Chapter Seven -
Information...I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.
~ Franklin P. Adams
3:52
p.m.
Stunned by Mulder’s hasty departure Walter and John look on helplessly, as Alex rushes over to Dana. She appears as though she is about to faint; despair and anger written all over her lovely features, and his heart skips two beats with the desire raging within him for revenge at the man who has just plunged her into abject misery.
Picking
her up very carefully,
he swiftly crosses the room and sits upon the couch.
Keeping his arms around her, he then holds
her tenderly against his chest, as she finally lets her guard back
down, and softly
cries.
“It’s
not fair, Sashka,” she
states through her sorrow, “Why wouldn’t he at least listen to what I
have to
say? I have always
listened to
him. To his many crazy ideas and
theories, even when I didn’t agree with him!
But still, I listened. Now? Now he just walks away? He accused me of losing my mind!
Am I crazy, Alex?
Am I just totally nuts to see the truth for
what it is? Oh my God, he told me to
have a nice life!” She shrieks, raising
her head to stare up at him.
Tears of
both sorrow and
anger stream down her cheeks, and it takes all of his self-control to
keep from
leaving her to go out and find Mulder.
If I could do it right now, Mulder, I swear to
God I would
find you and punch your fucking lights out!
“Why
wouldn’t he listen to me, Sashka?
When I finally have the ability to give him
what he has wanted for so long, he won’t even pay attention! Damn him!”
She rails, replacing her head back onto his chest and releasing
her pent
up frustration. All of the pain and
torment she has felt over the past few months begins to finally pour
out of
her, as she clutches tightly to Alex’s left arm.
He
quietly and soothingly
caresses her back, while speaking gentle words into her ear. Though he is seething inside at the pain that
Mulder has caused her; he manages to maintain his composure enough to
help the
woman he loves.
“It will
be all right, Katya. I promise.
It will be all right. Don’t
worry, Sweetness, you are not crazy. He is just a bullheaded fool.
He’ll come around. He will.
It just may take some time. He
has already had a lot to deal with in the past few days.
Soon, he will cool off and realize how wrong
he had been to talk to you the way he has.
I am here, though, Katya. For as
long as you’ll have me, I am here for
you.”
She
wraps her arms around
him tightly and squeezes, gaining some much needed comfort.
Her
uncharacteristic
behavior almost breaks him, and he becomes even more infuriate.
I have never seen her look so defeated. Not even at her sister’s gravesite. That son of a bitch is going to pay! I cannot believe that he did this to
her. To her!
After a
few moments, he
hears the soft noise of a clearing throat, and looks up, catching
Walter’s
concerned gaze. Realizing they have yet
to eat, he nods slightly toward the dining room table.
Walter
nods his
comprehension and nudges John, who has been standing-looking both
pissed and
helpless-inside the kitchen doorway.
John follows him through into the kitchen, and they start to
bring food
out, placing it on the table.
“Come
on, Katya. Let’s eat dinner.
The four of us. It’ll be nice. Real friends around the table; doing nothing
but enjoying each other’s company.” Alex
promises.
“I’m not
hungry.” Dana replies, her voice muffled
against his
shirt, now damp from her tears.
He
chuckles. “Since when is an
eight-months-along pregnant
woman not hungry?
Come on,
Sweetheart.” He pleads, gently prying
her arms from him; helping her to sit in an upright position. “You need to eat. If
not for you, at least for the baby.”
He pulls
her chin up with
his right hand, and smiles warmly. “Please,
Katya. Eat something.
Don’t let this incident bother you too
much. You should be used to Mulder acting
this way. He has done it for years. I wasn’t really expecting him to stay simply
because we are together. It just proves
he was not able to handle it. However he
will, in time.”
Fresh
tears threaten her
pretty face, as she peers at him. She
can see the love in his eyes. The love
for her he had kept hidden for so long, and it makes her body ache for
him. “Alex? Why
wouldn’t he listen to me?”
Her
repeated question
hurts his heart, and he momentarily clenches his teeth in anger, before
grinning broadly with his answer. “For
the simple reason being that he is not ready, Love.
Just give him some time. He will
come around. Now, don’t worry anymore this
evening. Please.
Come on. Join me for dinner. John and I did not slave over a hot stove all
day, just to have it go to waste.” He
mischievously finishes.
She
notes the sudden
changes in his expression, and the gleam in his eyes, and returns his
smile;
knowing he is keeping a lid on his temper for her sake.
“You and John? Slaving over a hot
stove?” She retorts, “Now that image is funny.” She
replies, stifling a chuckle of her own.
“That’s
my girl. There is the smile that I love
and
crave. Come on, I’ll help you up.” He stands and grasps her along her waist,
helping her to her feet.
They
turn toward the
table, and she smiles at Walter and John as they walk in from the
kitchen.
They
each grin in return.
“All
right, guys. Let’s eat.
Then we will figure out where to go from here.”
She says, feeling more like herself
again. Strong, tough-as-nails, and glad
to have both the love of the man beside her, and friends like Walter
and John.
4:18 p.m.
Most of
the ride back
from Skinner’s house had been spent in silence, as was their walk from
the
parking lot and through his hallway, so his sudden repeated outburst
almost
sends Monica flying out of her skin.
She had
sat and worried
about Mulder and Scully, rehashing their fight in her mind, while he
had fumed
behind the wheel of his sedan, appearing to grow angrier at each
passing
intersection. And though he had not
driven a car in over six months, she had found herself not about to
argue with
him when he had demanded the keys from her upon their hasty exit of the
penthouse. All she had been able to do
was try to remain calm, and pray that they would make it to Mulder’s
own
residence-alive.
Now,
standing beside him
at the door, she tentatively starts to speak.
“I don’t know him, Mulder, or the history you two seem to have. However, if Dana believes him, wouldn’t that
mean that maybe he isn’t whom you
think he is?
He turns
an angry glare on
her as they enter the door, and is about to say something rude, but
hastily decides
against it.
She’s right. She
doesn’t know the history and, therefore, I have no right to lay into
her for
her comment. Yet, I will try my damndest
to get her to see things my way! Even if
it takes all night to accomplish!
Wary,
she can see he
desires to say something more-and thus braces herself for his angry
retort-however
when it doesn’t come, she relaxes a little and waits for him to
continue to
calm down.
I know it will take a while, nevertheless,
there has to be a way for me to remind him of
Dana’s loyalty to him. To remind him that she would never bring up
someone like
Alex Krycek to deliberately hurt him!
I saw Dana walk out of the kitchen
with…him…holding his hand
and I could tell that there was something going on between the two. I sensed both her happiness at being with
him, and her apprehension at the confrontation that would apparently
take
place.
Even if I had yet to know the
man’s name; just his being so bodily close to her, I knew, it would be
enough
to unnerve Mulder. Though they are only
friends, I was aware instinctively-from the moment I met him-that he
would be
fiercely protective of her. No matter
that he was a complete ass at the hospital.
Poor Day. I wish
she had said something to me earlier, when we talked.
I wish she had mentioned to me that he was
going to actually be there. I was not
prepared for that exhibition at
all!
“What
are you thinking
about?” Mulder suddenly asks, startling
her yet again, as he forces himself to take it easy by setting down on
the
couch and motioning for her to join him.
Might as well come out with it, Mon. No time like the present. “I
was thinking about Dana, actually. About a
conversation we had earlier today.”
“Oh? Regarding what?”
“Dinner.”
“Dinner?”
“Well,
not the dinner
itself, really. More of, more of a case
she said she had some new information about.
Information that she would tell you tonight.
At dinner.
I had no idea it was going to turn out like this.”
“What?! You
knew Krycek was going to be there,
Monica?” Mulder asks, his anger
returning as he jumps to his feet, away from her.
“No,
Mulder. I didn’t.
I don’t even know who this man is.
All she had said was that she had learned that this man, Alex,
had not
killed your father, and she wanted to explain it to you.”
She replies, unperturbed by his actions.
“How did
you and Scully
just happen to start talking about this
guy this afternoon?” He
asks, even more curious at her words.
“It’s
nothing,
Mulder. I simply mentioned something to
her, because she is your doctor. At the
time, I was worried about you. As it
were, apparently I was mistaken about your health.
You certainly appear to not be having any
problems, now. What with your quick
ability
to get pissed off, and storm out of apartments located in skyscrapers,
you seem
to be the picture of health.”
“What
the hell did you
mention?” He asks, a bit miffed by her
underlying tones of sarcasm, but too determined to receive an answer
from her
to call her on it.
“I asked
her who Alex
Krycek is. She asked me why I wanted to
know. I told her I was curious because
you had said you wanted some answers and that you wanted to kill him. That is when she informed me of her knowledge
of some new information, but that she would not talk about it until
dinner. That is all, Mulder.”
“Why the
hell
would you go and tell Scully something that I told you?”
He asks, his anger once again rising as the
realization of what she has done begins to fully sink in.
“It was none of her business! That was between us!”
“I was
worried about
you. I still am.” She
answers, calmly; refusing to allow his
anger to get to her.
Her
demeanor surprises
him, and the anger leaves him, as he rejoins her on the couch. “Why would that worry you?
What I had said?”
“Because,
it doesn’t seem
like something you would do.” She
insists, not retreating from his intense gaze as he sits down.
“You
don’t even know me!” He rejoins, stunned. “How the hell would you know what I would or
wouldn’t do to that son of a bitch? If
given even the slightest…”
“No, I
don’t know you,
Mulder. You’re right.
However, I would like to. I really would. Yet,
I can’t become involved with someone who
hates another to the point of murder. Which is why I mentioned it to Day. She assured me, as soon as you heard her out
that you would understand a few things, and it would all work out. Instead, I received the treat of watching you
blow up in her face. Her
face, Mulder! Dana’s.
Your best friend!
The one you
have always trusted to never hurt you. I
want to get to know you, Mulder. Yet, if
you can turn on her like
that, what chance do I
have? How do I know that next time, it
won’t be me?”
He sits
and stares at
her, astounded, and feeling like a jackass once more.
Twice
in less than twenty four hours. Has to
be a record there, Mulder. Wait a
minute…did she say ‘involved’? “What
have I done?” He whispers, as her words
begin to sink into his mind. “She will
never forgive me now. I accused her of
losing her mind. I told her to have a
nice life!” He reiterates, as he stands
again and starts pacing the floor.
“She is
not crazy,
Mulder.”
“No. I am.
Come on, let’s go.” He says, as
he grabs his leather jacket. Picking up
his keys, he stares at them for a moment and then hands them to her.
“Where
are we going?”
“To be
completely honest
here, Monica. I am starting to really
like you, too. If we are to have that
chance you spoke about, I need to go back and listen to Scully. Even if it means having to put up with Krycek
being in the same room. Otherwise, I may
never get the answers I want, and I may lose my best friend in the
process. If I haven’t already.”
“Great! Cause I am starving! Not
to mention dying of curiosity, myself.” She
declares, anxious to find out the details
of Dana’s new…man.
Quickly
exiting the
apartment, they retrace their route back to Skinner’s place. This time,
with
Monica driving Mulder’s car.
Alex
pulls out her chair,
and then moves to sit across from her, as Skinner sits in his usual
spot at the
head.
“I don’t
know, John. I was not anticipating this
evening turning
out the way it has so far, with just the four of us.”
“Five.” They reply in unison, teasing her.
She
smiles, looks down,
and chuckles. “Okay, five of us. But, yes, I’m kind of at a loss now as to
what to do for the rest of the evening.
It is Saturday. After the events
you have all just witnessed, I would rather not talk shop anymore today. Though I do have a question for you,
Alex. You too, Walter.”
“What is
that, Dana?” Walter asks curiously, while
Alex continues
to look at her.
“After
everything that
has come to light, and, of course only if you are interested, Alex, I
was
wondering if there is any way possible in which we could have Alex
reinstated
at the FBI.”
If Alex
had been holding
anything he would have dropped it, instead, he can only stare at her,
and she
smiles at his priceless expression.
Christ he is beautiful!
“Did…did
you just ask him
what I think…think you just asked him?”
He quietly asks, too shocked to even raise his voice above a
whisper. Oh yes,
this woman will keep me on my toes for the rest of my life!
John
gapes at her, taken
aback himself. Not that I
would mind having another agent on the team, but Jesus,
doesn’t she even realize she will have another fight on her hands with
Agent
Mulder?
“I don’t
mean to be
jumping the gun here, Alex. But, I do
feel that, with your extensive knowledge of the Syndicate’s Project,
you would once
more be a great asset to the X-Files. Of
course, we would need to clear it by Kersh; however I really don’t see any
reason as to why you could not be reinstated.
That is, if you want to come back and be a member of the X-Files
team.”
He
stares at her, speechless. Is
she
really offering me this chance?
Walter
keenly watches the
two of them, very interested in Alex’s reaction to Dana’s proposition. Wondering if he would be able to pull it off,
were the younger man as willing to rejoin the X-Files, as Dana is
conveying
that she is with her own subtle body language.
“Sashka? Remember our conversation last night? Do you recall the part regarding how badly
you had wanted to be a Special Agent?
How you thought you could make a difference?
This is your chance! Not only are
you being given the opportunity
at a fresh start on your life, but also, can you imagine the feeling of
being able to once again be called: ‘Special Agent Alex Krycek’?”
Instead
of answering her
he finds that he is too stunned to find the words he needs to express
to her
his gratitude. I can’t believe
how fast everything in my life is changing. All
my long time dreams are being fulfilled,
in the span of hours and I’ll
probably have to pinch myself to prove that I am awake, and not
experiencing
some great hallucination.
Startled,
he finds his
wits, looks at her, at them, and says, “Excuse
The
other two men are
more than a little surprised at his sudden departure and Walter rises
to go
after him.
“No.” Dana implores, placing a hand on his arm to
make him return to his seat. “Please. Let me.
I believe he might be in shock, and I want to make sure he’s
okay. To show him that I have not lost my mind, as
Mulder so eloquently put it.”
“All
right, Doctor
Scully. However, please do keep it in
mind that he has been through a lot in the past six months.” Walter reminds her, feeling a bit uneasy at
giving into her request so quickly.
“I know. We all have.
I’ll be right back.” She promises,
as she carefully stands, and then follows after Alex into the kitchen.
Taking a
deep breath, she
walks in and finds him leaning up against the counter by the sink, his
right hand
supporting him, as he holds his head down.
He appears to be crying, or at least, trying to keep himself
from doing
so, yet she can see that he is failing-miserably.
Quietly,
she walks up to
him and begins to gently stroke his back.
At first
he makes no move
toward her, to make her stop, but then he turns and faces her, pulling
her into
his arms and lets his emotions go. All
of the tears and anguish, the pain of the many years he has spent away
from
this woman, away from the FBI, away from life,
comes pouring out of him and she
realizes it is her turn to provide comfort.
In doing
so, she holds
him tightly, as tightly as her baby will allow anyway, and soothingly
tells him,
“It will be all right, Sashka. It will be all right. Everything
happens for a reason, and now…now
you have your chance to seek the justice that you have wanted for so
long. As long as you need me, I will not
leave you.” She swears, and after a few
moments, her
tears come too.
Tears
for all she, also,
has lost over the past eight years. But
too, they are happy tears, because of what she has found herself to be
blessed
with.
They
stand like that,
holding on to each other, supporting each other, for a long while. He takes his right arm from around her waist
and pulls her face up to meet his.
Staring at her tear-stained cheeks through his own moist eyes,
he softly
smiles at her.
“I don’t
know what I have
done to be blessed with so much, especially after all of the pain I
have caused
you over the past eight years, whether directly or indirectly, but Dana
Katherine Scully, I thank God, here and now, for the gift of you and I
would want
nothing more, in this lifetime or the next, than to be with you. I love you, and though I cannot ask why, or
how, for I don’t have the answers to these questions, I also thank God
for
giving us both the courage to surpass our pasts and be allowed to begin
anew. You, alone, have offered me
something that I never allowed myself to believe in.
Love.
“Furthermore,
you are now
offering me a chance to do what I have always
wanted to do. Seek justice.
Not from hiding out among the rats either, but by being in the
light. The light that I craved and
needed, but no one would ever allow me to have, except you. Yes, Walter has become a great friend, and I
would most likely not even be alive, if he had not taken that chance in
that
pub. Yet he did, and for that, too, I am
thankful.
“However,
Dana? What about Mulder?
How can I possibly allow myself to be
reinstated, if the founder of the X-Files still wants me dead? How can we do
this? How can we, you and I, possibly have
a
future, if part of our past won’t let it go?”
The moment Dana left to follow after Alex, John and Walter decide they might as well start eating, as she can take care of whatever needs taken care of, and the food will not wait much longer.
Walter
is just about to
dig into his potato salad, when he hears a soft knock at the front door.
“Who
could that possibly
be?” John asks, more than a little wary,
especially given the fact his gun is still in the glove compartment of
his
truck.
“I have
no idea.” Walter replies, pushing back
from the table
to find out.
Hurrying
to answer the
second knock at the door, he opens it and draws in a surprised breath,
causing John
to immediately stand up from the table.
His meal all but forgotten.
“Sorry
to barge in on
your dinner, Sir. But is Scully still
here?” Mulder asks quietly, both
embarrassed
by his sudden appearance, and ashamed for his earlier actions. “I…I realize…I know
I should have
probably called first, but, I was afraid.
Afraid that, after my extremely rude behavior before, she would
leave,
if she knew I was coming back.”
“Yes,
Mulder. She is here.
Please, come in.” Walter invites,
as he looks at John, who has a bewildered expression on his face, and
shrugs
his shoulders.
“Hi,
Monica.” Walter greets, as they both
reenter his
apartment.
“Good
evening, Sir. John.”
John is
so shocked at
Mulder’s reappearance, he can’t even speak, so he merely nods his head
at them,
and plops back down into his chair.
Then, as recollection hits him, he abruptly rises again. “Agent Mulduh. We
will not allow you to go off on her
again. She is under enough stress as it
is, and it is not good for the baby.” He
swears, walking menacingly toward the couple, as Mulder and Monica
stand just
outside the doorway to the kitchen.
“I’m not
here to cause
another scene, Agent Doggett. I
promise. I have come back because I am
an ass, and realized it when I calmed down.
Now, where is Scu…Never mind, I see her.” He
replies, as he walks and then suddenly stops,
just inside the kitchen.
For a
moment he is once again
filled with a rage so sweet and pure, it is almost all-consuming, as he
finds
himself watching Krycek lift Scully’s face.
Then he notices the tears in both of their eyes, and understands
he has,
indeed, been an asshole. At least to
her. Shit,
I guess things have definitely
changed while I have
been…away.
Backing
up a little, so
he is just out of Alex’s field of vision, he listens to what Alex is
saying to
her. He can tell that this is a private
moment between them, and is just about to return to the living room,
when he
hears his name.
“…Mulder? How can I possibly allow myself to be
reinstated, if the founder of the X-Files still wants me dead? How can we do this? How
can we, you and I…”
You and I?!
Mulder
walks back in and stares
at Scully, shocked to his very center of being.
Then he sees her face, and recognizes something that was
probably there
earlier, he had just been too blind and pissed off to see it.
She is in love with him?!
Alex Krycek? How can she possibly be in love with Alex
Krycek? He killed her sister!
‘No, Mulder.
Neither one. Luis Cardinal killed
them.’
Scully’s words fly back at him, in his mind.
‘Neither
one.’
Could it be true?
Did Krycek not kill
Melissa? Did he not kill my father? Now I really
need some fucking answers!
“…have a
future, if part
of our past won’t let it go?”
Mulder
watches,
intrigued, as fresh tears fall down both of their faces, and he can
take it no
longer.
Walking
boldly on, straight
into the middle of the kitchen floor, looking at both of them,
together,
seeming so, Right?, lost in each
other, he finds he has to clear his throat in order to gain their
attention.
“Ahem.”
Alex and
Dana both jump
at the sudden noise and, upon seeing Mulder standing in the kitchen
directly in
front of them, she instinctively holds onto Alex even tighter, which
only
serves to give rise to her anger-again.
What the hell?
Since when was I ever afraid
of Mulder?
Alex,
shocked too by the
sudden interruption, gently moves her aside, behind him, and stares at
the
interloper, with extreme anger in his eyes.
“Um…can
we talk?”
Aghast
at the man’s
audacity, Alex momentarily loses his grip on his temper, and states,
“If you
even so much as think of raising your
voice to her again, or upsetting her in any way, I
will put you back into that fucking grave they dug you out of so fast,
Fox
Mulder, it will be as though you never left it, and no one will be there to
save you a second time! So help me God!”
Mulder
flinches at the
fury in the words being thrown at him and he surprises himself by
taking a
small step back. Comprehension then
strikes, and he find himself almost laughing out loud in spite of the
younger
man’s rage.
Krycek is being protective of her, because he loves
her. Krycek loves Scully?
“Don’t
threaten me, Krycek. I’m not here to yell
at Scully. I am not even here to argue
with you. I
heard what you just said, though, and maybe
you’re right. Maybe it is time to bury
the past. To let it go.
I came here for some answers and I won’t
leave again, until I have them.” He says,
as he looks passed Krycek at Scully, pleading with her with his eyes.
“I’m
sorry, Scully. I am sorry I called you
crazy, and I’m sorry
that I walked out telling you to have a nice life.
You are not crazy.
I am. I’m
the one that is nuts. Nuts for not
believing in you. Nuts for not trusting
you. I do not
trust Krycek, but I do
trust you. I always have, so please,
give me another chance. A chance to make
it up to you. I am willing to sit and
listen to whatever it is you have to say.
If you are still willing to say it.
Please.” He pleads, as he gazes
at her, with all of the hope a man could muster, and waits for her
answer.
Dana
walks out from
behind Alex, and holding steadfast to his hand, stares at her former
partner.
“I must
admit, Mulder, I had
been more than a little surprised to hear your voice, when you came up
behind us. Not to mention a bit stunned
that you have
not laid into me again, despite Alex’s demands to the contrary. Or into Alex, for that matter.
Especially as I can only imagine what you
must have thought, seeing us together, as we had been.
Arms around one another…”
Mulder
winces at her
words, but says nothing; keeping sharply aware of exactly where Krycek
is
standing.
This is ridiculous, Dana!
You love Alex. Why
or how, does not matter anymore. Just
that, you do. So, who gives a damn what
Mulder thinks?
I do. But, that is
not why. I am still worried about his
state of mind, as his doctor. I do not want him to lose control, because
of me. To hurt Alex.
“But,
that is neither
here, nor there. No, what I want to
know, Mulder, is what the fuck are you
doing here, and I want the
truth. I do believe you made your choice
quite
clear, earlier, and I find it extremely hard to believe that you would
have had
such a dramatic change of heart in less than an hour.
So, if you are simply standing here to keep
me calm, before starting another argument when Alex’s back is turned,
you can
save your fucking breath and just get the hell out.
I have made my decision, and I have
absolutely no intention of leaving Alex.
“In
fact, you can think I
am crazy all you fucking want to, but there were a few details that
came to
light recently, and, unlike you, I was willing to listen to what Alex
had to
say with regard to the past. Moreover, I
am very
glad that I did. Therefore, with that
said, you can go, Mulder. I don’t know
that I even want to deal with
you at the moment.”
Alex
beams at her, as she
squeezes his hand and he is, once again, amazed at how strong the
petite woman
truly is.
“I am
not here to argue
with you, Scully. I promise.
Please, give me another chance.” Mulder
begs, devastated at the sight of her
holding hands with his bitter enemy, and having no idea how to
assimilate the
very image she is portraying. Jesus,
she has chosen him over me! Yet, deep
down, knowing she would never
intentionally hurt him.
Hell, she saved my life!
Again! Thus, there have
to be some pretty damn good
reasons as to why she is determined to show me that her alliance now
belongs with
the son of a bitch. They would have to
be important, if she now trusts
Krycek. Not to mention loves him, as it is
so blatantly obvious, she does.
Mystified
by what he is
witnessing, and unable to fully believe her statement of not wanting to
deal
with him anymore, he can’t keep himself from saying, “You want truth? Well, I
want to know what is going on here,
Scully. I want to know why it is that,
only
six months ago, this very man was in my…our…office, wanting to explain
what was
going on, and yet you hated him. In
fact, if memory serves, you warned me
against him;
then! Yet, here you are-now-holding
fucking
hands with him. I want to know why. I need
to know why. What happened, Scully? What could he
have possibly told
you, after all of these years, that could have made you change your
opinion of
him, and so severely? Hell, what could
have changed your feelings
for him, as it is blatantly apparent to me that you obviously
feel…affection…for
this son of a…”
“The truth, Mulder? He
told me the truth! Now, I can give you
some answers, Mulder, some
really great answers. But, I will not
explain to you why I love him. I just know that I do. Besides,
it is none of your business!”
“None of
my…” He stops, and then looks away from
her. “No, I guess it really isn’t, is it?”
Suddenly
feeling badly
for him, she glances up at Alex and he lets go of her hand with an
understanding nod.
Biting
her lower lip, she
walks closer to Mulder and touches his shoulder. When
he lifts his gaze, she quietly says, “Mulder,
I still love you. I do.
Just, not in the way that you deserve to be
loved. I did at one time, a long time
ago, but….” She pauses a moment, not
wishing to hurt him, but not wanting to deviate from the truth of the
matter,
either. “I know too much time has
passed-for both of us-for there to be anything else other than
friendship. I don’t expect you to trust
Alex, or even
accept the fact that I love him, but I do want you to listen to him,
Mulder. What he has to say is
very important. I believe that. I also believe that if you would simply give
him a chance, Mulder, you will understand what I mean, and see why I am
so
willing to go against you. So willing to
stand by him.” She finishes with tears
falling, once again.
“You are
my best friend,
Scully. I know that is all we will ever
be, but...” He runs his hands through
his hair in frustration, and jerks away from her touch.
“I can’t believe this! How can you
love him? This is Alex Krycek we are
talking
about. He killed my father!
Your sister!”
Scully
backs away from
his newest outburst of anger, moving to once again stand beside Alex,
who is-again-livid
that Mulder would raise his voice to her.
“I
swear, Mulder…if it
weren’t for her…right now I’d…”
He wants
to hurt him now,
as he knows Mulder must be hurting her.
Nevertheless, as she squeezes his hand, silently pleading with
him by
her touch to stand his ground, he understands that he must allow her to
do what
she feels is necessary, and not interfere.
He looks down at her, as she maintains eye contact with Mulder.
This woman is a lot stronger than I could ever
hope to be.
He reflects, before
listening to what she has to say to her partner.
“No,
Mulder. He did not.
Will you please trust me? How
many times have I gone with you, against protocol I might add, because
I
trusted you? Because all you had to do
was ask me? Too many to count. Well, now I am asking you.
Please, Mulder. Trust me.
Listen to him. To us.”
John, Walter and Monica-too nervous to continue to stay idle in the dining room-doing their best to engage in mundane conversation, as Walter moves Alex’s plate to the setting beside Dana’s-all proceed to the kitchen upon hearing the volume of Mulder’s voice rise. They can help themselves no longer, and catch the last part of the conversation between Mulder and Scully as they enter.
“…This
is Alex Krycek we
are talking about. He killed my
father! Your sister!”
“I
swear, Mulder…if it
weren’t for her…right now I’d…”
“No,
Mulder. He did not.
Will you please trust me? How
many times have I gone with you, against protocol I might add, because
I
trusted you? Because all you had to do
was ask me? Well, now I am asking
you. Please, Mulder. Trust
me.
Listen to him. To us.”
Each of
them grasp, in
their own way, that they are once more witnessing something that most
people
have only heard about through the grapevine at the Bureau.
A Mulder
and Scully
Arguing
with each other,
professionally, personally, and silently.
They are
in awe of
them. The other men stand, in awe, too,
that Alex has yet to throttle the man.
Mulder
and Scully stare
at each other, each not about to give in, yet each knowing that
whatever
decision he comes to, it will either solidify their friendship even
more, or
take it to a level beyond repair.
Alex can
tolerate it no
longer.
“This
undue stress on
Dana is uncalled for, Mulder. Either
pull your shit together, or get the hell out of here!”
“How
dare you talk to me
that way!”
Sighing
in frustration,
Alex squeezes Dana’s hand, but then lets it go.
Then, surprising not only her, but everyone else watching, he
walks up
to Mulder and, standing mere inches from him, says,
“Mulder, I appreciate the fact that right now
you would like nothing better in the world, than to kill me. If I were in your shoes, I would most likely
want to kill me, too. However, do you
really believe that I would come forward, after all of this time, with
the
information that I have, the knowledge that I have, and the love that I
have
for this woman, only to lie to you? This
is not a game, Mulder. Lives are at
stake! Lives like yours, mine, Dana’s
and that child she carries. Your
child, Mulder. We are running out of
time, thus I do not have time to stand here and wait for you to pull
your
egotistical head out of your ass!”
Dana
peers up at him,
shocked that he would stand up to Mulder and say such a thing, but at
the same
time, proud that he actually has. The
others turn their gazes to Mulder.
Waiting for him to either answer, or explode, and Walter takes a
careful
step in the direction of the two men; preparing himself to grab Mulder,
should
he take a swing at Alex.
Dana
holds her breath,
the anticipation smothering her, as she closes the distance between the
two men
and herself. She moves to stand between
them, much to their dismay; Alex’s because he is fearful of Mulder’s
temper-that
he will push her out of his way-and Mulder’s, because he knows he
cannot lay a
hand on her to make her move.
I will not.
Ever.
“You
win, Krycek.” Mulder states after another
tension filled moment,
“Let’s eat, and then I will sit and listen to what you have to say. But, mind you, I am only
doing this because I
care about Scully. I could give a shit
less, about you.” With that said he
abruptly
turns around and, shoving their audience of three aside, walks out of
the
kitchen.
Monica,
glancing questioningly
at Dana, follows him.
John and
Walter walk up
to the remaining couple, stunned by what they have witnessed.
“Again I
have to ask you,
Dana. Are you sure
you know what you
are doin’? I don’t know Agent Mulduh,
but it seems like he is about to lose it.”
John replies.
“He will
be fine.” Dana assures him.
“He will calm down, as soon as he starts
eating. But, I want Alex on the opposite
side of the table. I don’t want to take
any chances while our guards may be down.
I love him, but he can be a complete ass when he doesn’t get his
way.”
“This is
ridiculous,
Dana!” Walter exclaims.
“I’m starting to feel like I live in a God damn
soap opera!”
Alex
laughs, unable to
help himself now that his anxiety has somewhat dissipated, “Well,
Walter, welcome
to One X-File to Live.”
“That is
not funny, Alex!” Walter retorts, trying
to keep from allowing
his own anger to rise. “I seriously
thought I was going to have to pull the two of you apart!”
“Sorry. Just trying to ease the tension a bit. Don’t worry so much, Walt.
I can take care of myself.” He
smiles at his friend then turns to Scully
with a grin. “As for you…Do you plan on
getting between Mulder and I often?”
With a
nefarious smile,
she replies. “Absolutely, if I know it
will keep the two of you from killing each other. Come
on, the baby is hungry.”
“Your
wish is my command,
My Lady.” Taking her by the hand, he
escorts
her out, behind John and Walter, to the table where they each take
their seats,
with Monica and Mulder now seated across the table from Alex and Dana.
To keep
himself occupied,
and his hands busy, Mulder promptly starts to eat the meal of chicken
and
potato salad, once everyone has sat down. Thoroughly
enjoying the prospect of having
real food for the first time in ages, he is not even concerned about
the fact
he is not eating a greasy pizza.
During
his meal he
occasionally glances at Scully, absolutely transfixed by the changes
she has
certainly made since the last time he had spent any real time with her,
so long
ago.
She seems to laugh more.
She is even making her own attempts at saying jokes! Odd, yet refreshing, I guess.
“Monica
was right.” He says aloud, startling
everyone else at the
table with the sound of his voice, after she has finished laughing at a
comment
that John had made regarding babies and feeding time.
Scully
looks at him with
a smile on her face, pleased he is not going to simply ignore everyone
as he
eats. “Right about what, Mulder?”
“You have changed.”
They all
turn to look at
him, and Alex is apprehensive about what he will say next.
I swear
to God, if he starts up again while she is eating, I will kill him!
Mulder
notes the warning look
on Krycek’s face and rapidly amends his statement.
“You’ve changed in a good way, Scully. You
laugh more. It’s nice.”
“To be
honest, Mulder, it
has taken me quite a bit of work on my part to laugh like I do. Yet, after you…died…I became conscious of a
few things. One of which is that, life
is too damn short to be unhappy. When
you died, I too, wanted to die, right alongside of you.
However, I knew that was not possible. Not
with the knowledge that I was
pregnant. I couldn’t do that to the
child, or to you. Therefore, after some
time spent alone, I realized that life had to go on.
You would never have forgiven me, if I had
not let it.
“Thus,
with the help of
those you see here, gathered in this room, I became the person I am
today. I love each and every one of these
people,
Mulder. All in different ways, but I
love them nonetheless. And I love you,
too. You are my best friend, and yes, I
have changed. But, I believe it has been
a good change, like you just said. I
refuse
go back to the old Dana Scully, Mulder.
I can’t. Not for you, not for the
X-Files, not for anyone. I have learned,
the hard way, what is really important in my life, and that is my
family and my
friends. Those whom I love.
Those who love me.”
“What
else did you
realize?” He asks, intrigued by this “new”
Dana Scully sitting before him.
“That
the X-Files have
become just as much a part of my quest, as yours. Though
I won’t allow them to devour me, as I
once did. Especially not with a child on
the way. I am still interested in
seeking the truth, Mulder. I feel that
with more people on our side, such as Walter, John, Monica, and
Alex, instead of just
the two of us, we will be able to conquer the Project that was started
fifty
years ago. We will be able to generate a
vaccine from the Russian’s formula that will keep others from having to
contract the Alien Virus. But,
Mulder. We need your help to do this.”
“Scully,
what all of a
sudden, after so many years, made you a Believer? I’ve
been trying to convince you for years
about the Virus’s existence. Ever since
She
notices his
correction, and smiling slightly, continues, “No. Those
are two different subjects
entirely. What Alex has to tell you is
about the past. But what we, as a group,
have to tell you is regarding the past, present and possible future. Mulder, if this virus gets out among the
general population it will have dire consequences.
Worse than anything that has ever plagued
this planet. I have seen it work. Hell, you were infected with the Black Oil
when you were in
Mulder
whips his head up
from his bite of potato salad. “How did
you know that I was subjected to it in
“Alex
told me,
Mulder. Alex has told me everything.”
“Well,
almost everything.” Alex corrects, looking
first at Walter, then
at her; a crease forming between his eyes as he thinks about the one
item he
failed talk about in detail.
God damn silo.
“What do
you mean,
almost?” She asks, more than a little
worried by the expression on his face.
“You’re not talking about…”
Realizing
he has no need
to fear the topic any longer, he takes her hand. “Dana.
Don’t worry. I told you
everything except for the details about…”
“Are you
referring to
He nods,
but remains
silent.
Monica
can feel the anxiety
radiate off of the man across the table from her, and though she knows
Mulder
hates him, for whatever reasons he may have, she feels the need to hear
his
story. “Tell us, Alex.
What happened?”
Mulder
gapes at her,
stunned.
I cannot believe that this woman, whom I am
beginning to
care for-more and more-actually wants to hear something come from the
traitor’s
mouth.
Dana,
who understands
that Monica would have never said anything, especially if she hadn’t
“felt” it to
be necessary, smiles appreciatively at her friend, before returning her
attention to the man sitting beside her.
“Go on, Sashka.” She prods, gently. “Tell us. It will be all right.
I promise you, nothing is going to harm you
now.”
Alex
smiles lovingly at
her, before replying, “Considering what happened to me just prior to,
and in,
Mulder
stares at him, utterly
speechless by his confession.
“Both,
about the aliens
and the Project.” Alex continues, “That
is also why you two were there, wasn’t it, Mulder?
Because of the Consortium dealings?”
“We went
there looking
for you.” Mulder
admits nonchalantly, while grabbing a
soda from the center of the table, his food all but forgotten. He casually opens the can and takes a sip,
his eyes never leaving those of Krycek.
“I was after that digital tape you stole, and we had received a
tip that
you were headed up North, so we followed your trail.”
“I never
knew you had
been there, until later.” Alex admits, ignoring the barb within
Mulder’s voice.
“I just know that I had ended up there for an entirely different reason
than
your own. I didn’t
have the
tape. Not anymore. No,
I was led there by the Black Oil, or
whatever force seemed to control it from…I don’t remember how I
actually got
there, but I do know that I was locked in the silo upon my arrival.”
“You
were locked
in?” Mulder repeats, his eyes widening
in horror despite himself, as he recalls the complete and utter
darkness of the
silo from when he and Scully had been inside, shortly before they were
arrested
by the military.
That Cigarette Smoking Bastard!
He knew Krycek had been there all along!
“Yes, I
was…trapped…by
Spender. He was the one who had the
military arrest you, after you had arrived.
He didn’t want you to know. He…he
didn’t want you to find what it was that he was keeping hidden within
the
depths of all that concrete and rebar. He…I
fully believe this, now, that he…he took me there on purpose. Or, I should say, took It
there. To Silo
1013. He left me
there, because that
way he could kill two birds with one stone.
So to speak.
“I will
never forget the
fear that consumed me, once I had the ability to understand what was
happening. Nor will I forget my extreme
panic,
afterward; concerning what happened.
After what I found to be with me…in…in the dark.”
He stops
speaking, visibly
shaking, and though the others are interested in hearing more, Dana
cannot
handle the images that spring to her mind.
Jesus, what this man must have had to endure! Locked away in a dark, cold, concrete
cell. With no way of escape!
Like…like when he was a child in
“Sashka,
please…don’t.” She pleads, “You don’t have
to continue.”
Now I know why he had kept this from me. It is too horrifying to even comprehend!
“It’s okay, Katya. Actually,
it feels…good…to let it all
out. Now, maybe, I can move on and
really put it to rest. But, I must
finish. Don’t worry; I’m fine,
really. I’m here with you, and this
happened
a long time ago.”
“Yes,
but, to have to
suffer like that? Literally locked away
from the world? With no
one to care either way? It is
simply too hard to grasp.” She states,
while
fighting back her tears. “You could
have…could have…”
“Yes,
but, I made it out,
Dana. I made it out, and here we are
now.” Alex says with a quick peck to her
cheek, as he rushes to reassure her, stunned by her compassion over an
event
that she had no control over.
She
smiles at him in
appreciation of his concern for her own well being.
“Damn hormones.” She lies, hoping
the tension in the room will
alleviate with it.
Everyone
except Mulder
smiles at her, as they can see it is not her hormones reacting, but her
feelings regarding any harm coming to the man sitting beside her.
Mulder
rolls his
eyes. God, he has got her
wrapped around his fucking little finger! I
can’t believe she is such a sucker for him!
Alex
grins, trying his
best to make her feel better, and then continues, blatantly ignoring
Mulder’s
glare.
“The
reason I found that
I was drawn to the place was not because of me, personally, but because
of the
Black Oil, as I already stated.”
“What is
this “Black
Oil”?” Monica asks, more than a little
intrigued with his tale.
“It
was…is…an alien
virus. I had become infected with it.” He says, before returning his attention to
Mulder. “Do you remember
Mulder
looks at him
sharply for a moment. “Yes, I had gone
there after a woman. I was looking for
the digital tape. Instead, I found
you. You were her contact.
After she was killed, I made you come with me
back to the States.”
Where you, once again, slipped through my damn
fingers,
you slick bastard.
“Yes,
and it was in the
restroom at the airport that it happened.
A woman had followed me in there.”
“A woman? I don’t remember seeing any woman.” Mulder replies, “Although,” he pauses, “now
that I think back, you did seem
different when you came
out. That must have been when the Oil
jumped hosts, yes?”
“Yes.”
“What
happened in the
silo, Alex?” John inquires, not trusting
Mulder to keep from starting another argument, and very interested in
hearing
about the Black Oil and
“They
aren’t.” Alex responds, watching his new
friend,
knowing that he is trying to keep Mulder as quiet as possible, so that
he can
finish speaking. “At least, not all of
them are empty.”
“What do
you mean? Where did this Black Oil go? Is it still down there? I
mean, it’s clear that it didn’t kill you,
but somethin’ must have happened to it.”
“It went
into the ship.”
“What ship?” Mulder
and Scully ask in unison. Identical looks
of surprise gracing both of
their faces.
“The
ship that Spender
was hiding in the depths of Silo 1013.
The ship is what drew…the
Oil…there, Mulder. However, I didn’t
realize that is what it
was, until I was on top of it, and the Black Oil began
to-literally-pour out of
me and into the massive craft. Afterward-after
my rescue-is when I finally came to my senses and realized that I had
been
stuck in a hole, a mile down, in the middle of nowhere.”
He pauses, takes a sip of his own soda, and
then continues.
“That
black-lunged son of
a bitch knew it, too. He was the only
one who knew it. Knew that I’d be forced
to stay inside as long as I was infected.
That he could very easily lock the door on me, because once the
Oil had
what it wanted, I’d be left to die fully aware of my circumstances. That is exactly why he had had you and Dana
arrested. He didn’t want you to find
me. To know that I was there.
He wanted me to die!
“I don’t
know how long I
was, either; beating on the inside of that door until my hands were
raw, and
bloody. Yelling until I had no voice left.
“Then
those militia men
found me. At that point, I was just so
utterly grateful to be back above ground that I pretended I wanted to
become
one of them. Once I realized what they
were truly all about, I waited until I had enough information on their
sinister
dealings to tip off Mulder with different types of fertilizer receipts.
“Except…then
that fiasco
of a raid on the militia, and that damn pouch, led us to
“Yes.” Alex agrees, bewildered by the quiet tone of
Mulder’s words.
Mulder
merely blinks at
him, and then looks away, as puzzle pieces begin to fall into place
within his
mind after what Krycek has said.
“You
mean this stuff,
this Black Oil, is also in
“What do
you mean by
‘tests’?” John inquires, equally
stunned.
Alex
turns to look at the
both of them, a little surprised by John’s lack of knowledge on the
subject
considering his time on the X-Files, and intrigued by Monica’s desire
to know
more.
“Among
other places,
Agent Reyes.” Alex replies, “And, John,
it is because of the tests that were conducted that proves to me why it
is
imperative we get the vaccine into mass production.
We must keep the Oil from taking over the
planet.”
“Is that
how you lost
your arm?” Monica asks, quietly. Ever more curious about this man and how he
is connected to Mulder. How they all seem
to be becoming connected, now.
“How?” Alex asks, unsure of what she means. Why would
she bring up the subject at this point in the conversation?
“Was it
because of the experiments
in
Concerned,
Dana watches
Alex after hearing the question that has been posed.
Though she had heard part of this tale this
morning, she is none to eager to hear it again.
However, she can see by his determined expression that he will
repeat
it. If only to convince Mulder of his
sincerity.
Damn it, Mulder.
You had better realize just what it is taking-from the both of
us-to
have you hear what this man has to say!
“I lost
my arm after Mulder and I escaped from
the camp.” Alex replies, unaware of the
conflict raging within Dana.
“You
mean after I escaped and you
tried to recapture me.” Mulder retorts,
icily.
“No,
Mulder. I was not trying to “recapture”
you. I wanted to escape with you. At that point,
it was both of our asses on the
line.” He responds, with a sad look;
trying his best to convey the honesty of his words.
I don’t even know why the hell I bother! It is not like he’ll ever believe a damn word
I am saying. Now, or ever!
With a
beleaguered sigh,
Alex says, “After we escaped, Mulder rolled the truck he had
commandeered, and
in the accident, I was rendered unconscious.
When I came to, he was gone and I fled deeper into the Tunguskan
forest,
where I happened across a group of Russian peasants who came to my aid. They fed me, wrapped me in blankets and
allowed me to sleep. What never occurred
to me, though, was that they would have the desire to do to me what
they had
done to themselves.” He stops speaking,
and looks at Mulder; pain evident within his eyes.
Mulder
looks away, unexpectedly
feeling guilty, though he cannot fathom why.
Why the fuck am I feeling badly for Krycek?
Dana
catches the exchange
and places her hand on Alex’s thigh, urging him to continue, though it
is
painful. Having seen Mulder’s momentary
reflection of guilt makes her realize that he might be starting to
believe
Alex’s story, and therefore takes it as a positive sign.
Mulder
momentarily touches
his left arm, feeling the scar there from the vaccine injection. The only physical reminder he has of his
captivity in
Is he really
telling the truth? Would he have, albeit
unwillingly, sacrificed a part of himself, if he had been on Their
side?
Alex
notices Mulder’s
turmoil, but choosing to ignore it, continues with his storytelling;
his voice sounding
almost mechanical.
“I was
awakened in the
middle of the night by several of the men falling on top of me. It took me a moment to…to realize…that they
were hold…holding me down. That…that
they…they were…forcibly cutting off my left arm, a little below the
shoulder,
with a hot knife. I fought them off, as
best as I possibly could, but I must have…screamed…to the point of
passing out,
because…because…when I awoke once more, it…it was…morning.
The campfire was out, they were gone, and so
was my arm.”
“Excuse
me.” Dana implores, as she abruptly leaves
the
table, much to the surprise of everyone else, and flees to the
restroom, where
she proceeds to expel the delicious food she has just consumed. She then moves to wash her face, and to rid
the
foul taste from her mouth. However, even
with the cool water, the startling images of what must have happened to
Alex
will not dissipate within her doctor’s mind, and she promptly vomits
again.
Everyone stares after her, not knowing what they should do.
Mulder
makes to stand,
but one look by Alex, and he finds himself immediately sitting back
down.
Shit! I can’t even
go to her, now! What, is it no longer my
place, as he so possessively seems to say?
God, this is too fucking weird!
Alex
stares at Mulder,
understanding the man wants to follow her, but he can’t bring himself
to allow
it.
I really can sympathize with the man. But, this time? This
time it is I that must go. It is I whom
she needs to see. To talk to.
Rising,
he nods at
Walter’s inquiring expression, and then makes his way down the hall.
“Dana? Sweetheart, are you okay?”
She
stands from the side
of the tub, where she had taken a much needed seat, and opens the door,
her tears
flowing freely. “I’m sorry.
I just…I can’t bear to hear anymore. It’s
too much. First Mulder, now you? No. I
won’t take anymore. I have had it with
these images of pain and torture, Alex.
Fucking had it!” She declares,
before crying even harder; her face now buried within her small hands.
He walks
in swiftly, and
pulls her into his arms. Holding her
tightly, as she cries into his chest, he strokes her hair and her back,
speaking
softly to her in Russian.
“мой любовь, мой
жизнь. сокр. Ты сюрприз меня!”*
He
kisses the top of her head. “Everything
is fine, Katya. It was long ago. I am over it, now. I
had no intention of ever telling you that
story. Let alone twice in one day, nor
would I have if I had known it would hurt you so.”
He pulls away and brings her head up with a
finger under her chin. He then softly
wipes away the tears that stain her face and slowly lowers his own,
kissing her
gently.
Once
again it is electrifying for them both.
As their kiss ends, she gazes into his eyes, smiling demurely. “I am so sorry, Aleksei. I’m
sorry for all of the pain you’ve had to
go through. For what you, too, have lost
over the years. I am so sorry.” She says, as fresh tears spring to her eyes,
and his.
“Shh,
Dana. Please, don’t apologize. You had no control over what happened to
me. Your just being here with me, more
than makes up for everything I may have lost in the past.
More than makes up. So please, dry
your pretty eyes and come back
out to the table. I promise you, no more
talk of the past, once I have explained everything to Mulder. I promise.”
“I
promise, too.” She replies, wiping his
tears away with her right hand, holding him around his middle, with her
left.
“Fresh
start.”
“Yes,
мой любовь**.
Fresh start.” He kisses her again; passionately, and then
leads her from the
bathroom, back to the dining room.
* My Love, My Life. You surprise me!
** My Love.
Copyright ~ 2001 - 2006 ~ ThamasD