murderers." She counters, aware that her vindictiveness
is excessive, but not giving a damn. Her anger
making her feel the need to lash out at him, in any way
possible. She is
about
to go on,
say something else to bring him down, yet, the sudden look of anguish
on his
face renders her silent, and she stares at him-shocked.
What the hell?!
He can
only look at
her-dismayed-and then turn away. Fuck! Did
she have to say that?!
As if I don't feel guilty enough, and thank
God-every day-that my mother is not alive to see what a poor
excuse for
a son I have become? Jesus Christ!
Walter was a piece of cake compared to this
woman!
Unexpectedly,
Scully feels very guilty for her bitchy remark, and wishes she
could take
it back. Instead, she too, looks
away. Feeling very ashamed of herself. Now
why in
God's name
should I care if I just hurt him or not?
Could
it
be because he
might be telling the truth? Do I, maybe, want to believe
him? Is
it
because he did
call 911 for Missy? I mean, what kind of
contract killer does that?
Shit,
this
is
definitely getting to be too fucking much!
Realizing
that things are swiftly racing out of control, Skinner
again rises to his feet and
hurriedly walks over to the end table in the corner of the room. I
have to
try and take
control of this situation, before she really loses her handle on her
emotions. Or Alex loses his courage to
tell her everything.
I
can't
allow this to
become a war of words. She
has to
believe
him, or we will never survive what is threatening to come.
She
watches
curiously, as
he picks up something small, metallic. He
brings it to the table, and sets it down in
front of her chair. Reluctantly, she
walks over from her position at the couch, and peers down at the small
box. Whatever
it is, it
appears to be an over-sophisticated Palm Pilot.
She
settles
back down in
the chair, more to try to stop her shaking, than because of any
persistent
interest in what he has placed on the table.
She pretends to visually examine the device, while struggling to
keep
herself from looking over at Krycek, still feeling guilty for her
earlier barb. Have
I
really changed
so much in the past six months? Am I
really such a cold-hearted bitch, now, that I would make such remarks
about a
man’s parents? Christ, that makes me no
better than he is!
Damn
it
Dana! Just go home!
Oh
will
you please,
shut up?!
"I
believe
Alex,
Dana, because of this." Skinner
quietly informs her.
"What is
this?" She asks, working to piece
together in her mind what the instrument is for, yet finding herself
unable to make any connections. "It just
looks like a PDA. What the hell is so
special about a personal
organizer, Walter?"
"This
contraption
controls the nanobots that lie dormant in my bloodstream."
He answers rather tersely, noting with a
small bit of satisfaction the shock in her eyes, as she abruptly looks
up at
him-comprehension dawning. "Alex handed it
over to me the
night I first met him after Mulder disappeared; when he confessed
everything to
me. The same night he came to me for
help. For…forgiveness.
This is how I know he is
telling the truth, Dana. He could have
killed me at any time, on the spot, and without anyone knowing the
wiser that I
had not suffered from a mere heart attack."
She
reverts
her attention
to the tabletop and carefully picks up the machine, giving it a closer
look; her brain making the connections of Skinner's words faster-now
that she
understands the significance of what she holds in her hand. God
Almighty! I watched what those things did
to
Walter! I know, first hand, how rapidly
they nearly destroyed him!
And,
Krycek
simply gave it up to him?!
She
peers at Walter as
he sits down once more, her confusion clearly showing in her eyes, and
then
chances a glance across the table; finding Krycek to be staring at
her-pensively.
She
focuses
on something
new, something about his features that takes shape as she looks at him,
and his
expression holds her attention. He
looks
like a scared
little boy!
She realizes, and then her conscience gets
the better of her.
Look
in
his eyes,
Dana. What do you see?
Something else
that I never thought I would witness.
Not from him. Oh,
God. Such…sadness.
Remorse. And what is that?
Longing?
For
what?!
She
forces
herself to
break eye contact, and turns away from him; thereby missing the drop of
his own
gaze to the table, as she-in his mind-blatantly rejects him.
Then,
after a
few more
moments of brittle silence, she whispers-surprising herself yet again. "This can't possibly be
happening."
"What?" Both men reply in unison, each unconsciously
leaning toward the soft sound of her voice.
"I
can’t
explain it;
hell, it’s probably just hormones, but…"
She pauses, looking back up at Krycek; searching for the
slightest sign
of a lie, of betrayal. How
is it
that I can
find none? Why
is it
that I only
see…honesty…and…pain?
He is in
pain?!
This
revelation astounds
her to her very core, but not nearly as much as what she hears from her
own
mouth a moment later.
"I
believe
you." She quietly admits; staring at
the man across from her as she states her true feelings; taking no
satisfaction
from his eyes widening in shock. "I don't
trust you, Alex Krycek, but I believe that what you have told me
here
tonight is true." She pauses for a
moment as she looks between the two men. "Everything
you have
said is too bizarre for it to be a lie.
Working on the X-Files for more than eight
and a half years has at least taught me one thing:
Don't always believe in what you think
should be true. Believe in what is shown
to be true.
"By
your
handing
over this…device…to Walter, you have indirectly proven to me that you
are not
lying. If only because I know-first hand
as a doctor-the power that you held in your grasp with this…thing." She concedes, dropping the Palm Pilot to the
table as if it were too hot to touch.
She then returns her attention to Skinner, more than a little
baffled. "If you now have control of this,
why
did you not destroy it?"
As he
watches
her revert
her interest to his friend, the relief that washes over Krycek is
indescribable, and he lets out the breath that he had not realized he
was
holding. I can't
believe it,
she fucking believes me!
He
forces
himself to do
his best and pay attention to the conversation before him, all the
while
gripping the underside of the dining room table to keep from falling
over in
amazement. Christ,
I
can't
believe she actually believes me!
"Dana,
I kept it
because I knew I would need it for just this purpose.
To give you tangible proof. Something
you could hold onto with your
hands. Isn’t that why it took you so
long to believe in the aliens? Because
you didn’t have the proof to hold? Now
you have Mulder. He is
proof. That, and the fact that I know you
saw that ship in
She
turns
back to Krycek
and peers at him, questioningly.
He
looks away.
There
is
no way in
Hell that I am going to go into that
story right now. No way.
After a
moment; and still feeling
her gaze upon him, he returns her stare, and sends her a smile
that
lights up his face; making her heart skip a beat.
She
startles
at her
reaction and looks from his intense eyes toward the floor; immediately
feeling like a complete bitch for her earlier remark. Then, taking
a deep
breath, she
returns her gaze to him, and decides on the spur of the moment to right
her
wrong.
"I
am sorry about the comment I made regarding your parents.
It was irrelevant and uncalled for. These…misunderstandings…are
between us, and I
should have kept it that way."
Watching
her
intently,
and reading her body language-which he has actually become quite good
at-he knows she truly is sorry.
Therefore, with a slight shrug he softly replies, "It's all
right. I understand why you would feel the need to lash out at
me, given
our history. Don't think anything else
of it." However, I will still
make things up to you, Dana. Somehow.
She
stares at
him
blankly, as though she is actually seeing him for the
first time,
and her heart goes out to him, before she too, finds herself turning
away-bewildered. What
is
wrong with
me? Did I just feel an attraction
to this man?
Sweet
Jesus, I must be
losing my mind!
Trying
to regain control over her erratic emotions, she
takes a sip of her water,
knowing instinctively that she is failing.
Damn
hormones.
Placing
her
glass on the
table, she again gives him her attention and asks, "Is there more? Surely there must be. I
mean, you both can't just sit here and
tell me that these horrendous events didn't happen the way I have both
thought-and been told-that they have for all of these years. What else is there? Also,
as it
appears
that you have joined our little team, albeit in secret,"
she turns to glare at Skinner, "what
now, Walter? How am I going to explain
all of this to Mulder? He is already in
a fragile state. Telling him about
Krycek’s…innocence? You know he will be
harder to convince than I have been. How are you going to prove
to him that Krycek is not some form of
monster. It may just send him over the
edge for good!"
"Alex
and I
are
working on those issues, Dana. However,
we both agreed from the beginning that whenever Mulder was told, you
would have to be present. He only trusts
you. I mean, he does trust me to an
extent, but you he trusts completely. He
will listen to you, Dana."
"Me? What could I possibly do to help you
introduce Krycek into the picture? He
will go for his throat at the first opportunity he gets, and you know
that! He…Mulder has absolutely no
restraint when it comes to this man, and as such, I don't see how I
could help
the two of you to get him to listen!"
"Think
about
it,
with you in the room backing us up, he will have to realize that Alex
speaks
the truth. The bond you two share is
exactly why
we decided that we had to talk to you, first.
Before we approached Mulder."
"Damn
it,
Walter! He will think that I have
betrayed him!"
"Dana,
listen
to
me! Face it, you are far easier to talk
to than Mulder is. He gets something in
his
mind and it becomes virtually impossible to change it.
We all know that. You-at least-have the capacity to
sit and listen, before you judge something.
Mulder, no matter how much I love him like a kid brother, always
has the
tendency to fly off the handle."
"To be
honest, I am
not sure how much he trusts me now, Walter.
He didn't believe me about…about this child being his." She regretfully admits, turning away from the
both of them, ashamed once more.
What
did she just say?!
Shit, can’t this woman catch a break either?
Krycek wonders,
shocked by her confession. Quite abruptly,
he
finds himself intensely hurting for her and it makes him angry. So, that is why she looked like she
had been crying. Damn
you,
Mulder, if I
saw you right now I would probably wring your idiotic neck!
Unaware
of
the threats
being made across from her, Scully inhales deeply, and returns her
attention to the men. "Tell
me
more, Alex. Please.
I want you to tell me…everything."
She states, wishing to forget about the fight she had with
Mulder. That
argument sent me
running here in the first place.
How
ironic!
I
leave one man, whom even after
eight years
of working side by side; saving each other's lives, will not believe me
about
his own child...Only to come here and end
up, myself, believing another man, our sworn enemy. A
man
whose only wish,
it appears, has been to tell me the God-awful truth-and for quite a
long time.
This
is
insane!
Alex
watches
her, a
little stunned by the fact she called him by his first name. Is
that a
good sign?
He wonders,
looking to Skinner for a bit of guidance.
After receiving a reassuring nod, he turns back to Scully and
launches
into spinning his version of the last several years. Revealing
for
her
everything he had previously confessed to Walter, and then some.
From
his first meeting with Cancerman, as a
young graduate from
Everything
that is,
except for what happened to him in
During his narrative she occasionally interrupts him to ask questions, which he honestly-and patiently-answers, and then she becomes silent once more, allowing him to proceed.
For the
most part, she simply sits and listens to him speak, too
stunned to interrupt, as unfolds his story. Giving her more
information than she knows what to actually do with.
I
can't
understand
how this man isn't bitter about life, after what he has been
through. How he doesn't hate my
guts. If I were to be absolutely honest
with
myself, he didn't actually
kill Missy. So, my hatred of him over the
past
few years has most certainly been unjustified.
Even if I was "siding" with Mulder, I still should have given
him the benefit of the doubt, until his guilt was actually proven.
Ballistics are one thing, but it still doesn't mean he pulled the
trigger. Which I already knew...but still. Hell, I now what
I was really doing was using him as an excuse to keep my anger toward
the real bastard who is at fault. Spender.
I am so glad to hear that he is dead.
How
can Alex
sit there
in front of me and want to make friends?
Shit, if I were him, I would try to stay as far away from Mulder
and
myself, as I could get!
When
Krycek
becomes quiet on
his own, and she can see that he is finished-at least for this
evening-she
finds herself giving him a small smile; shocking him in the process.
Why
the
hell is she
smiling at me?
"Thank
you
for
having the guts to face a possible bullet from me, Alex, and actually
telling
me the truth. Even if it was something
that I was not prepared to hear, I am glad that you
came out with your
confession. However, there is
something I must know…Alex... Alex?!
Why do I keep calling him by his first name all of a sudden? "Why did you do this?"
"What
do you
mean?" He asks, still struggling
with her abrupt change in behavior.
"Please,
don't
misunderstand me. I am very grateful that you have come forth and
told me
the truth. However, clearly you have the
option of walking away-of starting over.
Now that Spender is dead, you can go out and build that life you
want. Why tell me any of this? Why me?
Why now? If I
were in
your
shoes, I would probably stay as far away from me as possible, truth be
damned. Especially, because of the pain
that Mulder and I have caused you over the past several
years. Unjustly, I might add."
He
stares at
her,
absolutely perplexed that she would even entertain the idea that he
would not
come forth with the truth. She
actually believes I should hate her
How could I possibly hate her?
She's just as much a victim of all of this, as I am!
"Don’t
you
see,
Agent Scully? You deserve
to know the truth of what has happened.
How could I possibly start over with my life, knowing that you
are out
there living yours, and hating my guts because of a lie?
A pack of lies begun long ago because of something that
neither one of us had any control over?
"If I
kept
the truth
from you it would make me…why…it would make me just as bad as those men
of the
Syndicate were! You ought to know the
truth. Mulder needs to hear it, as well,
but especially you! You
have
lost so
damn much because of this shit! Not only
your sister, but also your bout with…"
He trails off and stares down at his hands, unable to bring
himself to
actually say the word-finding it to be too painful. After a
moment he raises
his head, and peers at her through his long, dark lashes, continuing
with his
declaration. Not realizing that her
sudden intake of breath has nothing to do with his words.
"I
could
never hate
you, Agent Scully. Now,
Mulder?" He lightly chuckles.
"Yes, there have been plenty of times
that I could recall having a reason to hate him, but I don't, and
never you. You
did not
do a
fucking thing to anyone, Agent Scully! Except
your
job! Yet, you suffered.
Suffered so…needlessly. I could
never hate you. In fact, I admire you. You are a very strong woman.
Much stronger than even I would have
anticipated you to be when we first met."
She
watches him,
completly mystified. I
can't
understand how
this man, this man-who has lost so much in his own life, hell
even a
part of his body in the quest for the truth; a truth that he
did not ask
to be a part of-can possibly sit in front of me, and tell me that he
thinks I
am the strong one.
"I am
not
that
strong." She counters softly.
"To be honest, I have come so close to
quitting, so many damn times, I have lost count." She
admits, her voice rising a little as she
gazes at him squarely.
"Actually,
if
it
were not for Mulder’s certainty that we were close to finding the
truth; I
would have given up long ago. Given up,
because I have lost so much.
However, Mulder was always so damn sure that we would find it;
the
truth, and I believed him. It was only
later when I, subsequent to experiencing things that I can't even
begin
to explain-nor deny-found myself believing, too. I came
to
believe
that If I quit They would win. That
became my personal motto. However, then…
"Then It
happened, and I found myself determined to carry on with his quest. Except, not just for him, but for myself. I wanted to know why.
Why was he taken? Why
him, and not me? Why in
"Yet in
the
end,
after months of a grueling search-and putting up with the 'Skeptic of
Skeptics'-what occurred? I most
certainly did not find the answers I was looking for, Alex. Nope. Instead, my partner finally found Mulder.
Dead!
So, They did win, Alex, and I lost.
"The
only
reason I
am even alive right now is because of this child.
Otherwise, had I not been pregnant, I would
have ended it three months ago in
"I've
often wondered how I could possibly keep going. Pondered over the
whys of my still being here. After we buried Mulder, why didn't I
just leave? Only, now Mulder is actually alive, so I do have some
hope back, Alex. And, you have courageously
told me that Spender is truly dead.
Yet, I still don't have all my answers, and I am
so fucking tired, Alex, I can't even see straight!"
The men
look
at her, dumbstruck. Neither one-as they
can see by each other's
expressions-had any idea that she had actually contemplated suicide.
What
the
hell do you
say to that?
They silently ask each other with a look.
Krycek
merely
shrugs, and
Skinner-feeling utterly powerless-returns his attention to the petite
woman
sitting before him.
Unaware
of
the reasoning
behind the silence, Scully raises her head, and looks at
Krycek. "Of course, I guess it is a good
thing
that I didn’t kill myself, isn't it? Because he is alive?
How, though Alex? How is Mulder alive?
I
have no explanation to give him, and no one seems to have one to give
me. So, now I am even more determined to find out why he was
taken,
and why
all of this shit happened to us in the first place! To
Mulder,
to me,
to Walter, and even…even to you, Alex.
Why? That is all I want to
know. Why?"
"I want
that
as
well, Agent Scully." He responds
softly, still feeling unnerved by her earlier statement of having
pondered
suicide.
She
nods at
him, and
glances at the clock on the wall over his shoulder. God! It
is one-forty-five
in
the freakin'
morning! I
should
really go
home and get some sleep. However, with
everything that has gone on today, I just know I wouldn't.
But,
damn,
I am so
tired!
She
quickly
glances back
at Krycek, and cringes as a realization strikes her.
Jesus,
I
must look a
sight! Hell,
I
can almost feel
the dark splotches developing under my eyes from lack of sleep. She thinks,
hard-pressed to stifle the yawns that seem to have appeared out of
nowhere.
"Are
you okay, Dana?" Skinner asks, taking note
of her fatigue, but
still wanting to continue the conversation if she's up to it.
"Yes,
Walter?" She asks sleepily, smiling
at him as she subconsciously starts rubbing her belly.
"What
exactly
happened tonight between yourself and Mulder?
I only ask, because I am concerned about your well-being and
that of
your child. Also, Dana, I am sorry if
Alex and I have only added to your stress."
"I am
fine,
Walter. What you did was necessary and I
can see that, now." She pauses,
looks away a moment, and then returns her gaze to him; assured by the
look in
his eyes that he still cares. It gives her
the courage to continue, even with Krycek in the room. "We had
an
argument." She replies, mostly to
herself, as she turns her attention to the floor.
"Can
you believe it? We have not seen each
other in six
months and when we are finally together again, we have a
fight. Over the baby, no
less." She glances up at Skinner,
and then gives her attention to Krycek.
"It was
so
fucking
stupid; for me to think that he would take the news without casting
doubt into
my face. He distrusts everything else,
why the hell should what I had to say have been any different?" She asks rhetorically, lowering her gaze back
down to her coffee cup, instantly wishing for another sip of hazelnut,
though
her mug is empty-and it is extremely late.
Krycek
senses her
desire, and stands to retrieve her another cup from the kitchen.
"Thank
you." She replies a few moments
later, when he sits back down after refilling her cup, and placing the
coffee pot
on top of a turret in the center of the table.
She smiles at him graciously, and then resumes staring at the
rising
steam, as if it alone can ease her pain by being an emotionless,
inanimate
object.
All of
a sudden,
she
feels a
strong urge to pick up the mug and throw it at the far wall; wanting to
believe
that the thousands of shards of ceramic it would produce could give her
some
sort of satisfaction; a release for all of her travail. "He
accused
me of
being unfaithful." She reveals,
instead, her voice husky with suppressed emotion.
"Dana,
you
don't
have to…"
"No,
Walter, it's
all right." She reassures with a
small smile, and a wave of her hand.
"Actually, I find it pretty damn funny-now!
Can you believe he
spoke to me as though we had been an
'item'?" She asks sarcastically,
chuckling as she struggles to maintain her tattering composure. "Right.
That is hilarious!
We were partners for eight years, and he never made a move on
me-outside
of innuendo, and then…then one…the one night we did spend together…
"I
honestly
don't
know if that night was more to ease our perpetual loneliness, or…or if
it was
his way of trying to make me feel better after learning about a failed
love affair I had had about ten years ago; you know, a mercy fuck."
Krycek
flinches at her
choice of words, and clenches his right hand underneath the table. That son of a bitch! If
I ever get my hands on him…
"In any
case," Scully continues, again
peering down, "it doesn't matter. Soon after, he, too, was gone.
Only
to…" She sighs tiredly.
"Only
to come back, find me pregnant,
and then have the fucking nerve to accuse me of sleeping around! When the hell did I ever sleep around
before?" She inquires; as she
looks up at Skinner and shrugs, before closing her eyes.
"Yet, I
am
supposed
to be barren." She quietly
reminds the two men. "Doesn’t Mulder remember
that?"
She asks, pausing for a moment, before
opening her eyes again, and smiling broadly.
"Well, I will tell you this much, gentlemen.
I don't care what he thinks; this child is a
miracle for me. One which I can't even
begin to explain, and he must be the father, for I have
been with
no other. He
even went
so far
as to actually accuse me of sleeping with you, Walter." She reveals with a slight smirk, still
unable-even now-to believe that Mulder had made the accusation.
"What?!" Skinner
exclaims-more than a little stunned.
Krycek's
eyebrows arch
in surprise. What
in
God's name
would give Mulder that idea? He
wonders, noting the baffled expression
crossing Skinner's face, and realizing that he, too, is having the same
thought.
"That
was my
reaction, too!" Scully replies, watching Skinner's face.
"He
proclaimed the baby to
be yours, can you believe that crap?"
She questions, her tone rising.
"Yours! You can only imagine
how angry I became when…" She
pauses a moment, and blushes. "Not because I wouldn't…with you…" She
stammers, and before sighing. "Hell, you know what I
mean."
Skinner
nods in
understanding, not wishing for her to feel uncomfortable by her
admission, though still perplexed by Mulder's suspicions.
"But,
being
accused
of sleeping with one of my dearest friends, and so soon after he
disappeared? Shit! What
type of person does he really think I
am?" She inquires, her voice
cracking. "He
refused
to
listen to me until, of course, when I was walking out.
I wasn't going to just stand there another
fucking second and be accused of being a liar.
Or a slut. Most certainly not by
Fox Mulder." She asserts, taking a
sip of her freshened coffee; gathering her thoughts.
"Predictably,
he
called
out to me
before I left the room and, again predictably, I stopped.
When
I finally turned to him; he pleaded for
me to stay, as if..." She starts chuckling
again, "as if he may have started to
believe. But, most likely it was because
he realized I truly was leaving, and
he didn't want to be left alone. Anyway,
whatever his motivation, by the time
I had my coat on I was tired of listening to him, and wanted nothing
more than
to leave. So, I simply glared at him
and…" She again trails off, once more
lowering her gaze to her hands.
"And
what,
Agent
Scully?" Krycek asks, very
troubled by the fact that the entire event had even taken place. She
has
wanted a child
for such a lengthy time. And she has
waited for so long to tell Mulder about finally having her wish granted. From what Walter has told me, I know that
she was hoping he would be as happy about its existence, as she is. But this? This
is absolutely crazy!
"Dana. Please, call me Dana." She
offers shyly, as she looks across the table. "Please."
Krycek
stares
at her, his
mouth opening in shock. She wants
me to
call her Dana? After a
moment more of silence, he blushes, and finds his voice. "Excuse
me?"
She
smiles widely,
realizing with a start that she is actually enjoying the look of
complete awe
on his face. Oh
God,
what the hell
is wrong with me? "I said
you
may call
me Dana." She repeats.
"Please.
It is my name, after all. Outside
of Mulder's presence, I much prefer to be called by my first name."
"All
right. What happened then, Dana?" He
questions, her name falling from his
tongue quite naturally; much to his astonishment.
She
narrows
her eyes, a bit uncertain about his sincerity,
yet-unexpectedly-yearning to believe
from the soft tone of his voice that he is interested in
knowing what became
of her
argument. "I told
him
to go to
Hell, Alex, and then I came here." She
states quietly, wearily. Then, not
caring anymore about how she must look, she begins to cry. Damn
hormones!
Both
men are
astounded,
to say the least. They know from
experience that she never allows anyone to see her pain,
unless
it is absolutely unavoidable, and it is unnerving to witness.
Simultaneously,
they
stand from their chairs, unable to resist the pull of her distraught
emotions
being bared before them. Each wanting to
comfort her; desperately.
Skinner
walks
around the
table, moves behind her, gently picks her up from the chair, and then
carries
her to the couch; quite surprised when she doesn't put up a fight. As he lays her down, Krycek runs up the
stairs, retrieves a blanket from the guest room and, upon his return,
places
it over her exhausted body.
She
looks up
at them and
smiles gratefully, tears still sliding down her cheeks.
"Thank
you. Thank you both. Normally
I am not such a girl,
but I am just so…drained…by everything that has happened.
I am so damn worn out from having to be
strong. First because of Mulder going missing, and now…now
tonight…what
with
arguing with him, and then....Well, I don't know how much
more of this I can handle. Furthermore,
to be
truly honest, I don't know how much more of any of this shit I want
to handle." She admits, looking
away and beginning to shake, her body crumpling against the back of the
sofa as
she sobs.
It
takes
every ounce of
willpower in Krycek’s being to keep himself from reaching out for her,
to take
her into his arms and wipe her tears away. I
promised
her that I
would not touch her, but Christ this is so fucking hard!
I swear to God, I am going to beat that
bastard to within an inch of his newfound life!
In
keeping
with his
promise, he instead sits down at the end of the couch near her feet,
and
achingly watches her; placing his hands into his own lap.
Skinner
suddenly feels
awkward, as he watches her break down, and quickly returns to the
kitchen to
refill her water glass. As he walks back
into the living room, he pulls a chair from the dining table and sets
it near
the couch. He then sits down and smiles
gently at her as she opens her eyes. He
slowly reaches out with the glass, and looks on silently, as she takes
a sip.
"Better?" He asks, a few moments after she has drunk
some of the water.
"Yes,
thank
you." She states, giving him a
small smile, and then turning toward the man at her feet.
What are you thinking, Alex? She
wonders as she looks at him, and sees
that he is gazing tenderly at her, seconds before an unforeseen insight
strikes, as she takes another drink. He
really
is a very
handsome man. Almost…pretty, even…but in
a masculine way, of course. He could
certainly not be the monster I have envisioned him to be for so many
years, could
he? Surely that must be why I was able
to use his first name so easily. He is
merely a man. He can't be a cold-blooded
killer? Can he?
Oh
my God! What am I thinking? I must
be tired if I am actually pondering how cute Alex Krycek is!
Jesus,
I
have
completely lost my mind! She abruptly
chides herself, while lowering her
glass and
swallowing quickly to keep from choking.
She swiftly closes her eyes to gain control over her thoughts.
Only to
find,
when she
opens them again; he is still watching her.
"What?!" She hisses, unable to deal with both his
mysterious expression, and her own turbulent emotions.
He
abruptly
looks away,
and blushes. Feeling more than a little
annoyed. Damn,
Alex. Just gawk at her, why don’t you?
"Nothing. I'm…I am sorry, Dana. It
is just that; this is very surreal to
me." He says, returning his gaze to
her; his expression neutral. "I
mean, I can't believe you didn't shoot me, even with Walter here to
stop
you. You know, shoot first, and ask
questions later. That type of
thing. I simply…I find it extremely
difficult to fathom that I'm even sitting here on this couch, watching
you
drink a
glass of water."
She
winces;
humiliated for the biting tone she used.
"I am sorry, Alex. I didn't
mean to sound so harsh. I feel much the
same way. This is very…odd, to say the
least. Is there anything else you would
like to tell me?" She asks with a slight
smile; sipping
from her cup.
Not
without really
getting shot.
His mind quips, as he bites his lower
lip. He returns his attention to his
lap, wanting to avoid her piercing eyes.
"Just
that I
wish I
could turn back time and change everything.
Give you back your sister. Keep
you from getting sick, and prevent every other bad thing that has
happened to
you, due to my cowardice." He
confesses, chancing another look at her, and finding her to be silently
crying. Fuck! Now look at what
you have done! He admonishes, his face
ashen as he wrings his hands together.
"Don’t
worry,
Alex." She replies softly through
her tears. "I cry at just about
everything these days. Even commercials
can
put me into an emotional state. It's my
damn hormones." She says with a
chuckle.
Are
you
sure is it
simply hormones, Dana? Her mind
interjects.
Shut
up. She demands of
her
rational side, having no desire to begin arguing with herself, again. Instead, she contradicts her own nature, and
does
something she never in her life thought she would find herself doing.
You
really
want to do
this?
Yes.
Smiling
gently, she sits
up and leans forward, before pulling Krycek's right hand from his lap,
and placing
it between both of hers in her own, as she simultaneously asks, "Can
you
forgive me, Alex?"
Skinner
stares at her
incredulously, while Krycek unconsciously begins to shed tears, stunned
that she
would want his forgiveness. "Dana
it is
very
hard to forgive you, when there is nothing for me to forgive. You did nothing wrong to me, nor to anyone
else. Shit, you saved my
life. Your hatred toward me was
justified in your mind, so I can't hold it against you.
Yet, you still put a bullet into Mulder to
save my life, even though you couldn't stand the sight of me.
"It's
I who
should
be on my knees; begging for your forgiveness for having
failed in
my attempts at keeping you safe, for allowing your sister to die." He glances down, suddenly finding the blanket
across her lap to be of high interest. I can't
look at you,
Dana, or I will most certainly lose control over my already shaken
emotions.
How
is
God's name can
you stand to look at me? And you want my
forgiveness?
Jesus! You must not be feeling very well.
Noticing
he
has tensed
within her grasp, and how he refuses to look her way; Scully inhales
deeply,
and not knowing if it is her overactive hormones that cause her do it,
or for
the simple fact that she is overwhelmed at the sight of Alex Krycek
crying
openly, she takes her hands from his and pulls him into a tight
embrace-as
carefully
as she can considering the life she is carrying-and lays his head on
her chest,
as though he were a small child.
Besieged by an intense desire to comfort him while he
weeps. "I
forgive
you,
Alex." She whispers quietly.
"I promise you, somehow, someway,
everything will be all right."
Unable
to
restrain
himself any longer, Alex breaks down against Scully's small body, and
cries
like he has not cried since he was a little boy.
"Shhh,
Alex. It will be okay.
I
promise.
It will be okay." Scully
soothes, ignoring her own tears, as they fall down her cheeks. "Just let it out. It
will be all right."
Skinner
quietly rises
from his chair, as he watches the amazing sight in front of him,
feeling the
sudden need to leave the two of them alone in their despair-and comfort. Replacing his chair at the table, he whispers
to Scully that he will be right back, before walking out of the room to
use the
phone upstairs in his bedroom.
Sitting
on
his bed;
waiting for the line to be picked up on the other end of his call,
Skinner
ponders the events of the last few hours.
Still quite stunned by how well the conversation has ended
between his
two friends. Who
would
have ever
thought that Dana Scully would be able to forgive Alex Krycek? I know she must be suffering from sensory
overload, however, I am glad she and Alex seem to have made amends. I am sure that it will make the next step
easier.
At
least...I
hope it will.
"Hello, Agent
Reyes,
it’s A.D. Skinner."
"Good
morning,
Sir."
Startled, he
glances at
the watch on his left wrist. Damn! 2:26
in the
morning! No
wonder I am so damn tired.
"Sorry to
call at
such an hour. But, I wanted to inform
you that Agent Scully is safe. She came
over to my place and is now…" Is what? Holding
Alex Krycek in her arms and
comforting him in the damn living room? "…resting
comfortably on the couch." Not a
total lie, but
it works.
"That is good
news,
Sir. I am glad that you called. I will inform Mulder."
"You're still with Mulder?" He asks,
curious
to find that she is still at
the hospital.
"Yes, Sir. After Dana left, I went in to
check on him,
and he is now resting comfortably himself.
We had a long conversation and he is finally asleep. I thought it best if I stayed here to make
sure that he was not bothered by anyone."
Agent
Reyes had a talk
with Mulder?
"That is nice
of
you, Agent Reyes. Please, let him know
when he wakes that Scully is okay, and we'll be by sometime in the
morning."
Why do I
suddenly feel
as though I am intruding on something here, as well?
"Okay, I will
tell
him. Good night, Sir."
"Good night,
Agent
Reyes." Skinner replies as he hangs
up, placing the phone back on the nightstand. Now
what? She sounded so cheerful
since the last
time we spoke.
What
is
going on with
Mulder?
Oh,
I don't have time
for these things. I have got to get
Scully home and in bed. She is too tired
to be out driving in the middle of the night.
Then I have got to get some sleep, myself.
I
sure as
hell hope
things will make more sense in the daylight. I am getting too old
for
this
shit.
With a
wry
smirk on his
face, he rises from his seat on the bed and quietly walks down the
stairs, and
out into the living room. "Da…" He
begins to whisper, before he stops in his
tracks-and stares. His smile broadens
across his tired features, as he takes in the sight of his two friends.
Dana
and
Alex are both
fast asleep? She is holding on to
him, protectively?
It almost looks as though she wants to keep
all of the monsters away. From the both
of them.
They
must
have slipped
into unconsciousness from their exhaustion that way, while she had been
comforting him.
Hesitating
momentarily on
what he should do, Skinner decides to leave them be, and quietly walks
over to
the couch where he pulls the blanket that had dropped to the floor up
over
their sleeping bodies. Still smiling, he
turns around and proceeds to the dining table.
Picking up the coffee cups and carafe, he takes them in the
kitchen and
places them
into the sink. He then turns off the
coffee pot and the lights, and walks toward his bedroom; giving them
one more
quick glance as he climbs the stairs.
Everything
will work
itself out. It always does.
He
thinks, while removing his clothes, and then slipping into the bed;
hoping to
enjoy the first sound sleep he has had in a long while.
I
just
hope that we
can handle what comes next: confronting
Mulder...
